JogBlog running blog

I slacked last week.  I slacked and slacked and slacked and then I slacked some more.  In fact I slacked so much I even decided not to do my usual long(ish) Saturday run, preferring instead to lie in and then dye my hair and make a necklace.

So this week I decided to unslack myself and do my running-home-from-work-thing which I can no longer call a running commute.  Because it isn’t one.  Trivia time, feel free to skip this bit:  A commutation ticket was the American name for a season ticket.  The word “commuter” replaced “season ticket holder” in the 1950s and by 1960, it was so popular that it was confusingly used to cover anyone travelling to and from work.  (Thank you “Queuing for Beginners” by Joe Moran for this information).  So, because I’m such a pedant, I can no longer call it a running commute.  Just as well a running-home-from-work-thing is just as catchy.

Still, off I go on my running-home-from-work-thing and I decide to walk until my Garmin gets a signal which is just as I get to the only hill in Central London; who thought it was a good idea to put a hill in Farringdon?  And I run up the hill and get round the corner and my knees are stiff and I think uh oh, this is going to be difficult, maybe I should have gone out for a walk at lunchtime instead of reading about the history of the desk and queuing and I get to Angel which is as usual full of people annoying me by trying to give me a free newspaper or leaflets about Salsa lessons or whatever it was the people in yellow were trying to give me or idiots not looking where they’re going because they’re texting or lighting cigarettes and I wonder how many more times I’m going to call someone a prick on my way home and I think it’s probably a habit I should get out of before I get to Hackney because that could have some serious repercussions and as I’m going down Essex Road there’s a man in front of me reading the paper and I can see the headline and it says CYCLISTS V LORRIES: DEBATE or something like that and I think what about PEDESTRIANS V CYCLISTS?  Are we supposed to be feeling sorry for cyclists? and I think I would have more sympathy for the squished cyclists if they stopped trying to squish pedestrians and I manage to make it to the end of Essex Road without walking and I’m wondering if I can make it to the end of Balls Pond Road and way hey I do and I think uh oh, round the corner is where I always always always want to - and usually do - stop.  But I carry on round the where I usually stop bit and go past the smelly shop and over the zebra and then Haircut 100 comes on and I think shit, will I have to admit to that on my blog? and I get past Hackney Downs station and I still haven’t stopped to walk and then I get to the steep bit and I think uh oh, it’s a steep bit then I think it’s just psychological, I can walk up hills really slowly climb up mountains, just get on with it and I do just get on with it and then I get to the flat bit and I think almost at Murder Mile, not far to go now and just as I’m approaching Murder Mile a man is smiling at me and saying something but I can’t hear what he’s saying and although he looks friendly enough I’d really rather people didn’t approach me on Murder Mile and then I’m going down the road that has half of the pavement as a cycle lane and a cyclist comes from behind and I watch him to make sure he doesn’t veer off over the white line and onto the people bit of pavement but he doesn’t and then I’m going up the path and before I get there a cyclist goes in and I think wait for me,  you can save me from any psychopaths but he’s too quick and has gone and I wonder if there’s anyone working in the factories and how loud can I scream and I think probably not very loud if I get a knife stuck in my throat, I’d probably just gurgle a bit and I wonder how loud I can gurgle and then I think I shouldn’t be thinking things like that and stop being paranoid anyway and then as I’m going round the corner someone comes up from behind me and I jump but it’s only a cyclist and I don’t have to practice my gurgling skills and then I’m home and I’ve run the whole way home without walking for the first time in about a year.  Yay.

Splits

Stats:
Distance: 6.18 miles
Time: 1:12:28
Pace: 11:44
Calories: 610
Music:
Black Kids
MGMT
Haircut 100
Dexys Midnight Runners
Radiohead
Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster
Ian Brown
Panic At The Disco
Seahorses
The Police
Blondie

After having the best sleep ever on Thursday, this morning I wake at 4 and can’t get back to sleep and I lie there restless and eventually get up and I think today I’ve got to do 8 miles but I’m knackered and I want to go back to bed and I think maybe a run will wake me up and I get out the door and as I’m closing it a BIG spider comes down hanging on its web and stops at eye level and I think aaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh go away spider, I don’t like spiders but I manage not to scream in a girly way and the spider goes all the way down onto the floor and I lock the door and set off for my 8 miles and although it’s a lovely sunny day it’s cold and my arms and hands and feet are numb and when I get to the marshes two runners come out not looking cold or tired or anything and I think ah well, I’ll warm up soon and then there’s two people blocking the path with buggies and my maternal instinct comes out and I inwardly curse the stupid people with their stupid babies taking up all the path and I go around them and I’m not even at the marina and I want to stop and I think come on, just get up to four miles then I’ll warm up and it’ll be ok and I walk over the bridge and walk up the hill in the park and start to run again on the flat bit but I’m really flagging and I’m thinking bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks, I’ve a) got a half marathon in three weeks; and b) I want to lose a stone and walking isn’t going to help with either and I go over the bridge and there’s a woman walking along and she looks like she’s going to move over a bit but then she moves back and then she moves back again and I’m thinking JUST DECIDE WHICH WAY YOU’RE GOING, I DON’T CARE WHICH WAY IT IS JUST FUCKING DECIDE and she stays in the same place for more than three seconds and I move out of her way and I’ve stopped to walk again and I look at my Garmin and it says I’ve done 2.4 miles and I think bollocks, there’s no way I can do eight miles today, I think I’m going to have to pack it in and go home and so I decide to walk home and there’s rabbit poo all along the path for about a mile and I think how come there’s so much bunny poo but I never see any bunnies over here and then I’m home and it’s still early and I’m wondering what to do all day and I think I will do the tax return that has been sitting here for months and months and months.  Woo hoo.

Stats:
Distance: 4.26 miles
Time: 57:42
Pace: 13:33
Calories: 374
Big spiders: 1
Stupid babies in my way: 2
Women unable to decide which way to go: 1
Rabbit poo: lots
8 milers successfully completed: 0
Music:
Faith No More
Black Kids
The Killers
Kaiser Chiefs
Scissor Sisters

I’m undertaking another of my I’m-giving-up-something-for-a-month challenges and this month’s challenge is not to drink any alcohol or eat anything nice such as crisps, chocolate, cakes or pizza.  Gasp.  Although this is a lightweight challenge as Saturdays and the occasional Wednesday are excluded, as suggested by Shaun who although he said I should have something to look forward to, I think he probably meant that I’d be a miserable cow without drinking and eating pizza and he’d have to put up with me.  Hmm.

Still, day one of not drinking any alcohol or eating pizza, crisps, chocolate or cakes went without a hitch yesterday and I sat at home thoroughly enjoying my glass of water and not missing pizza at all and I had an early night and got up bright and early to start my half marathon training.  Which is in four weeks.  Oops.

I get to Springfield Park and wonder if I can run up the hill and I think of course I can, I can walk up mountains and so I run up the hill and stop after about two feet and walk the rest of the steep bit.  Wimp.  At the top of the hill is a man on a bench and I wonder if I should be scared and then I decide he’s just a man on a bench and therefore there’s no reason to be scared and I go round the park and go along the towpath by the houses so I’m not tempted to stop and look at the cows as today is going to be a serious training run day without any of that stopping for cow based photo emergencies thing and as I’m going alongside the river past the sex change pub three cyclists come along side by side and I think are you going to go single file or what and let me get through? and they don’t, they stay side by side and I have to go onto the verge close to the river but I manage not to fall into the river and they go past me and don’t bother saying thank you and I think next time a cyclist comes along I’m not going to get out of their way and they can fall into the river and two more cyclists come along and they do go single file and no one has to fall into the river and I’m wondering why the same four songs keep playing on my iPod and then I realise that when I downloaded the latest version of iTunes it stopped my Shuffle from updating and I think bollocks, I’ve got another four miles to go and only four songs and not even good songs, bollocks and I wonder if it’s possible to get repetitive song injury and I get to the edge of the marshes and there’s a couple of kids hanging around by the gate and I wonder if I should be scared and I realise they’re about seven years old and I think no, I’m not scared of seven year olds and then I think they can’t be seven, are seven year olds allowed out on their own? and I think probably not and I wonder how old I was before I was allowed out on my own and I think it was probably about 28 and I get to the car park and there’s a police van leaving and I think don’t leave, stay here and protect me in the foresty bit but the police van drives off and I go through the foresty bit and out towards the bridge and two runners overtake me and they’re talking and I’m thinking shut up, I don’t want to hear people talking and the council have been to collect the skipfull load of rubbish that someone dumped over there last weekend and it’s all clean again and I run up the steep bit and get to the stables and I think it’s going to be less than seven miles when I get home and I get home and I’ve only done 6.6 miles and I think will that do? and I think no it won’t do, I have to do seven miles and so I do a lap of the park and then I’ve done 7 miles for the first time in a long, long time.

Splits

Stats:
Distance: 7.2 miles
Time: 1:18:57
Pace: 10:58 minute/mile
Calories: 713
Music:
Belle & Sebastian
Janes Addiction
Bikini Kill
Duran Duran

I have been berated for not blogging Tuesday’s running commute.  This, as I keep pointing out, is BECAUSE I WALKED ALMOST ALL OF IT.  It can not be classed as a run.  Oh no.  I’ve checked the splits and every mile is just over walking pace.  So if, as I have been told, not blogging a run is against the law, then I am still the respectable, law-abiding citizen I always was.  Hurrah.

Stats:
Distance: 5.8 miles
Time: 1:25:41
Pace: 14:46
Calories: 420
Running commutes run: 0
Laws broken: 0

I survived the Three Peaks Challenge, only falling over on Ben Nevis four times and Scafell Pike six times but I’ll blog about that some other time, and today I get up bright and early to go for my long run as I’ve got a half marathon in five weeks and I’ve only done about five minutes training, oops, and after I get up bright and early I go back to bed and get up about 9ish and get out the door about 10ish and I have to go and investigate the new cows that I’ve seen from the train, three smaller black ones, although I’ve gone off cows a bit now and sheep are the new cows, especially pretty Cumbrian ones

which, sorry Mr Sorelimbs, are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay prettier than your Welsh sheep, although Welsh sheep are prettier than the ugly Kent sheep although the Kent sheep don’t mind their photos being taken, unlike the camera shy Welsh sheep and I go over the boardwalk and there’s a cyclist cycling towards me and he hasn’t dismounted like he’s supposed to and I think well, I’m not getting out of your way, I’m allowed to run along here and he’s started to wobble and I think ha ha, hope you fall off but he doesn’t fall off and he frowns as he wobbles past me and I go and see the new black cows

and now there’s eight cows over the marshes which is two more than last year and last year had two more than the year before that so maybe there’ll be ten cows next year, hurrah.

And I’m going through the filterbeds and stopping to walk as I’m a lightweight even if I did just walk up and down three mountains and Sleeper comes on my iPod and I think hurrah 90s indie, my favourite and I start to run again and after it’s finished I start to walk again and I look behind me and there’s a fat man with a walking stick behind me and I stop to take a photo of the river which appears to consist only of green sludge

and Fat Man with Walking Stick says something and I take my headphones out and he says he’s never seen the river so dirty and I say no, me neither, I was wondering if the duck was standing on a log or just on the green sludge and he says it was standing on a leaf and I say oh and he says do you run every day? and I say no, not every day and he says you should, I walk every day and I say um, I run three times a week, and I’m wondering why I feel the need to justify myself to a Fat Man with a Walking Stick and I’m thinking well I just went up and down three mountains and I bet you haven’t and he says he comes here every year and I say to Hackney? and he says no, he lives in Spain and I put my headphones back and and say bye and run off and go round the football field and I get to the path in the foresty bit and one of the footballers comes over and sits on the path to do his laces up and I think I don’t want anyone joining me in the foresty bit and I’m trying to decide whether to be scared or not and I’m wondering why he chose the path to do his laces up, he could have done that on the field and I’m wondering if he can run in studs and if he’s going to run after me and murder me and I decide he probably isn’t and he’s probably just doing his laces up and I carry on and then I’m walking again and then Sleeper comes on again and I think hurrah, 90s indie, my favourite and I run again and I get to the steep bit and because I’m hardcore and can walk up and down mountains, I run up the steep bit and then I get home after running for the first time in nearly three weeks.

Stats
Distance: 6.53 miles
Time: 1:23:09
Pace: 12:44
Calories: 561
New cows: 3
Total cows: 8
Frowning cyclists wobbling on the boardwalk: 1
Fat men with walking sticks: 1
Rivers made of green sludge: 1
Mountains climbed: 3
Music:
Jimi Hendrix
Hole
The Gossip
Buzzcocks
Cardiacs
Mark Ronson
Sonic Youth
Stereo Total
Franz Ferdinand
Foo Fighters
Sleeper
Blondie