JogBlog running blog

After subtly hinting to the nice lady at Marketing Zone that I quite fancied trying out some Polaroid polarized sunglasses that she recommended, she quickly threw on some bling, put on a dodgy tracksuit, lit a cigar, changed her name to Jim’ll and fixed it for me to have some nice new sunglasses to try out.

It’s taken me a while to get round to trying them as a) I fell down a rabbit hole and hurt my ankle; b) there’s been no sun; and c) I forgot, but today as I woke up with the sun streaming through the curtains I thought today will be the day to try them out.

I’m not really a sunglasses wearing person as I look stupid in them.  I actually think everyone looks stupid in sunglasses but being from London automatically makes me waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cooler than anyone else round here so I think I can get away with it.

Here’s the case they come in

and here they are in the case

My able assistant offers to take my photo and I say ok but hang on, I’ve just got up, let me brush my hair first and he says no, you’re going running, you don’t need to brush your hair so here’s a scruffy photo of me.

So I take myself and my new sunglasses out for a run and they’re very light and don’t move at all and I get round the corner and there’s a big tractor thing coming down the road and I stop to let it pass and then it stops and I think why has the big tractor thing stopped? and I look up and the nice man is waving me past and probably thinking what are you doing you stupid townie? and I smile and say thank you and walk past and carry on running and trying to remember the way I’m supposed to be going as it’s a new route and a route which avoids the bad road with the bends and rabbit holes and there’s a man coming along pushing a buggy and as I get closer I realise it’s not a buggy but a wheelbarrow and I wonder why he’s pushing his baby along in a wheelbarrow and maybe he grew it along with some potatoes or something and it’s a nice sunny day and obviously I haven’t got the sun in my eyes as I’m wearing my new supercool sunglasses and they don’t make everything dark and I keep forgetting I’m wearing them and then I turn off and hope I’m going the right way and a coach comes up behind me and I’m not liking these country lanes and why can’t they build some pavements or maybe just cover the whole place in concrete and then I’m on a bit with bends and I thought I was going to avoid any bends and I stop to let a car go past and then four more cars go past and I’m wobbling and shaking so much I have to hold on to a branch to steady myself and stop myself from wobbling into the road and getting squished and I think I must have gone the wrong way but at least this road is smooth and not covered in holes like most of them are and then I SEE COWS and I wish I’d brought my camera as the cows are right up near the fence, so close I could poke them but I decide not to poke them in case cows don’t like being poked and I say goodbye to the cows and carry on and I’m walking most of the time now and not liking these roads and cars and there’s quite a few cars today and they’re all going quickly too and pass me too closely and I want to get home and I think I must have gone the wrong way and I wonder how much of a detour I’ve done and then I see some houses and I realise I’m on the road that will have a pavement in a minute and then I’m on the pavement and I walk up the hill and go home.

Route

Splits

Stats:
Distance: 3.45 miles
Time: 43:07
Pace: 12:08 m/m
Calories: 317
New pairs of sunglasses: 1
Big tractor things: 1
Babies in wheelbarrows: 1
Cows: 9
Cars: lots
Bends: a few
Music:
B52s
Faith No More
Nirvana
Sleeper
Young Knives

As you should know by now, this year’s Juneathon starts on Monday.

The original Juneathon was started by Joggerblogger’s mate Preston, who wanted to get fit for his holiday or something.  His Juneathon lasted two days.  However, the hardcore Mr Joggerblogger carried it on in his absence and rallied up the troops (i.e. the rest of blogland) and now Juneathon is a yearly occurrence with JB at the helm.  Thanks JB.

So, a quick recap of the rules:

• Run or exercise every day
• Blog about it (if you don’t have a blog, join the Facebook group and post your efforts there)
• Visit your fellow Juneathoner’s blogs and leave a comment in support (or call them a slacker)

That’s it.  Easy, huh?

And, in no particular order, here is a roll call of this year’s blogging Juneathoners.

Me
Fit Artist
iliketocount
Seaside Strider
Sore Limbs
The Red Bucket
Running From 30
Emily & Michael
The Big Runner
Runner Susan
Running and Thinking
More To Life Than Weight
Strumming, Running & Drinking
Blobbyjogger
Jo H
Hauling My Carcass
Eating Trees
Running From Myself
Tom Roper
The Virtual Runner
Running Matters
Sound mind, sound body
Travelling Hopefully
The Fat Runner
Top Secret Training Blog
Between the Miles
Run DMT
Running Betty
Hot Mama
Carl’s Get Fit Blog

If I’ve forgotten anyone, let me know.

Good luck, and no slacking!

After sleeping all the way through the night un-wine-induced for the first time since I got here, I decide today I really should start some kind of training, seeing as I’ve got the Crisis Square Mile Run next week and the Staplehurst Carnival ‘n’ Fete 10k in four weeks and although the Crisis run won’t be a problem (especially if we get that 15 minute standing break under London Bridge again this year, not to mention the first half mile being practically at a standstill anyway), I struggle with 10ks at the best of times.  So, even though I was dying to get back out on my SGB again, I put my trainers on and head out for the two mile route and as I get up the road I see an ambulance and an old lady looking at it and I wonder if it’s like hearses and maybe I should slow down out of respect but then I realise it’s just a BT van and the old lady is at a bus stop and the old lady says morning and I think Random Bus Stop Old Lady is very polite and I go round the corner onto the road that’s about two feet wide and an old man on a bicycle comes past and says morning and I think old people are polite round here and then a fly flies into my mouth and I think ick and it’s on the back of my tongue and I think spit or swallow? and I think, I’m vegetarian, I can’t swallow a fly and perhaps I’ll die and so I spit it out although I think spitting is disgusting and if I see anyone spitting I give them a dirty look and call them a dirty peasant and then I can hear a car coming up behind me and so I follow Adele’s advice and stay on the road and let it go around me and it does indeed go around me and I don’t end up splatted on the road with tyre marks over my back and I get to the tree and turn off and there’s roadworks and a sign that says wait when the light shows red but the lights aren’t showing anything and I don’t think they apply to me anyway and then I get to the pavement and turn my iPod up and I’m pretty knackered and not sure I can make it up the hill butI give it a go but get too tired and stop to walk but leave my Garmin on so it can shame me with my stats for being a slacker.

Route

Splits

Stats:
Distance: 2.25 miles
Time: 23:21
Pace: 10.22 m/m
Calories: 199
BT vans pretending to be ambulances: 1
Polite random old ladies at bus stops: 1
Polite old men on bicycles: 1
Flies in mouth: 1
Flies spat out: 1
Red lights: 0
Hills masterfully conquered: 0
Music:
Garbage
Faith No More
Nirvana

I don’t care if my scales say I’m 9st 2, my scales are lying.  Either that or my mirror is as I am turning into a dumpy country thing and I have no intention of being fat and forty, so I think today I will run and then I remember this

is living in the garage, having arrived yesterday and after giving it a test run last night, decided it’s the best bike in the whole world, even though when I was given a pink Raleigh Shopper by my parents when I was about 10, I wasn’t very impressed, as I hankered after a racer like my brothers had and didn’t want to be seen on a stupid girl’s bike and especially a pink stupid girl’s bike with a basket but now I love my stupid girl’s bike and will even buy it a basket especially although I won’t be going so far as to spray it pink. and so I decide to take my stupid girl’s bike out for a couple of miles and then come home, get changed and go out for a run and so I get my SGB out of the garage and venture outside on a bike on my own for the first time in about 30 years and I get to the tree a mile away and I think I don’t want to go back yet, I want to go further and maybe I can do the 7 mile loop I looked at on gmaps but it was ages ago I looked on gmaps and I can’t remember what the route is and so I just keep on going and I see lots of bunnies and not dead ones this time and there’s a car coming up behind me and I try not to wobble and remember what Shaun said about they don’t want to hit me and it overtakes me and woo hoo, I don’t wobble and it doesn’t hit me and I go past a road and I wonder if I should turn off there but I still carry on going straight and  I see some horses and I think that makes a change from sheep and I go past some houses that the owners probably think are posh but they look new and like they should be in Essex and after a while I get to a residential area and I think hmm, I think I’ve gone too far and so I turn round and go back the way I came and I can hear something behind me and I don’t know what it is but it sounds big and it overtakes me and it’s a trailer or something with HUGE wheels and I think I don’t want to end up under them and then I’m back at the tree and the road is very narrow and a car comes along and there’s only just enough room for both of us and I pretend not to be scared and then I’m home and decide not to run but because I am sort of hardcore, I try out our new rowing machine which is harder than the one in the gym and after 15 minutes I’m knackered.

Route

Stats:
Distance: 6.91 miles
Time: 40:53
Speed: 10.1mph
Calories: 212
Stupid girl’s bikes: 1
Bunnies: lots
Horses: some
Trailer things with HUGE wheels: 1
Rowing machines: 1
Runs: 0

Shaun’s growing some hedgehog cucumbers in the greenhouse at the moment but although they’re called cucumbers, they’re not for consumption so we’ll just have to keep them as pets and recently I was pointed in the direction of the walking boots man again although now he’s a beardy walking boots man making videos for Webtogs about North Face Hedgehog trainers so I watch the video to see if the trainers are for running or just to be kept as pets.  He doesn’t mention anything about pets which is a shame but says they’re their bestseller and to be used for low level trail walking and running out on the hills.  As usual, he uses a lot of technical words I don’t understand but apparently this particular shoe (I’m assuming he means the other in the pair too, and not just the one he’s fondling in the video) is breathable, keep your feet dry (but he said that about the sandals and they had huge holes in them so I’m not sure he’s to be fully trusted) and protect your feet from stones.  He also says that the air bubble puts a spring in your step.  Ah, so that’s what the bubble’s for then.  He then jauntily flips the shoe over to show us the sole and goes on to say they have fantastic grip and traction but I want to know when I’m going to see a hedgehog and maybe one will wander past in the video but, alas, no hedgehogs appear.

I also haven’t seen any hedgehogs round here either.  I have seen a dwindling number of sheep in the field at the bottom of the garden which have either dwindled further or disappeared altogether as I haven’t seen them for a couple of days, lots of bunnies (the dead/alive ratio wasn’t looking good for a while but that rectified itself yesterday on an early bike ride), a few horses and a few cows.  But no hedgehogs.  And I thought the countryside was full of animals, not just a few dead bunnies?

The Joggerblogger is back and has come to take over his rightful place as Chief Juneathoner; visit his blog for the full rules and join the Juneathon Facebook group here.

As I sprained my ankle on my second outing in the countryside and haven’t run for over a week, and haven’t been to the gym for three weeks, I’m feeling like a fat, unfit bloater and I decide my ankle was feeling better and so thought I’d give it a try and I get outside and after half a mile the pavement disappears and a disabled man walks past and says hello and then an old man cyclist cycles past and says hello and he must be a proper cyclist as he’s wearing those dorky clothes that proper cyclists wear and then my biggest fear of the countryside happens, two cars are coming in opposite directions but I’m on a better bit of road which does actually have a proper verge, unlike the one where I fell over and hurt my ankle and after the cars have passed each other, I look behind me to check nothing else is coming and there’s a car about two inches away from me and I think oops and then I’m on a pavement again and I think hooray for pavements and I turn my iPod up and then I’m tired and I’m walking and I see come kids coming up the road and I wonder if they’re going to laugh at me and I wonder if I care and I decide I don’t really and I go past the library and remind myself to wear my glasses next time I go in there as I didn’t wear them when I went to join it and then I couldn’t borrow any books as I couldn’t see them and then I walk up the hill to go home and I’ve done a very very slow walk/run because I am a feeble lightweight.

Stats
Distance: 2.15 miles
Time: 25:40
Pace: 11:56 m/m
Calories: 190
Cyclists wearing dorky cyclist’s clothes: 1
Cars: 3
Glasses worn to the library: 0

This is what the countryside did to me, I used to have an ankle, now I have an elephant’s foot.  This never happened in London.  Stupid countryside.

Still, after Sarah suggested soaking a cloth in apple cider vinegar, putting the cloth around my ankle and wrapping it in clingfilm, today I woke up with it feeling 1000 times better; still swollen but I can now walk up the stairs without Shaun laughing at me.

Result.

(sorry about crap photo, my pc is broken and I’m on an old version of Wordpress and don’t know how to upload the photos properly)

Stats:
Elephant’s feet: 1
Ankles smelling of vinegar: 1
Crap photos: 1

I can’t run.  I have a very swollen and bruised ankle because of the stupid countryside roads without pavements.  I never fell over in the marshes, oh no.  I did fall over a football during my first 10k but that was nearly three years ago and since then, except for wine based unbalancing acts, I have stayed upright.  Until I moved to the flipping stupid poxy waste of space countryside.

So, today, instead of running I played on the computer and was speaking to Joggerblogger (or [rich] as he likes to be known these days) on Twitter and I asked him if I should take over Juneathon or was he going to do it?  And he said I should take over, as he’d feel a fake as he can’t run.  So I said but you can draw everyday and he liked this idea and hurrah, our leader is back and going to post up the new run, exercise or draw Juneathon 2009 rules shortly.

Yippee.

As yesterday’s run was more of a run a bit, take photos of sheep, run a bit more, take photos of lambs and run a bit, take photos of cows kind of run, today I decided to be a proper hardcore runner and go for a run without my camera and not stopping to look at the cute farmyard animals, especially as, since I cancelled my gym membership, either my scales are lying or I need to do more exercise.  And obviously eat less crisps (and somehow cakes have crept into the fridge) but one thing at a time, eh?

I spend most of the morning procrastinating as usual before putting my trainers on and I even excel in my usual procrastinations by wasting time looking for cat poo, as the cat and I moved in on Saturday and she hasn’t been in her litter tray yet but has weed on the rug which Shaun was really pleased with.  At least, I think he was, as he marched into the living room with a brush and a bucket full of disinfectant and I know how much he likes cleaning, so she did him a favour really.

As I put my Garmin outside to get a signal, the cat makes a break for freedom and I get her back in the house and she meows at me and I shut her in the house and run up the road and when I turn the corner I see some old people with dogs and an old lady says hello and I try not to make eye contact in case she has magical powers and turns me into a countryside person and I mumble hello and look at my feet and in a field is a bunny and I think aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, cute bunny and then there’s a baby bunny and I think AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, CUTE BABY BUNNY and he runs off and then there’s another baby bunny sitting with the lambs and I wonder if it’s the same bunny? and how come it’s scared of me and not scared of the lambs? and then I’m on the road with the corners and I get to the bend I didn’t like the most yesterday and I go further to the edge and my ankle ends up in a hole and the rest of me ends up in the road and I think ouch and I want to get up off the road before I get run over and I stand up and a tractor goes past and then three cars behind it and I take a few steps and my ankle’s not that bad and I carry on running and I think I’ve gone past where the cows live as I didn’t see any and didn’t see any fields I recognise as being the one they live in and I must have been too traumatised after falling over to notice them and I think that I’ll have to either a) give up running and get fat; or b) move back to London where we have PROPER PLACES TO RUN IN and then I see the sign for Headcorn and I don’t remember seeing the other sign that says it’s a mile and a quarter away and then I think I’m on the road that turns into a pavement in a bit and then it does turn into a pavement and I get round the corner and walk up the hill to get over the trauma.

Stats:
Distance: 2.34 miles
Time: 24:59
Pace: 10:41 m/m
Calories: 207
Cats weeing on rugs: 1
Old ladies with magical powers: 1
Bunnies: 1
Baby bunnies: 2
Cows: 0
Roads fallen onto: 1
Twisted ankles: 1
Londoners moving back to London: 1

I moved to the countryside on Saturday and I was going to go for a run yesterday but it looked a bit windy, so I stayed in instead, trying to remember the new systems of the house, such as cold drinks go in the cold drinks cupboard and hot drinks go in the hot drinks cupboard, unless they’re unopened cold drinks, then they go in the hot drinks cupboard until they’re opened, then they go into the cold drinks cupboard.  And also there is a specific space for tinned tomatoes in the cupboard and I need to learn how to close curtains properly.  And I thought he was an easy going kind of chap. 

But today I thought I would be brave and venture out and try not to get run over by a tractor or a sheep or run over by anything really and I decide to be sensible and not take my iPod so I can hear the cars coming as I’m going to have to run along those stupid roads without pavements things but I am unable to get out of the door without it and I decide to be semi-sensible and take it with me but have it on low and I can’t be bothered to wait for my Garmin to get a signal and I think it will probably be a lot quicker round here anyway so I start without it and hope I can remember where I need to turn off and after a little while my Garmin gets a signal and I carry on running and I see a turning and I think I need to go down there and I cross the road and there’s a car coming and Shaun said there wouldn’t be any cars but I don’t think he’s to be trusted anyway, as he could have told me about the cold drinks/hot drinks thing before I moved in and discovered he had OCD and then I could have stayed at home with my cupboards that are in disarray with hot and cold drinks happily intermingling and I could put the tinned tomatoes anywhere I feel like it, maybe in the hot drinks cupboard if I’m feeling particularly rebellious and then I get to a field with nothing in it

and I think what’s the point of having a field with nothing in it? there should be sheep in it and I wonder when I’ll see some sheep and just up the road there’s some lambs chasing a pigeon

and I think aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, cute, and across the road are more sheep

and I think I’m bored of sheep now and I want to see some cows but I’m not up to where the cows live yet, but there are some more lambs playing with some hay or straw or something

and then I see an escaped lamb

and I wonder how he got out and maybe I can steal him and take him home with me, as he’s cuter than the ugly sheep at the bottom of the garden and then I get to where the cows live but they’re a bit far away

and so I leave the far away cows and carry on running and then there’s another road and I don’t remember this road being here when Shaun took me out on Sunday to show me the route and I wonder if I’ve gone the wrong way and I carry on going left and don’t recognise anything because it’s all just green and looks the same everywhere and no burnt out cars or shopping trolleys to act as a landmark and seven cars come down the road and I could have sworn Shaun said I wouldn’t see any cars and I’m getting fed up of getting out of the way of cars and I can’t see round the corners and I think if a car comes round the corner I’m going to get squished and then a car does come fast round a corner and I nearly fall into a ditch full of nettles and I think I want to go home to London and run round the marshes and I don’t like the stupid countryside with its stupid pavementless roads and nowhere to run and then I’m nearly home and back on a pavement and there’s a squashed dead pigeon with no head and I wonder where its head’s gone and I get home without being run over.

Route

Stats:
Distance: 2.4 miles
Time: 31:00
Pace: 12:43 m/m
Calories: 222
Boyfriends with OCD: 1
Lambs: lots
Sheep: lots
Far away cows: lots
Pigeons with no heads: 1
Roads with pavements: 1 and a bit.