B&Q bathroom fuck up – day 43

The electrician arrives at 8:20 and looks at the lights and says oh, I didn’t know they were spotlights, I can’t install them today as I haven’t got the right tools.  He goes to phone his office and says that they’ll phone me in a minute.   Louise from the fitters leaves a message on my mobile asking me to ring her.  I ring her when I get to work and she says that she’s spoken to the electrician and he couldn’t install the light because they’re spotlights and they weren’t booked to install spotlights and my ceiling is plaster and lathe and they can drill through the plaster but not the lathe and there’s no access to the ceiling from the attic or something like that and she’s going to charge me for a wasted visit.  Is she fuck.  I say oh no you’re not.  She says she is.  I say you’ve ripped my floor, left the window open twice, left the keys in the gas meter box in the front garden and last night I came home to find out you’ve burnt my toilet seat and now you want to charge me a call out fee, you’re taking the piss.  She says she doesn’t know of any of these problems.  I say yes you do because I told the installation centre who told you and the installation manager’s coming tomorrow to look at the kitchen floor and I’m going to be showing him the burnt toilet lid too.  She says B&Q haven’t mentioned anything and if there are any problems then I should call her direct.  I say I’m not calling you direct, I’m doing everything through the installation centre because they log everything on their computer system.  She says what’s this about a broken toilet.  I say it’s not broken, it’s burnt, the last fitter which was Clive must have been smoking in there.  She says Clive doesn’t smoke.  I say well it’s burnt so someone was and it wasn’t me as I don’t smoke and no one’s allowed to smoke in my house anyway.  She says it’s company policy that no one smokes on site.  I say well it’s burnt, I can’t think how else it got burnt.  She says why didn’t you tell us about it earlier.  I say I only saw it last night.  She says she’ll find out who left my window open.  I say you left it open twice.  You  left my keys in the gas meter box.  She says didn’t you want them left in there?  I say why would I?  They must have been there for a week, I didn’t know where my keys were.  She says she’ll look into everything and call me back later.  She doesn’t mention the call out fee again which is probably in her own interests. If she’d had been standing in front of me, I’d have punched the stupid bitch.  Fucking call out fee.  Is she on drugs?  All the time I’ve wasted waiting in for fitters who didn’t bother to turn up, all the phone calls I’ve made, they ruin my property and she wants to charge me?  Jesus, four hours later and I am still fuming.

I call my friend Alan at the installation centre and tell him about the spotlights and that Louise said she’s charging me a call out fee and that I’m not paying anything.  He says no of course you’re not paying anything.  I say I’ll get a new light that they can install.  I say they burnt my toilet seat, they must have been smoking in there.  I say the installation manager’s coming tomorrow and I’ll show him.  I say I mentioned to the fitters about ripping my floor and leaving the window open and that they said they hadn’t been told about it and he says they were told and I say yes, that’s what I said.  I say I’m sick of the fitters and Alan says that he is too.  I say they said I should phone them direct with any problems but I’m not going to as you can log everything and he says yes, that’s right.  He says when can I get a new light?  I say anytime, I’m off after today.  He says he’ll see if he can find an electrician in my area.

I now know what being incandescent with rage means.

Fucking fitters.  Aarrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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