JogBlog running blog

I used to hate alliteration before doing my OU course. But then I started to quite like it as it was used quite often and now I think it’s quite the bees’ bollocks (sorry for the mixed metaphor but I was also taught to avoid clichés like the plague).

I did do a run last week that I should have blogged but didn’t. I was going to blog about it, but got side-tracked and I haven’t even got my list of prompts/memory guides so you could at least have had a kind of join-the-dots blog instead.

Still, today I ran and now I’m blogging it.

Some time ago, I received an email about a new range of running tops. Being a blatantly brazen blagging blogger, I emailed back and said thank you for your spam email, the tops look cool. Can I have one to review on my blog please? and they say yes, of course you can. And so I was sent a lovely stripy top from Rainbow Running.

Not cheap at £35, I was also a bit perturbed to look at the label and see they’re 100% polyester. I WILL BOIL AND DIE I thought but on investigating properly the blurb I was sent like I should have done in the first place and not just been greedy and grabbing my freebie, it says they’re made with wickable Intera fabric, which rapidly transports water molecules to the surface of the fibres where they can quickly evaporate, the garments offer a cooler and more comfortable running experience.

And after trying the running top, I can say that that’s not just marketing bollocks, as it did keep me cool and dry and I didn’t get home with it sticking to me (and that’s not just because I run [or jog, as I’ve recently been told I do, as I go really slowly, bah] really slowly. Slow joggers runners sweat too, you know. And it fitted nicely and it was comfy and all that other stuff. (Yeah, ok, I’m not very good at reviews. Random stream of consciousnesses are more my thing.)

Another thing I tried out today was my new iPhone 4. I was a bit hesitant to get one as I thought it’s just a phone, isn’t it? And I don’t even use the phone. BUT I FUCKING LOVE IT. I love it. I love it. I love it. I was very scared to take it out with me as I didn’t want to put it in my back pocket with my door key but the protective covers are still on it (although they’re getting a bit manky so I think I’ll have to take them off soon – anyone recommend a case?), so I thought it’d be ok. I downloaded the Runkeeper app, although everyone says it’s shit and loaded up my phone with Audiofuel, Kate Bush and Knifeworld. Runkeeper found my location within seconds (unlike my N95 which found my location once in the two years I had it) and I wondered if it would still go when I pressed the home button and started up the music player. I didn’t really care though as I had my Garmin with me. Everything seemed to be going ok and I shoved the phone in my back pocket. Next time though, I’ll start the music off first as Runkeeper had been going for a while while I was sorting the music out and then for even longer while I put it in my pocket. What do other runners do, if you run with your phone? Can you recommend an armband that gives easy access to everything?

After all that faffing around, I start my run. I decide to go through the fields up to the road one and a half miles away and turn round and get back. BUT I’M SCUPPERED. Some flipping farmer has furrowed his field and I can’t see the path.

Bastard farmer scum. (Yeah, ok, that’s a bit harsh but I was a bit miffed.) This is what it looked like before.

See, a proper path and everything.

I can’t see where to go and it’s all muddy and lumpy and bumpy and I can’t run on it and so I walk and I’m really pissed off and I go a bit further and I can’t see where the next stile is and so when I get even more pissed off, I turn round and go back the way I came and go to the closed off road and run up there and back down again and because of all the walking I did on the PUBLIC FOOTPATH WHICH IS NO LONGER A PATH BUT JUST A LOAD OF MUD BECAUSE OF BASTARD FARMER SCUM, my miles per minute are really really slow and maybe I should be called whatever one below a jogger is (a Race for Lifer perhaps) and then I get home and look at the Runkeeper stats which, because of the time taken to run after starting it and the time taken to take it out of my pocket to stop it, is pretty much the same as my Garmin.

Stats (Runkeeper):
Distance: 3.07 miles
Time: 42:56
Pace: 13:59 m/m
Calories: 311

Garmin:
Distance: 3.05 miles
Time: 40:27
Pace: 13:16 m/m
Calories: 260

New running tops: 1
New iphones: 1
Bastard farmer scums: 1

Music:
Audiofuel
Knifeworld
Kate Bush

A few weeks (or was it months?) ago, I was invited to try out the new Adidas miCoach. But I didn’t go. And then I found out that Warriorwoman and Highway Kind went and I was gutted as it would have been great to meet Highway Kind and see Warriorwoman again and then on telly the other night I saw an advert for it and I said to Shaun, that’s that thing I was invited to and he said but it’s an app and you haven’t got an iPhone and I thought oh yeah but I think they got given a gadget or something but anyway, if the O2 man rings back after getting cut off yesterday by my crappy Samsung Tocco, maybe he’ll do me a good deal and I can get an iPhone after all and then I can get the miCoach thingybob.

I think I just made a word up. ‘Uncoordination’ has got a red squiggle under it. Oh well, I don’t care.

It’s intervals day and so I get my ipod and skip forward 98 tracks and I don’t get Courtney Love this time, which is a bit of a shame, as I like a bit of Courtney, although not the skanky, lipstick-smeared, falling-out-of-taxis, please-keep-your-clothes-on-when-you’re-on-stage-you’re-over-40-now, heroin addict bit, but the cool rock chick bit and especially the shagged-Noel-Fielding bit and I land on Audiofuel and go outside and I’ve got a stitch before I’ve even got past the gate and the warm up bit starts and I can’t keep my feet to the beat no matter how hard I try to keep in time with the 1, 2, 3, 4s and as it gets to the first interval bit, a car comes and I have to get out of the way and by the time the car’s gone, I’m halfway through the interval, well, the track is anyway, I’m still standing on the side of the road and so I carry on and I get to the top of the road as the next interval comes and there’s another car coming, so I miss part of the next interval too and I think I’m not doing very well with this today and I get to the closed off road and get to the top of the intervals pyramid and I turn round and go back the way I came and as I get to the end of the closed off road and back onto the not-closed-off road a car’s coming up the road opposite and I turn round so he can see that I’ve seen him and I wait for him to go past but he doesn’t go past and I turn round again and he’s still going really slowly and I think hurry up and go past then and he’s still driving really slowly and I turn round again and I think THAT’S THREE TIMES I’VE TURNED ROUND NOW SO YOU CAN SEE THAT I’VE SEEN YOU, YOU TWAT and he eventually goes past and I feel bad for shouting at him in my head in capitals and everything, as he was only going slowly so he didn’t run me over, which is a nice thing to do really but then I don’t feel too bad as he won’t know I was shouting at him in my head in capitals and everything and probably won’t read this either and I’m trying to keep in time with the 1, 2, 3, 4s but I have no rhythm today and I’m wondering if it’s because last night I dreamt I moved to Australia for two months and I’m feeling upside-down and then the intervals finish and the cool down finishes and I run the rest of the way home with Los Campesinos singing Romance is Boring.

Stats:
Distance: 2.31 miles
Time: 25:44
Pace: 11:09 m/m
Calories: 230
Rhythms kept: 0
Dreams of moving to Australia for two months: 1

After my three day detox, I get up and weigh myself and I’m three lbs lighter and the postman delivers three things in the post (a book , a poetry home study course [ssshh, don’t tell Shaun, but after getting a really crappy score for my poetry assignment on my OU course [which I passed with a grade 2 pass by the way, yay], I am determined to ‘get’ poetry] and my final payslip [which, seeing as it was for the grand total of £54 doesn’t exactly cover the other purchases]), I go out for a three mile run.

I’m not really sure how conducive only drinking juice for three days is to a decent run but surprisingly, over the three days, I didn’t lose any energy or get tired and I only got hungry around dinnertime, which I do anyway.

I get to the path and Black Wire comes on my ipod and it reminds me of when I was first starting out running and used to play Black Wire a lot and go over the marshes and the path is kind of like the path in the marshes as it’s off-road and only has trees and bushes on each side but it’s not the marshes and then I think about how my three mile route has a very varied terrain; it covers a pavement, a cycle path, a path down the park, then back to pavement, then down a trail, then over grass, then up a hill, then back onto the pavement, then another trail and then back out onto the street and down a hill to the house.

As I’m going down the path, I pass some garden furniture that some wanker has dumped and I wonder why they couldn’t take it to the tip, as there’s a tip in Ashford and they must have a car they can take it in, as I think I’m probably the only person in Kent who doesn’t drive and then I pass two shopping trolleys and I wonder why people come here to dump their shopping trolleys and I have just learnt that the plural of trolley is trolleys and not trollies as I first spelt it and this surprises me but anyway, I get to where the usual dumped trolley is and get onto the grass and then to the hill and as my new regime is not to stop and walk up hills, I run up the hill and then I’m in the housing development and outside one of the doors is a sign welcoming a new baby and there’s an amazon packet on the front step and I think now everyone knows the house is empty and they could get burgled and it wouldn’t be very nice if they got burgled when they’d gone to get their new baby and I wonder what the book is and if it’s worth stealing but it’s probably just a How to Feed Your Baby book or something and I’m not a thieving bastard anyway and a few doors down is a house with about ten letterboxes and I think wow, that’s a lot of flats they’ve squeezed into there and they’re probably cheap and I wonder how much they cost and if I could buy one and then I’m out of the estate and I notice they’ve dug the field up nearer towards the road and I hope they’re not going to build EVEN MORE houses as I think we have enough new houses here thank you very much and it’s not like I’m jealous or anything of their nice new houses which probably have high ceilings and stuff unlike this 300 year old one I’m currently living in with all the spindly spiders and then I’m walking and the Audiofuel girl is singing ‘You’ve Got Me Feeling’ or something and I think sorry love, I’m not really feeling it at the moment and I carry on walking and I think I’ll run until I get to the gate and then I think I did that last time and if I keep on doing that, I’ll get into the habit of walking each time I get to a gate and so I keep on going and then at the next gate I walk and then I say to myself that I’ll run until I get to the road, then I’ll allow myself to walk, at least until the downhill bit and I walk until I get to the postbox and then it’s downhill and I run down the hill and when I get to the bottom there’s builders with paint and stuff in the shop that’s been closed for years and years and years and maybe someone’s bought it at last and it’ll be an open shop that sells wine and cat food and stuff and therefore yay.

Stats:
Distance: 3.00 miles
Time: 36:38
Pace: 12:12
Calories: 292
Three day detoxes: 1
Books in the post: 1
Poetry courses in the post: 1
Payslips totalling the cost of the above two things: 0
Hills run up: 1
New baby signs: 1
Amazon parcels: 1
Shops that might be opening: 1
Music:
Audiofuel
Black Wire
Los Campesinos
Hole

Ok, so it’s not a very big challenge but I’m doing a three day detox which involves drinking lots of fresh juice and smoothies and you can read about it on my Planet Veggie blog. I’m also weaning myself off Facebook and Twitter and not looking at them for three days. So far, so good.

I’m not sure how well detoxing and interval training goes together but today is Tuesday and therefore interval day.

As much as I love Audiofuel, I only want to listen to it when I’m running, either outside or on the treadmill, but not when I’m doing other stuff in the gym or on the train but it’s also too much faff to keep changing the tracks on my ipod, so I keep all the Audiofuel tracks on there and autofill around them and the pyramid training tracks are at numbers 98-100 on my ipod and so I have to click and count to 98 to get to the first interval track and I get to 98 and listen to see if it’s Audiofuel, but no, it’s Courtney Love screaming something and I click once more and hurrah, I’ve found the right place. I listen to the introduction as I put on my Garmin which has been lying in the driveway getting a signal and I miss the beginning of the warm up as I’m getting out of the gate but soon I’m running slowly down the road waiting for the intervals to start.

Today I’ve decided to run slowly in the recovery bits and not walk like I did last time but I’m full of pineapple, blackberry and blueberry smoothie and I’m not sure if I’m going to manage it.

I manage to run all the way up the first side of the pyramid, although the top interval was more of a shuffle than a sprint and I do a bit of walking in the recovery bits on the way down. I do run all through the cool down though except for the bit when a car came round a bend and I had to get out of its way.

Stats:
Distance: 1.91 miles
Time: 20:22
Pace: 10:41 m/m
Calories: 196
3 day detoxes: 1
Facebooks: 0
Twitters: 0