Cold Tofurkey
11 12 2008I decided I was spending too much time on Facebook, so took the drastic decision to deactivate my account, just for a little while you understand, not forever, just in a I-like-to-piss-myself-off-now-and-again-by-abstaining-from-the-things-I-enjoy-the-most kind of way and so at around 10pm last night, I deactivated my account and this morning I woke up really early and thought what shall I do? I know, I can spend lots of time on Facebook before I go to work, hurrah, and then remembered that bah, no, I can’t, I deactivated my account, maybe I’ll go for a run instead and then I thought na, it’s too cold, maybe I’ll get up and read or do some writing but then I fell back asleep and woke up with only the time to do the usual morning stuff minus the stalking-people-on-Facebook things and when I got to work I was missing Facebook so much, I decided to make my own paper-based Facebook and wrote down what I would have updated my Facebook status with. Here are the results:
(Imagine each one preceded by “Cathy is” [anyone even THINKING the word "sad" at this point is going to be in big trouble].)
- missing Facebook (at 09:30)
- the owner of the Roots 30th Anniversary Edition DVD box set (09:47)
- eating an apple: (10:36)
- writing down the things she would have posted on Facebook (10:47)
- cancelling her mobile internet subscription (11:02)
- missing Facebook (11:20)
- wondering what everyone’s doing on Facebook (11:21)
- wondering if ginger people should wear tight green jeans (11:25)
- wondering if Sainsburys are going to give her a free box of chocolates again this year (11:37)
- wondering if she will be able to resist the urge to re-activate her Facebook account tonight (12:36)
- wondering if Shaun’s on drugs (14:00)
- going to resist eating any more chocolate brownies (14:27)
- wondering if going Facebook cold turkey for a week involves not logging on tonight to let everyone know she’s going cold turkey for a week (14:54)
- going to ignore the fact there’s food in the boardroom (14:54)
- ignoring the cream cakes (14:56)
- wondering how she got chosen as a guru (15:30)
- wondering what to give up for a month next (15:40)
- wondering whether to meet Gary in a bar instead of outside the cheese shop (16:00)
- happy that she at least has webmail even if she has no Facebook (16:19)
- going to meet Gary outside the cheese shop (16:59)
- looking at the www.pizzamaniac.com website (17:00)
- wondering why people put make up on to go home (17:10)
- wondering why, if Stella is so reassuringly expensive, is Tescos selling 8 cans for £4?
Now that I’ve written this, I’m wondering how “eating a banana” got left off somewhere between ignoring the cream cakes and being a guru. Surely that was an important part of the day?
Stats:
Online Facebooks: 0
Paper-based Facebooks: 1
Bananas forgotten about inbetween ignoring cream cakes and being a guru: 1
No related posts.
Just in at number 11 owing to weirdness, eh? Mmmm. Something needs adjustment. Just don’t abstain from your boyfriend to piss yourself off though, eh?
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God, would you really have posted this many status updates? You do know about Twitter don’t you? I can’t get enough of it.
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I signed up to Twitter last year but didn’t see the point of it. I never used to see the point of Facebook either though, so will re-investigate it!
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8 cans for £4 – that’s a bloody good bargain! Thankfully my local Woolworths is being converted to a Tesco, I hope they get on with it.
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Ooh, I wonder if my local Woolworths will be converted into a Tesco. Not that I want to buy 8 cans of Stella though.
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