Road 1 Me 0

As yesterday’s run was more of a run a bit, take photos of sheep, run a bit more, take photos of lambs and run a bit, take photos of cows kind of run, today I decided to be a proper hardcore runner and go for a run without my camera and not stopping to look at the cute farmyard animals, especially as, since I cancelled my gym membership, either my scales are lying or I need to do more exercise.  And obviously eat less crisps (and somehow cakes have crept into the fridge) but one thing at a time, eh?

I spend most of the morning procrastinating as usual before putting my trainers on and I even excel in my usual procrastinations by wasting time looking for cat poo, as the cat and I moved in on Saturday and she hasn’t been in her litter tray yet but has weed on the rug which Shaun was really pleased with.  At least, I think he was, as he marched into the living room with a brush and a bucket full of disinfectant and I know how much he likes cleaning, so she did him a favour really.

As I put my Garmin outside to get a signal, the cat makes a break for freedom and I get her back in the house and she meows at me and I shut her in the house and run up the road and when I turn the corner I see some old people with dogs and an old lady says hello and I try not to make eye contact in case she has magical powers and turns me into a countryside person and I mumble hello and look at my feet and in a field is a bunny and I think aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, cute bunny and then there’s a baby bunny and I think AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, CUTE BABY BUNNY and he runs off and then there’s another baby bunny sitting with the lambs and I wonder if it’s the same bunny? and how come it’s scared of me and not scared of the lambs? and then I’m on the road with the corners and I get to the bend I didn’t like the most yesterday and I go further to the edge and my ankle ends up in a hole and the rest of me ends up in the road and I think ouch and I want to get up off the road before I get run over and I stand up and a tractor goes past and then three cars behind it and I take a few steps and my ankle’s not that bad and I carry on running and I think I’ve gone past where the cows live as I didn’t see any and didn’t see any fields I recognise as being the one they live in and I must have been too traumatised after falling over to notice them and I think that I’ll have to either a) give up running and get fat; or b) move back to London where we have PROPER PLACES TO RUN IN and then I see the sign for Headcorn and I don’t remember seeing the other sign that says it’s a mile and a quarter away and then I think I’m on the road that turns into a pavement in a bit and then it does turn into a pavement and I get round the corner and walk up the hill to get over the trauma.

Distance: 2.34 miles
Time: 24:59
Pace: 10:41 m/m
Calories: 207
Cats weeing on rugs: 1
Old ladies with magical powers: 1
Bunnies: 1
Baby bunnies: 2
Cows: 0
Roads fallen onto: 1
Twisted ankles: 1
Londoners moving back to London: 1


  • Ah. It won’t take long for you to become imune to the joys of the countryside. After all, it’s just another of God’s charming miracles and like the Northern Lights, Tahitian beaches and California Redwoods, it will pale into insignificance while life’s real issues, cat wee, work and papers that aren’t delivered, will begin to loom large. And there’s no such thing as magical old ladies. They’re really just old ladies who once lived in London and had interesting lives. In a sense, they’re just a later version of you. However, if you take your next run wearing your new magical Polaroid running sunglasses, something really good could happen…

  • LOL – proper places to run = swerving around slow walking people. Hope the ankle gets better.

  • “once lived in London and had interesting lives”

    Eek. Does that mean I’m going to get boring? I thought giving up the day job would mean I got to leave a more interesting life, sitting around doing creative things and learning more txt spk on Facebook. And I would try out my new magical Polaroid running sunglasses if we had any flipping sun here!

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  • Valik from JOGNRUN

    LOL!!! I am sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at you but about your blog!! It is so entertaining, “Old ladies with magical powers: 1”, LOL!!!! I have never seen a blog about a thing like jogging this fun to read. Very cool!

  • Thanks Valik, and welcome to my blog.

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