Juneathon 2009 Day 6 – Competition time

Another day, another Juneathon, and with the weather we’ve had the past couple of days, it could well be called a Decemberthon, apart from the fact that it’s not actually December.

I couldn’t really be bothered to do anything today but rules are rules and I don’t want anyone to call me a slacker so the little trusty steed and I went up to the tree and back.  And in case you’re wondering why, if I moved to the countryside, there’s only one tree, there is actually more than one but this one’s at a handy little junction.

And for those of you that only looked at this post because the title mentions a competition and therefore freebies, here’s today’s competition.

Crisis Cook BookIn the goody bag for Thursday’s Crisis Square Mile Run was The Crisis Cook Book.  I’m giving mine away because a) Shaun got one too and we don’t need two of them; and b) it’s full of meat recipes like Spiced Partridge Pilaf and Roast Bone Marrow and as you know, I’m one of those fussy vegetarian types.

Blurb from the book:

The Crisis Cook Book has been edited by Nicholas Lander who has had the enviable job of being the Financial Times restaurant correspondent for the past 18 years and is a long time supporter of Crisis, the homeless charity. During this period he has made the acquaintance of many of the top chefs around the world who have generously donated three recipes their favourite starter, main course and dessert for this book. The Crisis Cook Book comprises 84 recipes from 28 top chefs including Mario Batali, Paul Bocuse, Sally Clarke, Alain Ducasse, Chris Galvin, Mark Hix, Ken Hom, Simon Hopkinson, Tom Kitchin, Joel Robuchon, Rick Stein and Alice Waters, which have been converted into an easy-to-follow format by cookery writer, Silvija Davidson. The second section includes ten introductory essays on wine by Jancis Robinson.

It also says the other main objective of this book is to raise funds for Crisis, the homelessness charity www.crisis.org.uk which will receive a significant proportion from each book sold.

Although obviously not from the 2,700 copies they gave away on Thursday.

So, if you want to make such mouthwatering recipes as Squid and Mackerel Burger or Chicken Liver Terrine with Juniper all you have to do is post a joke and the one I like best wins.

UK entries only please (unless you have a UK friend who will post it overseas to you)
Competition ends Friday 12 June 2009

Stats (cycling)
Distance: 2.19 miles
Time: 14:01
Speed: 9.4mph
Calories: 62
Weight: 9st 4
Juneathons completed: 6/30
Competitions: 1


  • What do you call a couple who like fishing?

    Rod and Annette. 🙂

  • Our daughter made this up when she was 4. It is a variation on the “why did the chicken cross the road” and is suitably VegFriendly:

    “How did the chicken get back to the farm?”

    “Frozen in a bag”

  • Man goes for job at a blacksmiths:

    “Do you have any experience shoeing horses?”

    “No but I once told a donkey to **** off”

  • “My dog’s got no tongue!”

    “How does he taste?”


    This has to be the winner.

  • A very good idea! I have bo jokes ‘cuz I already got a cookbook but I like the chicken joke. You probably want a veg-joke tho.

  • 2 parrots sitting on a perch, one says to the other “Can you smell fish?”

  • Doesn’t have to be veg jokes, I’m liking the blacksmiths one best at the mo.

  • OK… lowering the tone a little.
    A man buys some deer meat and cooks it for his kids but doesn’t tell them what it is in case they don’t want to eat it. After much pestering from the kids about the meat in the meal, the Dad says, “OK, I’ll give you a clue what it is… Mummy sometimes calls me this.” One kid turns to the other and says “Eurgh… don’t eat it, it’s arsehole”

  • An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman were in a pub talking about their children.

    ‘My son was born on St George’s Day, ‘remarked the Englishman, ‘So we decided to call him George.’

    ‘That’s a coincidence, ‘ said the Scotsman. ‘My son was born on St Andrew’s Day, so we called him Andrew.’

    ‘What a coincidence!’ said the Irishman, ‘I must go home and tell our Pancake!’

  • What do you call a Boomarang that doesn’t come back?

    A stick.

  • Just been to the gym and there’s a new machine there. I only used it for an hour or so because I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything ‘Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps’ !

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  • How do you get rid of inter-nettles?

    Always WEED your e-mails!!!

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  • Have you heard the one about the Crisis cookbook?

    They couldn’t give it away!!

    Boom boom

  • Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses and he doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed and the other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services and he gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” and the operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” and then there’s a silence, and then a shot is heard and back on the phone, the hunter says, “OK, now what?”and then back at the hospital a patient interupts the call and says,”Doctor, I’ve got a strawberry stuck up my bum.” and the doctor says “I’ve got some cream for that.” and then another patient comes in and says “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: ‘Could you please pass the butter?’ But instead I said: ‘You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.” and then a man and a friend are playing golf and one of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the courseand he stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer and his friend says: “Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.” and the other man replies, “Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.” and then a dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” and the clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” and the dog replied, “But that would make no sense at all!

    And I’m a veggie too so if I win the book I might just have to give it away as a prize in a competition to see who can send me the funniest jokes.

  • Pingback: Winner of The Crisis Cookbook announced! | JogBlog running blog

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