JogBlog running blog

After my and my anonymous friend with her anonymous blog’s failed attempt at undertaking the Great Voucher Abuse Pub Crawl Challenge - which had it all gone to plan would have seen us using our get four bottles of Bud free vouchers at four Central London Pitcher & Pianos which would have meant 16 free bottles of Bud each with the slight possibility of a slight headache the next day - a few glasses of champagne later in a bar somewhere in Soho we decide to not be deterred and to continue on with the Great Voucher Abuse Pub Crawl Challenge on Monday albeit a mini version comprising of just the Liverpool Street and Fenchurch Street branches, me rapidly forgetting that I had given up drinking.  Oops.

But Monday comes and I have to bow out of the GVAPCC due to having some web design work to do although I have officially given up web design and it would seem I’m as good as giving up web design as I am at giving up drinking and I spend Monday night adding PayPal buttons to a site instead of going out drinking and because I’m no good at giving up drinking we rearrange to undertake the GVAPCC on Tuesday instead.  Hurrah.

We get to the Liverpool Street Pitcher & Piano but they have no Bud.  Bollocks.  So armed with my trusty map we navigate our way down to the Fenchurch Street branch where I can see lots and lots of brown bottles with red labels with Budweiser written on them in white writing.  Hurrah.  I give the barman my voucher and he says sorry we’re not accepting the vouchers anymore.  Bollocks.  I say but it doesn’t run out ’til 29 February and he says sorry we’re not accepting them anymore so I say but it doesn’t run out ’til 29 February and he says sorry we’re not accepting them anymore and I say but it doesn’t run out ’til 29 February and he says company policy, or some such bollocks like that.  Grr.  So we go to another pub and get a bottle of wine and decide to give up on the GVAPCC and then I go home and I get up not particularly hungover and I do my running commute on the way home which is largely uneventful although it was my quickest commute ever, yay.

Stats:
Distance: 6.22 miles
Time: 1:05:25
Pace: 10:31
Calories: 601
Successful GVAPCCs: 0
Blog posts mostly about running: 0
Music:
Straw
Cardiacs
Manic Street Preachers
Sex Pistols
Devo
Morphine
Harvey Danger
Rollins Band
The Twang

I wake up from my dream about racing in Paris and remember that I need to get up early due to meeting Tracey early so we can undertake the Great Voucher Abuse Pub Crawl Challenge that we devised on Wednesday which if all goes to plan means we will be getting 16 bottles of Bud each for free although I’m thinking that drinking 16 bottles of Bud, free or otherwise, may not be the best plan in the world.

Today’s run is the last long run before the half next Sunday and earlier in the week I’d emailed Bear and said help, the postman stole my entry form for the Brentwood half, so I’m doing Woodford instead but it’s a week earlier and so the end of my training schedule needs changing, what should I do? and he says to do between 6 and 8 miles today and even though my knowledge of numbers is limited I can’t think of any other numbers between 6 and 8 except for 7 so I decide to do 7 miles and I eventually get out of the door which for some strange reason is unlocked, unchained and unlatched and I think bollocks, I could have been murdered in my sleep and I head off and woo hoo, NO PAIN. Result.

I get to the marshes and there’s a sign saying the bridge is closed and I wonder which bridge it is and I’m thinking it must be the bridge where Ben came off his bike and broke his jaw and when I get there it is indeed closed and I think bollocks, I’ll have to go the other way and my brain is not computing this into a 7 mile route as it’s usually my 3 mile route and there’s a man walking towards me and I can’t see a dog and I don’t trust men over the marshes without dogs and he gets nearer and I think yeah, he looks a bit of a nonce and I’m thinking I could do without a bloke who looks a bit of a nonce being in my immediate vicinity just as I’m about to go under the bridge where two girls were raped the year before last but then someone else comes running up the path and I think hurrah, safety in numbers, I probably won’t get murdered now and I go through the bridge and down to the other bridge which I think will take me through to Hackney Marshes without me having to go over the road and it does and a bit further on I look at my Garmin and it tells me I’m about to do my fastest 5k ever ever ever and I’m trying to resist the urge to speed up by telling myself I’m training for a half not trying to get my 5k time down but I can’t stop looking at my Garmin and as it ticks past 3.1 miles it says I’ve done it in 31:44 and I think yay and there’s a girl ahead of me wearing Lycra and her arse is wobbling about and I think I can’t look at that for another 4 miles so I speed up and overtake her and then there’s a girl running alongside the river who’s not wearing a sports bra and I think ouch and I think why are there so many girls running today, where are all the fit blokes? and I get back to Walthamstow Marshes and I’m looking at my Garmin and wondering if I’m going to do my fastest ever 10k and once again I try and remind myself I’m training for a half and I’m supposed to be doing a long slow run not a fastest ever long run and I get to 10k and I seem to have shaved 3 minutes off my previous fastest time and I think woo hoo, maybe there’s something in eating before running after all and I get home and it feels weird to have only done 7 miles and I open the post and things certainly do come in threes as the postman has brought me my race numbers for the Roding Valley half, the Orion 15 and the Hearts First Jog, hurrah.

Today’s route

Stats:
Distance: 7.07 miles
Time: 1:12:30
Pace: 10:15 m/m
Calories: 664
Girls with wobbling arses: 1
Girls not wearing a sports bra: 1
Fit blokes: 0
Fastest ever 5ks: 1
Fastest ever 10ks: 1
Race numbers: 3
Music:
Courtney Love
Plain White T’s
David Bowie
Graham Coxon
Scissor Sisters
The Strokes
Black Wire
Charlotte Hatherley
The Dude

I am tempted away from going to my personal trainer open evening by an offer of wine and pizza so this morning I get up not very bright and not very breezy after four hours’ sleep and think oh shit I’ve got to do a running commute tonight and before I leave for work I email the organisers of the Brentwood half as I haven’t got my number yet and I’ve heard from others that they have so I ask them if they’ve all been sent out and if so, can they check I’m entered and I keep checking my email and I get a reply from the organiser who says that they have no record of my entry. Fuck. But I’m sure the cheque has been cashed and will have to check on the cheque situation when I get home but in the meantime I decide to enter the Woodford half instead which is on 2 March. As in A WEEK ON SUNDAY. Oh my god. It’s only a week before Brentwood but I’ve been following my training schedule diligently which finishes on race day which is 9 March not 2 March and it also means I’m going to have to drop out of the Heathside 5 but I must be destined not to do the Brentwood half as first I had problems entering online and now my postal entry has been stolen by a postman with a half-marathon postal entry form fetish. Just my luck.

And while I’m at work muttering “bastard half-marathon postal entry form fetishistic postmen” a lot, an email comes through from HR asking if anyone’s interested in getting corporate gym membership and I think hell yeah, and I email Kate and say woo hoo, I’m getting free or cheap gym membership although I really really don’t want work people in the gym when I’m there and she emails back and says yes, I wouldn’t want to have to make polite chit chat first thing in the morning and I email back and say yes and apart from that, I really really don’t want to see people I work with naked, seeing work people with no clothes on is JUST PLAIN WRONG. Very very wrong indeed.

5:00 eventually comes around and I go to get changed and go to do my running commute and my right knee and left shin are niggling a bit and I think why niggle now? you’ve been fine for two days and I’m hoping they don’t get any worse and my running commute is uneventful apart from nearly getting run over by a motorbike when I lose concentration due to turning up my iPod to an ear-bleeding volume when David Bowie starts asking is there life on Mars and when I get home my right knee and left shin are no more painful than when I started out and I think yay and I check out the chequebook situation and the chequebook is new and the first used cheque is dated after I would have sent off my Brentwood entry and I think shit I can guarantee I would have thrown away the stubs from the old chequebook and so I go online to check my bank statements but the website is down.

I am jinxed.

Oh and Phil aka sorelimbs is back in blogland, hurrah. Go and check him out.

Stats:
Distance: 6.31 miles
Time: 1:10:12
Pace: 11:07 m/m
Calories: 593
Changes in half-marathons: 1
Postmen with a half-marathon postal entry fetish: 1
Motorbikes nearly running me over: 1
Music:
Courtney Love
Plain White T’s
David Bowie
Faith No More
Graham Coxon
Scissor Sisters
The Strokes
Black Wire
Charlotte Hatherley
Elliot Smith

I am woken up from my dream about being in New York by a text message saying have a good run and I think oh, it must be Saturday and I’m wondering if my right knee and my left shin are up to it as I’ve been resting since having to bail out of Tuesday’s running commute (which was actually two-thirds and not three-quarters so maybe after my creative writing course has finished I should do one in basic mathematics) and I haven’t even been to the gym and I am feeling like a fat lardy cow due to having been out drinking and eating pizza again this week and yesterday’s overconsumption comprised of having two lunches and troughing a whole malt loaf in one go and staying up late watching telly and drinking wine and eating chocolate and crisps in between icing my knee and applying voltarol to it and so I’m hoping I’m up to a 12 miler as per my schedule and I take control of my iPod and choose what it’s going to play instead of letting it randomly choose for me like when I’m cooking dinner and pretending to be a domestic goddess whilst trying to retain an air of cool sophistication when a six minute long Grease mega-mix comes on and any illusions of street cred I may have once thought I ever had rapidly disappear and I’m scared to go out in case it hurts but I eventually get out the door and head off and I think hmm, it’s a bit ouchy, and I reassess how I run and I realise I run very flatfootedly and if I put my heel down first it cushions the impact a bit and my shin hurts less and I think I will take it easy and go slowly and see how it is and after a mile I get to my favourite bridge and I stretch a bit and I get to the pub by the river and I look under the bridge to see where it leads from and I think I know where and I decide I will try that way next week and I get round Hackney Marshes ok without my leg falling off and I’m going over the boardwalk in Walthamstow Marshes when twins pass me and they must be in their 60s and they have an identical hairstyle and are dressed identically in the same scarf, coat and shoes and I think oh my god, they must have been like that their entire lives and will probably die after never having had their own identity and then I think I see the cows but realise they’re dogs and I think I seriously need glasses and I remember I’m going to go and buy some on Wednesday and Tracey’s coming with me to tell me how crap I look as glasses don’t suit me ever ever ever and then we’re going to drink free Budweiser and on Thursday I’m going out for beer and pancakes for Gary’s birthday and then I’m giving up drinking as I need to reassess my drinking habits and get fit and do a course in sports nutrition and I’m pretty sure drinking doesn’t feature very high in sports nutrition and I get to Tottenham Marshes and I think shall I stop off at the shop and buy a flapjack as I haven’t made any bread and I’m starving and I won’t be able to have any toast and I decide to carry on as I’m not thirsty and don’t really need to stop as I feel fine and anyway my half’s in three weeks so I only have today’s long run and next weekend’s to train and there will be no stopping to buy flapjacks in Brentwood and so I ignore the pictures of the ice cream at the shop and carry on and get up to the bridge at the end of the marshes and come back down the other side of the river and two people on a tandem go past me and I get to ten miles and I’m feeling a bit tired and I think only two miles to go and I get to eleven miles and I’m feeling a bit feeble but there’s only a mile left and I get home and my race number for the London Heathside 5 in two weeks is there, hurrah.

Stats:
Distance: 12:36 miles
Time: 2:17:54
Pace: 11:09 m/m
Calories: 1,107
Old lady twins: 2
Tandems: 1
Stopping at shops to buy flapjacks: 0
Race numbers: 1
Music:
Courtney Love
Plain White T’s
Faith No More
Graham Coxon
Scissor Sisters
The Dude
The Strokes
Black Wire
Charlotte Hatherley
Elliot Smith
Divide & Kreate

Due to having plans to go out on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, I bunk off the SAS in favour of a running commute so I can get home early and do exciting stuff like wash my hair and do my washing and I get to work knackered due to me having had too much sleep after sleeping solidly for 10 hours instead of 10 minutes for a change and I don’t get to go out at lunchtime as I have to go to a meeting and I think what the fuck? how nice of them to arrange that when I want to go out for a walk so I can loosen up a bit before my running commute and by the time I get to go home I’m stiff after having been sitting down for eight hours and as I start to run my shins hurt and I think ouch and then my knee starts hurting and I think oh shit that doesn’t feel right at all and I think I’m going to have to get on the train at Hackney Downs but I decide to continue but when I get to four miles my knee is hurting so much and I force myself to stop and to walk the last two miles home and I’m hoping my knee isn’t properly injured and when I get home there’s a man outside my house on the street and there’s another man talking to the  man next door and I’m hoping they’re not Jehovah’s Witnesses or something as I won’t be able to pretend I’m not in due to them having just seen me go in my house unless they’re blind which they’re probably not and when I go through my front door there’s a leaflet advertising a gospel concert and a second later I hear someone come through my gate and I think oh shit, I don’t want to talk to them, I want my dinner and then my doorbell rings and I think what’s more important, being polite to Christians or getting my dinner? so I go to put the oven on and have spicy bean lasagne, yay.

Stats:
Distance: 6.01 miles
Time: 1:16:56
Pace: 12:47 m/m
Calories: 522
Knees hurting: 1
Christians ignored: 2

I wake up early to the smell of freshly baked bread and I need to get out early this morning due to Kate coming round to see my not new anymore bathroom and I’ve promised to clean it in her honour as I’ve only cleaned it once since I’ve had it in a I’m a lazy slob kind of way and I think I need to hire a cleaner as housework hasn’t been high up on my agenda for a long time now and even my kitchen is in a state and I still like my kitchen even though it’s four years old now I think and I’m going to do my first 12 miler today and I’m looking at what’s on my iPod and I think it needs updating as the songs on it aren’t really doing it for me but I decide it’ll take too long and I need to get out and the only top I’ve got to wear is the fluorescent yellow one and I think I’m going to roast in that and it looks warm and sunny outside and I open the front door and I hesitate as I think I’ve forgotten something but I haven’t forgotten anything and then I have the urge to take some money with me and I hope it’s not a premonition that I’m going to get injured and have to get a cab home as I’ve never taken money out with me before and I shove a fiver in my pocket and leave the house and just as I get out of my gate my nice old lady next door neighbour comes out of her house and I say hello and she says hello how are you? and I say fine thanks and I don’t stop and chat but carry on going and feel guilty but it’s perfectly feasible that she will keep me standing there chatting for half an hour while I stand there nodding and smiling politely and I really need to get on with my run and I hope she’s not too offended and I get into my run and panic sets in as I think did I turn my Garmin on? and I look at it and it’s ticking away nicely and I think thank fuck for that and I’m going really really slowly as I’m really really tired and I’m also really really hungry and I wonder if I’m ever going to stop being hungry as all I’ve done this week is eat and eat and eat and not always very healthy choices either; in fact, I’ve eaten a hell of a lot of crap this week but never mind and I get past the marina and over the bridge and I overtake a man running and I feel bad and I wonder why I feel bad overtaking people and I decide it’s probably because I’m usually at the back at races and don’t get much practice in overtaking people due to me usually being the overtakee and not the overtaker and then I’m at the pub by the river and I go down the stairs and the man I overtook comes under the bridge and I think how did he get here by that way and I think I need to investigate but not now and my knee’s twingeing and I think oh shit that doesn’t feel good, maybe I should go home and I get to the bridge and do some stretching and carry on and it feels a bit better and I’m hoping I’m not going to have to follow the man the whole way round the marshes but he turns off into Millfields and I go into the marshes and I remember the 10k that’s being held there in May and I’m wondering if I want to do three laps of the field and I decide probably not especially as a lot of it will be on grass and I don’t like running on grass and I’m wondering if I want to pay to do 10k where I run every Saturday anyway and I decide probably not and I’m wondering if it’s really cheeky just to turn up and run with the people at the race anyway without paying and I decide it probably is.

I get to four miles and I’m feeling slightly less knackered and think I can carry on and my knee’s stopped hurting which I take as a good sign and I’m going really really slowly and I think this 12 miles is going to take a very long time and I do my slowest ever 10k and I think oh my god I’ve got to do that distance again and I’m wondering if I can do it and I think it doesn’t matter if I can or I can’t as I’m going to do it anyway and I get to seven miles and think only five miles left, that’s ok and I get to Tottenham Marshes and and I’ve got four miles left and I don’t think I can do another four miles and I’m wondering why five miles seemed ok but four miles doesn’t and I think I’m going to have to walk but I don’t want to fail on my first ever 12 miler and then I remember I brought some money out and there’s a shop by the bridge and I think I’ll stop and get some water or something and then I see a sign for the shop and it says it sells tea, coffee and soft drinks and there’s also a Walls ice cream sign and I really fancy some ice cream and I wonder if a chocolate bar would perk me up and I think that is really greedy and I stop at the shop and I get some orange Lucozade as that’s supposed to give you energy innit and on the counter are cakes and flapjacks and I think I REALLY WANT A CAKE but I resist the I really want a cake urge and just get my Lucozade and try to forget it’s made by Glaxo Smithkline and the friendly man behind the counter says that’s one whole pound please so I give him my whole fiver and he gives me four whole pounds back and I say thank you, bye and I go outside and drink some Lucozade and it goes straight to my head and my vision is blurry and I carry on and I think the Lucozade is doing its job and I get to the bridge at the top of the marshes and I’ve got three miles left and I think three miles is nothing and then I’ve got half a mile of marshes left and the sky is a clear blue and the sun is reflecting on the river and Janis Joplin is screeching something and there’s a refreshing breeze and I think I’m going to make it after all and then I’m back on the the street with a mile and a half to go and I think yay, I’m not going to fail my first 12 miler and I get home and fall into some hot chocolate and toast made with freshly baked bread and I am absolutely shattered.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 12.14 miles
Time: 2:20:19
Pace: 11:33 m/m
Calories: 1,142
Overtakees: 1
Lucozades: 1
I want a cake urges: 1
Music
The Young Knives
Hole
The Who
The Kooks
The Smiths
Graham Coxon
Ash
Devo
Ween
Subhumans
Cribs
Janis Joplin
Citizen Fish
Cardiacs
Buzzcocks
The Doors

After this week’s festival of gluttony which saw me out most nights partaking in some over consumption of pizza, pancakes, beer and wine, not to mention the mega munchies I had every day which rendered me powerless to resist the lure of the crisps and chocolate in Sainsburys and the corner shop, although I am so tired this morning I forget to take my breakfast and lunch to work with me, I do however commit to my running schedule and take my running gear with me and after a discussion about whether when you have beans and cheese on toast should the cheese go on top or underneath the beans (on top obviously) I sneak out of work early and head off home and I wait at the bus stop in a pretending to wait for the bus kind of way and wait for my Garmin to get a signal but as usual it’s taking ages and a cute bloke comes to the bus stop and I think well at least I’ve got something to look at while I’m waiting but before he’s even sat down my Garmin springs into action and I think bloody typical.

All is pretty much uneventful until I’m about a third of the way down Essex Road when a red light appears on the pavement in front of me and follows me down the road, in a in front of me kind of way and I think WHAT THE FUCK?  what’s that?  is someone pointing a laser at me and I’m going to get shot or something? but I don’t want to turn round and see where it’s coming from and the red light eventually goes and I don’t get shot and I get further down the street and have to stop for traffic and something hits my foot and it’s a little red plastic strawberry shaped thing and I think why are little red things following me down the road and I think things come in threes, what’s the next little red thing going to be?  but there doesn’t appear to be any more little red things and the rest of the journey is pretty uneventful and red-thing-less although I’m very tired and I’m wondering if maybe I should jump on the train half way at Hackney Downs and I think no I can’t, there won’t be a Hackney Downs station half way round my half marathon and probably not one in the 15 mile cross country race I’ve entered three weeks after that either so I carry on and I don’t get murdered on Murder Mile so I can’t use that as an excuse for not running with the SAS on Tuesday and I don’t stop at Somerfield to buy wine as I already have half a bottle at home and then I’m home and it’s the weekend and the festival of gluttony continues, hurrah.

Stats:
Distance: 6.42 miles
Time: 1:18:21
Pace: 12:12
Calories: 592
Red things: 2
Festivals of gluttony: 1
Music:
Kate Nash
The Killers
Boomtown Rats
Haircut 100
Arctic Monkeys
Ash
Belle & Sebastian
Devo
The Bravery
The Brian Jonestown Massacre
Cardiacs
Citizen Fish
The Damned
Foo Fighters
Franz Ferdinand
Kasabian
The Kooks
Manic Street Preachers

After much procrastination about whether or not to run with the SAS tonight due to me having had a sore throat girlflu stylee since Sunday and also my legs have been aching since Sunday due to them not having had the two days miraculous recovery time from that long weekend run thing, I eventually say ok I’m coming running with the Swans and we make a list and everything geek stylee and by the end of the day only one person has dropped out and miraculously that person wasn’t me and I went down to Hyde Park and met up with Alec, Francesca and Angela and we decided that me and Angela would do a slow half lap as I wasn’t really up to much and Alec and Francesca could go off and be speedy types and we’d see them next week.

We set off and Angela asks me if I know the way and I say yes of course I do, I’ve done this five times now but even though I’m trying my hardest to put on my convincing face, she looks unconvinced but I do find the posh private road to run down and not just because everyone else seemed to be running down there and then we get to her short cut and we get back to the street and she says how far have we done and I say 3.42 miles and she says shall we extend it? and I say errrrrr, if you want to and she says yes and I call her a slavedriver and we eventually make it to the pub and we’ve done 4.66 miles which isn’t far short of the usual 5 anyway and I exercise some moderation and only have three bottles of Bud instead of three bottles of wine and I make it to the tube sober and to the train station and I’ve missed my train by 32 seconds which pisses me off but then the train flashes onto the board and I think hurrah, it must still be there and I go to the platform just to see it disappear down the platform in a Bullseye “look what you would have won” stylee and I think gits, why did they put on the platform a train that’s left but another train comes 15 minutes later and I think this must be the first time in a long time that I’ve remembered getting home. Yay.

Stats:
Distance: 4.66 miles
Time: 57:00
Pace: 12:14
Calories: 428
Bottles of Bud: 3

More stats and pic of route here

Due to people turning up on my doorstep at 2am and making me stay up all night drinking, I spend Saturday morning in bed then go for a fry up at the local greasy spoon instead of training in a I’m a fat lazy slob kind of way, then spend the rest of the day feeling guilty like it really matters and then I go out and drink too much unlike Jo who very impressively only has one and a bit glasses of wine and I also eat too much and I think there’s no way I’ll be out running tomorrow and this morning I’m woken by my alarm and I think oh no I don’t want to go to work today and then I think hang on a minute, isn’t it Sunday today? and I think yes I’m sure it’s Sunday as I’m sure yesterday was Saturday so unless I slept for 24 hours it must be Sunday and I think why the fuck did I set my alarm then? and I get up and turn the alarm off and go back to bed and I wake up a few hours later and think I’m not going running and then I think well maybe I’ll just do three miles, it’ll only take half an hour and I’ll still have time to go to the supermarket and I’m wondering if I can be bothered to even do three miles but then I’m getting told off in text messages and on facebook for not training and I think ok ok I’m going to do three miles and I leave my house and just as I start off an old lady stops and says something I can’t hear due to the singer of the Wombats telling me Christmas has come early for him but I think she says ooh, you’re brave and I think why am I brave? and I get over the footbridge and up to the stables and I think maybe I’ll go round Hackney Marshes and do more than three miles after all and I think I haven’t got my alarm on me though and you shouldn’t really go to Hackney without an alarm and a gun and a big dog but I decide to throw caution to the wind and risk getting murdered or harpooned or something and I get round the marshes without getting murdered and then I’m back to the relative safety of Walthamstow marshes and I’ve done five miles and I think shall I head off home now or carry on? and I decide to carry on and then I’ve done 10k in my quickest time ever and I think yay and I decide to carry on past the marina and I get to seven miles and I think maybe I should do the full 11 miles and I’m wondering if I can manage another four miles and I think I probably can and I go into Tottenham Marshes and carry on past the bridge where the race last year started and I get to the point in the race where my leg started hurting and Bum Crack Girl overtook me and I think I remember there being a bridge up the top and I think I’m going to go up to the bridge then come back down and I’m carrying on going and I still can’t see a bridge but I can see Ikea which means I’ve run to Edmonton and I still can’t see a bridge but then the bridge eventually appears and I run back down and I’m back on the street with about two miles to go and a car stops and asks me directions for a street I’ve never heard of and I’m tired now and I think maybe I’ll walk for a bit but I keep running and I think I’ll walk for a bit when I get to the tube but I run past the tube station and keep going ’til I get home and my three miles has somehow turned into eleven, yay for me.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 11.01 miles
Time: 2:02:31
Pace: 11.07 m/m
Calories: 1,035
Ikeas: 1
3 miles turning into 11: 1
Music
The Wombats
The Like
Bobby Conn
The Killers
Hole