Road 1 Me 0
As yesterday’s run was more of a run a bit, take photos of sheep, run a bit more, take photos of lambs and run a bit, take photos of cows kind of run, today I decided to be a proper hardcore runner and go for a run without my camera and not stopping to look at the cute farmyard animals, especially as, since I cancelled my gym membership, either my scales are lying or I need to do more exercise. And obviously eat less crisps (and somehow cakes have crept into the fridge) but one thing at a time, eh?
I spend most of the morning procrastinating as usual before putting my trainers on and I even excel in my usual procrastinations by wasting time looking for cat poo, as the cat and I moved in on Saturday and she hasn’t been in her litter tray yet but has weed on the rug which Shaun was really pleased with. At least, I think he was, as he marched into the living room with a brush and a bucket full of disinfectant and I know how much he likes cleaning, so she did him a favour really.
As I put my Garmin outside to get a signal, the cat makes a break for freedom and I get her back in the house and she meows at me and I shut her in the house and run up the road and when I turn the corner I see some old people with dogs and an old lady says hello and I try not to make eye contact in case she has magical powers and turns me into a countryside person and I mumble hello and look at my feet and in a field is a bunny and I think aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, cute bunny and then there’s a baby bunny and I think AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, CUTE BABY BUNNY and he runs off and then there’s another baby bunny sitting with the lambs and I wonder if it’s the same bunny? and how come it’s scared of me and not scared of the lambs? and then I’m on the road with the corners and I get to the bend I didn’t like the most yesterday and I go further to the edge and my ankle ends up in a hole and the rest of me ends up in the road and I think ouch and I want to get up off the road before I get run over and I stand up and a tractor goes past and then three cars behind it and I take a few steps and my ankle’s not that bad and I carry on running and I think I’ve gone past where the cows live as I didn’t see any and didn’t see any fields I recognise as being the one they live in and I must have been too traumatised after falling over to notice them and I think that I’ll have to either a) give up running and get fat; or b) move back to London where we have PROPER PLACES TO RUN IN and then I see the sign for Headcorn and I don’t remember seeing the other sign that says it’s a mile and a quarter away and then I think I’m on the road that turns into a pavement in a bit and then it does turn into a pavement and I get round the corner and walk up the hill to get over the trauma.
Distance: 2.34 miles
Pace: 10:41 m/m
Cats weeing on rugs: 1
Old ladies with magical powers: 1
Baby bunnies: 2
Roads fallen onto: 1
Twisted ankles: 1
Londoners moving back to London: 1