I wake up to the fake sunrise and hear something going bleep bleep bleep downstairs and I think what’s that? and I realise it’s my watch alarm and I wonder why I don’t hear it every morning and I realise that that’s because it’s Saturday and usually I have my alarm clock bleeping at me and my mobile alarm bleeping at me and I get up after a restless night of dreams of grey furry hats, grey fleeces, orange umbrellas and male rape and my quilt’s half on the floor and I think I’m too tired to go for a run and I think I have to go for a run, I even forsook my Friday night bottle of wine so I could get up early and I think but I always get up early on a Saturday anyway and then I think I’ve got lots and lots of things to do this weekend and I think but I have already organised everything I’m going to do in my head and my time is accounted for including going out for a four mile run first thing Saturday and then I think I don’t even want to do a stupid half-marathon anyway, I’m not going to be able to put the training in, what’s going to happen when I have to do a ten mile run and I’m going to have to be out of the house for about two hours? and I think oh well I don’t have to think about that at the mo and I think it’s only 8:20, I should go now while it’s still quite early and then I think I need more songs on my iPod so I waste some more time putting songs on my iPod and then I think I need The Cure on my iPod too and I look to see how many Cure songs I have and it’s 144 and I think bollocks, that’ll take ages to load and I really want to leave the house now so I don’t bother with The Cure and I eventually make it out of the house at 9:00 and go to do my four mile route and I also decide to go without my camera, eek, and I get to the marshes and as I approach where the cows live I’m hoping they’re not standing up waving and pulling funny faces just because they know I haven’t got my camera with me but they’re not, they’re just standing around doing their usual cow thing and I decide to run up to the marina which is a way I haven’t gone before and I can’t see the bridge and the marshes look never ending and then I get to the bridge and the boats and I can see into someone’s kitchen and it looks really cosy and they’ve got a washing machine and I think I really really want to live on a boat and I think I could live on a boat and make jewellery and I think that would really suit me then I wouldn’t have to deal with annoying people in offices and I’m running alongside the river and a woman is running towards me on the same side and I think oh shit, I wonder if I can force her to move to the other side, I don’t want to go near the water’s edge, I might fall in and she does move and then a cyclist comes along and I think I’m certainly not moving for a cyclist and he moves and then another cyclist comes along and I wonder if my luck with people moving out of the way has run out and I think it has as he’s hugging the side and I think well I’m not moving but he doesn’t look like he’s moving either so I think I could either get run over or get on to the verge so I move out of his way and the wanker doesn’t even bother to say thank you and then I get to the bridge that has Tottenham Marshes on the other side and I think the last time I was up here was in July at my last race and after that I couldn’t hardly walk for two months and I think was that really only three months ago? it seems ages ago and it was nice and sunny then and I got sunburnt and that must have been the only hot day of the year and then I’m back on the street and I get to the tube station and my Garmin says I’ve done 4 miles exactly and I think oh shit, I was only meant to do 4 miles and I’m about a mile from my house and I think never mind, it’s all downhill from here, I’ll just do another mile and I think my house must be in a dip as whichever way I approach it, it’s down a hill and I think that means that if there’s a flood, my house will be submerged and I think that doesn’t sound like a good thing and then there’s a man walking in front of me and he turns round and moves to the side and I think don’t bother mate, I’m going so slowly I’m never going to catch you up and then he gets to a tree and stops to let me get past so I feel obliged to speed up so he can get on his way and I just about manage to say thanks and then I’m half a mile from home and think now I can spend all day staring at code and customising my new online jewellery shop, which at the mo looks like it’s going to consist purely of bracelets as I made another one last night
and then I’m home after doing my longest run for ages and ages, hurrah.
Distance: 4.91 miles
Cyclists getting out of my way: 1
Cyclists not getting out of my way: 1
The Polyphonic Spree