JogBlog running blog

A nice man called Huw emailed me and asked me if I wanted a challenge.   I pondered this briefly and said yes please, I like challenges.  He also asked me if I wanted a free Sony Walkman W Series mp3 player.  I also pondered this briefly and said yes please nice man, BRING ON THE FREEBIES.

A parcel turns up for me at work and I eagerly open it and hmm, it’s a nasty plum and gold colour, but this isn’t the nice man’s fault as I didn’t specify a colour and so he either thought I seemed like a plum and gold kind of girl, or it was the first box that came to hand and he just shoved it in the envelope without giving colour choice a second thought.   Methinks the latter.

I give it a greater inspection when I get home and it’s nice and light but as it’s wireless and the mp3 player is in the headphones, it looks like one of those bluetooth mobile telephone things, the things that make you look like a dork and as there’s two earpieces on the Walkman, I’m going to look like a double-dork.  Ouch.

The next morning I get up bright and early and I don’t mean a I’ve been up drinking and watching Sex and the City all night 10am bright and early, I mean a what the fuck am I doing up at 6am on a Saturday morning kind of bright and early and I take the Walkman upstairs to put some music on it, as my challenge is to compile a playlist that will improve my performance.  I was asked ages ago by Phil to compile a playlist and share it with the internet people, but I sort of accidentally didn’t get round to doing it.  The absence of any freebies being offered was purely coincidental.

The Walkman comes with a cute little docking station and the headphones magnetically clip together with a satisfying click.  This isn’t purely aesthetic, unclipping them turns the Walkman on.  According to the instructions the status lamp should start blinking but I can’t see a status lamp, blinking or otherwise, so I reconsult the instructions and it has a handy picture for idiots like me that literally points you in the right direction with an arrow pointing at the lamp but it’s still not doing anything and so I read the instructions again and one of the first things it says is “when you use the player for the first time … the player may take some minutes to be recognised by the computer”.  In other words, be patient.

So while I’m being patient I have another look at the instructions as I’m sure I saw on there somewhere that it can be used with iTunes.  Yippee.  That’ll save me having to a) think of what to put on the Walkman; and b) finding the tracks hidden in the depths of my hard drive.  But I can’t find the bit that says I can use it with iTunes and so I try to use Windows Media Player but give up after a while as it’s not happening and I look at the instructions again and yippee, find the bit about  iTunes and I need to install the Walkman’s Content Transfer and so I try to do this but it says the installer can’t be installed and so I’m going to have to drag and drop and I go through my iTunes folder to try and choose some music and I’m wondering why the fuck I’ve got 18 Metallica albums and unsurprisingly don’t choose any tracks from any of them and I eventually choose some tracks to take me round my planned 30 minutes/3 miles marshes run.

I set Cedric for 30 minutes/3 miles and cheat by eating some jelly beans to power me through it and I get outside and it’s very windy and I think the dorky headphones are going to come off but they stay nicely in my ears and they’re comfy and the sound quality is great but I’m not sure my playlist is going to improve my performance and first up is Inbetweener by Sleeper that I chose because ages ago I had an idea to write a chick lit novel called Inbetweener even though a) I haven’t read many (if any) chick lit books; and b) don’t know how to write one but Sleeper is always good to listen to and next up is  Only Living Boy in New Cross by Carter which I chose because I was supposed to see a band in New Cross yesterday, but didn’t due to having to clean the house in preparation for the letting agent today and which turns out to be good running music, although as I get to the bridge Cedric catches up so I must run faster and next is Cardiacs with In a City Lining, chosen because I spent yesterday updating my Facebook status with lines from it.  This has to be the most impossible music in the world to run to, as they refuse to keep to the same time signature for more than 20 seconds at a time and it’s all stop/start but this is partly what makes them the best band in the world ever.  The other part is simply that Tim Smith is a genius.

Next up is Graham Coxon with You & I that I remembered kept me on the treadmill once longer than I had planned and so anything that can keep me on a treadmill must be good.  And it’s nothing to do with the fact that he’s got that geek chic thing going on.

Just Say Yes by the Cure is a song that makes me happy.  I should have played this last night when I was having a major strop because I had to do the hoovering and tidying  instead of sitting on the sofa drinking wine and eating chocolate which is what I should have been doing on a Friday night (or being in New Cross watching a band, if you’ve been paying attention).

More Cardiacs, this time Joining the Plankton, which is my most favourite song in the world ever and the song I want played at my funeral.  I’ll probably have more than one song but I haven’t thought of any others yet.

Hole start singing Miss World.  I really like this song but I’ve never run to it before and I don’t think I will again as it sounds quite depressing.  Still, never mind because next is My Delirium by Ladyhawke and this is more like it, up-beat and dancey and just right to give me the final push for the last bit of the run which my Garmin tells me I have 21 seconds left to do and when I finish, I’ve beaten Cedric.

So, challenge completed.  Not really songs chosen to give me a push but songs chosen for various reasons, none of which running related.  Don’t tell the nice man, he might ask for the Walkman back.

Stats:
Distance: 3.04 miles
Time: 30:02
Pace: 9:52 m/m
Calories: 298
Up bright and earlies: 1
New MP3 players: 1
Music:
Sleeper - Inbetweener
Carter - Only Living Boy in New Cross
Cardiacs - In a City Lining
Graham Coxon - You & I
Cure - Just Say Yes
Cardiacs - Joining the Plankton
Hole - Miss World
Ladyhawke - My Delirium

Every Christmas, starting from the day after my birthday, I get sluggish with a capital S.  Actually make that sluggish with a capital l, u, g, g, i, s and h too and so when on Christmas Day Shaun comes up with the bright idea of going for a run, I say noooooo I can’t, I’ve got a stomach ache and he says it’s ok, it’ll make me feel better and so I say noooooo I can’t, running together’s naff and he says it’s ok, it’s Christmas Day, naffness is allowed and I say noooooo I can’t, I’ve got roast potatoes to make and he says it’s ok, we can make them when we get back and I say noooooo I can’t, there’s champagne to be drunk and chocolates to be eaten and he says it’s ok, we can eat and drink when we get back and I say noooooo I can’t, my hair’s clean and it’ll get greasy and dirty and I can’t be bothered to wash it again and he can’t think of an answer to that one and just looks at me blankly and says please? and I think I do want to try out his new Garmin Forerunner 405 and so I say ok then and he puts a scruffy old jumper over his nice new running top and he’s got dodgy shorts on and I say I can’t be seen out with you looking like that and he says yes you can, come on and he goes outside with his new Garmin 405 and my old Garmin Forerunner 301 and he comes back two seconds later and says his 405’s got a signal already and I think I need a 405 too and we wait for my 301 to get a signal which it does eventually and I think I’m going to look like a saddo with this thing taking up half my arm and we get outside and I go to turn my new pink iPod Shuffle on and then remember that I didn’t bring it out with me and we head off towards the marshes and I remember why I don’t like running without my iPod and it’s not just to drown out Shaun’s whittering but also to drown out the sound of my heavy breathing and stomping feet and we pass quite a few people but not one of them says Merry Christmas or morning or anything, the miserable gits, and I get a stitch and I’m going really slowly, so slowly in fact that at one point Shaun stops to walk and he’s still going faster than me and we eventually get round the three miles and go home to make roast potatoes and watch the cat play with the strangest looking mouse toy in the world ever.

Stats:
Distance: 3.02 miles
Time: 31:58 minutes
Pace: 10:35
Calories: 276
Excuses for not running: 5
Excuses for not running taken notice of: 0
Pink iPods: 1
Strange looking mouse toys: 1
People saying Merry Christmas: 0

Not only is it the second day of Juneathon but it’s also the first day of my new life as a lady of leisure, which I have decided sounds better than unemployed pikey.  I email the agency and say those crooks at [enter name of crooks here] have given my job back to their old secretary who came back from travelling the world early, i.e. after two weeks, the lightweight, and the agent does sound genuinely upset for me and not just because of the commission he’s just lost although he will be even more upset when he hears that the other new secretary rang the crooks this morning and told them she wasn’t going back in an act of solidarity and therefore that’s quite a lot of commission he’s just lost.  Oops.

After emailing the crooks and telling them I know about the other girl coming back, I fix up an appointment to see another agency tomorrow morning and then decide to get some Juneathoning done before continuing on my new unemployed pikey lady of leisure lifestyle and I decide to wear my new shoes but I’m wearing a red t-shirt again but I decide that not wearing red and green together hasn’t done much for my luck so far in my 38 years and so I decide to be reckless but then remember that my new shoes have weird Salomon quicklaces on them

and so I can’t tie my Nike+ pouch to them and although it’s completely pointless me taking the Nike+ Sportband out because it’s inaccurate and the calibrating didn’t work, I still want to take it out because it updates the Nike+ challenge widget thing over there on the right and makes me look like I’ve run a lot of miles and even more importantly, run further than Warriorwoman although I don’t think that’s cheating as much as trying to make out going on a Wii is valid Juneathoning.

Stats:
Distance: 3.03 miles
Time: 31:42 minutes
Pace: 10:27
Calories: 305
Agencies losing lots of commision: 1
Agencies to see tomorrow: 1
Crooks emailed: 1
Days of being a lady of leisure: 1
Juneathons completed: 2/2
Music
The Secret Machines
The Levellers
Toyah
Muse
THE 100 MILE CHALLENGE
Miles completed so far
26.43 out of 100 / 23 days left

I get up too late to go to the gym before work and so I decide to go at lunchtime just for a mile on the treadmill to see if I can calibrate the stupid poxy Nike+ Sportband thing which still shows me as breaking world records ha ha and I get to the gym and there’s no air conditioning but I think it doesn’t really matter as I’m only doing a mile and I get on the treadmill and try three times to start the treadmill and my Nike+ Sportsband at the same time and each time they’re way out and then duh I remember that the treadmill will be in kilometres and the Sportband will be in miles so I forget trying to synchronise them and just do a mile and after a mile I stop and because there’s no air conditioning I am completely minging and the gym is the only place I can put up with air conditioning as this is England and we don’t need air conditioning EVER except for the gym and I’ve had my heater on at work since I’ve been there and it seems like my Sportband and the treadmill were pretty spot on and I go back to work and freeze in the air conditioning and then I go to my evening class and then Tracey says do you want to go for a drink and I say no and then I’ve changed my mind by one tube stop and say shall we go for a drink at Liverpool Street and when we get out at Liverpool Street there aren’t any trains going to anywhere and I think shit I’ll have to get the tube and a bus or a cab home and we go to the pub and we pass one on the way that’s cheaper and we get veggie sausage and mash and a bottle of wine for about £12 between us and then we get the tube and then I get another tube and then I get the bus and there’s a man on the bus on his mobile having a conversation about the bus and he’s telling whoever he’s talking to that when he got out of the tube there were three buses and the 97 is faster than the 69 and sometimes he doesn’t get a bus ’til 10 o’clock and I’m thinking whoppee fucking do just shut the fuck up but he doesn’t and he carries on and on with the same conversation about how there were three buses and sometimes he gets this bus but sometimes he gets another bus and I’m swearing under my breath and really really really wanting him to SHUT THE FUCK UP and I’m wondering if the person on the other side of the conversation is losing the will to live as much as I am and I can’t take the bus conversation anymore and I get off the bus early and I walk down the street and as I get to Somerfield it has a sign saying half price wine so I have to go in and get a bottle and I get home and I plug in my Nike+ Sportband but it doesn’t upload anything so I reboot my computer to see if that will change its mind but it doesn’t so I go to download the software again but I can’t download it and I think I hate the Nike+ Sportband thing.

Stats:
Distance: 1 mile
Time: 12 minutes
Pace: 12:24
Calories: 92
THE 100 MILE CHALLENGE
Miles completed so far
13.55 out of 100 / 27 days left

As agreed with Warriorwoman, today is the start of our Salomon XT Wings Challenges. Mine being to run 100 miles in a month, and her’s being something completely mental and which maybe she is out doing right now if she’s finished taking pictures of little birds that are probably now dead.

I decide to make it a day of freebies and decide to do intervals with my free Kara Goucher Endurance Boost workout mp3 and I put on my free Salomon t-shirt

and I go to put on my free Salomon XT Wings shoes

but then I remember that red and green should not be seen so I put on my usual trainers and I take my free Nike+ Sportband as I’ve been sent another one without a defective screen and I use my new pouch instead of doing the Joggerblogger bodge job

and I go out and stand where the waiting-for-a-Garmin-signal-wall used to be and a scruffy man comes out of a scruffy house and I wonder if that’s where Bad Cat lives because the man is as manky as Bad Cat and Bad Cat’s behaviour is that of a pikey and I set off to do my intervals and as I get past the stables a cyclist comes up and looks like she’s going to turn but then she doesn’t look like she’s going to turn and I’m thinking ARE YOU GOING TO TURN OR WHAT, MAKE YOUR MIND UP YOU STUPID COW and she eventually turns and I carry on and there’s a sign on the boardwalk about cyclists but I don’t stop to read it and just hope it says that there’s been a change in the law and that from 1 June 2008 instead of banning alcohol on the tube, they’re going to ban cyclists from everywhere instead and as I get to my favourite bridge there’s a little kid at the bottom of the ramp and it’s just standing there in my way and I’m thinking GET OUT OF THE WAY STUPID KID and then there’s a baby Irish Wolfhound and it reminds me of the Irish Wolfhound my parents had and it also reminds me that the girl at work has a baby tortoise and I thought it was illegal to have tortoises over here and I’ve never seen a baby tortoise and I go over the bridge at the marina and I have to walk because there’s lots of people on it and there’s another kid in my way and I’m thinking is it small-children-in-the-way-day today or what? and I see a train and think hurrah, the trains are running today, that means Kate can get here for the official opening night of the new theatre pub up the road and it’s a glamorous Hollywood themed night and I told the owner who invited me to the opening that I’d wear a dress. Fuck.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 3.44 miles
Time: 31:04
Pace: 10:12 m/m
Calories: 346
Free t-shirts: 1
Free shoes: 1
Free MP3s: 1
Free Nike+ Sportbands: 1
Scruffy men in scruffy houses: 1
Cyclists taking 15 years to decide whether to turn or not: 1
Baby Irish Wolfhounds: 1
Kids in my way: 2
Glamorous Hollywood themed nights: 1
Music
Let’s Get It Started (Black Eyed Peas)
Don’t Phunk With My Heart (Black Eyed Peas)
Timebomb (Beck)
Say Goodbye To Love (Kenna)
Somewhere Only We Know (Keane)
For The Girl (The Fratellis)
Lay Down The Law (The Switches)
Where It’s At (Beck)
The Middle (Jimmy Eat World)
Sorry Sorry (Rooney)
Come To You (Carina Round)
Chase The Light (Jimmy Eat World)
Stop Stare (One Republic)

Contrary to popular belief, I haven’t retired. I have been resting. Resting my finger that is, and my finger needs resting because last Saturday I had a few friends round for dinner for a celebrate-me-getting-a-new-job thing and while I was being the hostess with the mostest, instead of rinsing the rice, I rinsed my finger with boiling water and then it looks like this:

Ouch.

I ice it with the runner’s obligatory ice-pack-in-freezer and after that goes warm, it’s replaced by a packet of frozen Quorn mince. Then, ignoring my friends’ pleas to go to the hospital, after dinner I drink more wine and watch Sex and the City and then my finger feels better. Until the next day when it hurts like fuck.

I eventually get myself down to the Minor Injuries Unit at Barts after work on Monday (yes it was two days later but I’d rather walk around with a huge blister than go and sit in A&E and queue up for 5 hours behind 20,000 immigrants who are using it like their local GP’s practice) and my blister gets drained and dressed and then I look like some weird alien pointing thing. Cool.

And that is my excuse for not having run this week. Although I did run last Saturday morning but haven’t blogged it yet due to it being necessary to incorporate a review of a cheesy 40 minute workout MP3 I was sent which will mean having to listen to it again to remind myself of it and I haven’t been able to bring myself to do that yet because - unsurprisingly perhaps - it contains no Bobby Conn or Cardiacs, only the likes of the Birds Eye Peas or whatever they’re called. [Update - it is blogged now, see post below]

So this morning I decide to have my comeback. And I decide to ditch the marathon training and concentrate on getting my 5k and 10k speeds up. This has nothing to do with the fact that londonjogger is getting seriously speedy and we’re going to be doing the same 5k soon. Honest.

Also motivating me to get out of the door and stop being a fat bloater is the Nike+ Sportband that I was sent to try out

and as I’m getting dressed I realise my trousers are Nike, as is my t-shirt. If anyone had told me a couple of years ago I’d be wearing head to ankle Nike, I’d have laughed. Then punched them.

As I am only head to ankle Nike-clad, and not head to toe, I haven’t got any of those Nike shoes with the holes in so, following the lead of Joggerblogger, I undertake the Joggerblogger bodge job and tape the Nike+ link to my shoe and now with my weird alien pointing finger and a running shoe covered in masking tape I am going to go outside and look like a freak.

I am slightly disappointed by the fact that I seem to have been sent a sub-standard Sportband that only shows half the display but undeterred I go outside and press the button down for 3 seconds and it tells me to walk so I do as I’m told and I walk and after a few seconds it’s ready to begin recording and I press the button again and start to run. I have already been confused by how it can know how far I’ve gone without GPS and even though it goes by footstrikes, how does it know how long your stride is? I quickly realise that it’s going to need calibrating when, after my Garmin (which I have faithfully strapped to my left wrist) says I’ve gone half a mile, the Sportband reckons I’ve done almost a mile. Oh. As the Sportband ticks over 5k, I glance at my Garmin and it says 27 minutes. Ha ha, very funny. The Sportband is obviously lying.

After my week of eating pizza, chocolate and crisps, not visiting the gym or going running, I am feeling very fat and unfit and the wrong side of 9 stone and this is reflected in today’s run which has me stopping after my dubious 27 minute 5k for a bit of a walk. And there was me thinking I was going to come out today to break all land/speed records. Ho hum.

I walk/run the rest of the way and as I’m going through a particularly deserted bit there’s a young lad by the railings crouching and looking at his phone. I’m deciding whether to be scared or not and I decide not to be scared as it’s a gorgeous day and loads of people around and he walks towards me and I think he’s going to ask me the time or something and I must have my worried look on my face (in fact, I think that’s probably my usual look) and he puts his hands up and says “it’s ok, don’t be scared” and I smile and say “it’s ok, I thought you were going to say something” and I carry on walking/running and I get home after doing the slowest 10k ever (although the Sportband has registered this as 7.2 miles) and I’m going to need to speed up as I’ve got a 10k race in about 3 weeks. And a 5k in about a month. And it’s about time I managed a 5k in less than 30 minutes.

Back to the Sportband. Did I like it? Hmm, yes and no. The display is small and a bit hard to read, although this is because the band is small and cool, unlike my Garmin which takes up half my arm and is neither small nor cool. Also, because I am so used to the Garmin telling me on one screen my distance and pace, having to press a button on the run to scroll through the different units might take a bit of getting used to. Saying that though, distance is the default and that’s the only one I’m really interested in while I’m on the move so I’m probably being picky.

Set up was easy as was uploading the data. Stick the link in a USB port and you’re done. Your run gets automatically uploaded to the Nike+ website and there you can view some pretty graphs and get the code for a widget on your blog/website/social networking page. There’s lots of other ways to waste your time on the Nike+ website too that I haven’t fully explored yet.

Pros:
No need to stand around for three hours waiting for a satellite signal
Looks cool
Doesn’t take up half your arm or make you look like a Star Trek extra
Can get pretty graphs from the Nike+ website

Cons:
Needs calibrating
Small display
Fiddly button while on the move
Need Nike shoes or pay extra for a pouch or use masking tape and look like a freak

Summary
Looks cool, might work well when calibrated, probably won’t be taking over from my Garmin but would wear on a treadmill

Stats (Garmin)
Distance: 6.22 miles
Time: 1:15:14
Pace: 12:05 m/m
Calories: 601
Huge blisters: 1
Weird alien pointing things: 1
Nike+ Sportbands: 1
Fake 27 minute 5ks: 1
Stats: (Nike+ Sportband)
Distance: 7.19 miles
Time: 1:15:14
Pace: 10:28 m/m
Music
Jeff Buckley
Secret Machines
The Ruts
Jamiroquai
Muse
The Go! Team
Lush
Jane’s Addiction
Marc Almond
The Cooper Temple Clause

Due to my hangover testifying that red wine, white wine and champagne aren’t a good mix, I wake up and think I’ll go out for my eight miles tomorrow instead of today and then I remember the text last night from Tracey which said did I want to go for a free drink tomorrow in Ilford and then into town for another free drink at a casino and instead of replying no I have to stay in and drink water and get up and run eight miles and anyway I have no desire to go to Ilford due to me spending the first 19 years of my life there and it being full of Essex people and I don’t want to go gambling, the lure of the words “free” and “drink” compel me to text back and say yeah, sounds good, email me details.

And I look out of the window and it is a nice bright sunny day and I think I bet it’s nice over the marshes but it’s still not motivating me very much but I get changed into my running kit and go outside and do my usual sit on the wall thing and wait for a satellite which takes longer now due to me being addicted to the Nokia Sports Tracker website so now I have to take my N95 out with me which takes ages and ages to pick up a signal but it does eventually and I shove it in my pocket where I promise myself it will stay for the duration of the eight miles and not get taken out of my pocket for any photo based emergencies.

It’s busy over the marshes and I think don’t these people know the marshes are for my sole use only? well, me and the Kingsway International Christian Centre who I am reliably informed is the biggest church in London, if not the UK, anyway. At least until 9 January when they take down their big metal triangle and remove it from the marshes and the marshes can get on with its important task of being a nature reserve.

Amongst the people is a couple running and the bloke’s wearing a rucksack and the girl isn’t and I wonder if he’s carrying all her stuff and I decide he probably is and I wonder if she had to ask him or if he just offered and I decide he looks gentlemanly and probably didn’t have to be asked and just offered and then they get to the cattle grid and he runs over it while she stops and tentatively walks across it and then I get to the cattle grid and stop and tentatively walk across it and then they’re up to the ice rink and I think please don’t be going into Hackney Marshes as I don’t want to follow you for the next six miles and they turn off and I think hooray and then I think oh actually, as I’m just about to go into Hackney Marshes, the entire population can escort me if it wants to, as long as it buggers off once we get back to Walthamstow and there’s quite a few people over Hackney Marshes too and I think the nice weather must have brought people out and then I see a man in a Rasta hat down by the river and I wonder if he’s rolling a spliff and then I think that is a huge generalisation but I decide he probably is rolling a spliff anyway and wonder if he’ll give me a puff but then I remember that I don’t smoke and never liked dope anyway and then I see some more exercise related things that I never noticed before and there’s an arm stretch but it’s so high up and the only person I know tall enough to reach it is Bear and I think he probably doesn’t frequent Hackney Marshes that often and in fact has probably never even been to Hackney Marshes and even if he had, I’m even more sure that Hackney Council probably didn’t build an arm stretch just for him.

I’m back in Walthamstow and running up to where I think the cows live now and I look at my Garmin and I think I’m on track for my fastest 10k ever and I get to where the cows should be but they’re not there and I must have got it wrong where I thought they were in relation to where I saw them as I thought today’s route would take me nearer them and I’m wondering where they are and I think they must be the other side of the railway bridge but you can’t really get through there to anywhere and I look at my Garmin and wonder what is more important, a 10k PB or cows? and so I go through the bridge to look for the cows but it’s all muddy and I have to stop and I can’t get through there to anywhere so I turn around and go to go back through the underpass and a runner comes along and I stop to let him go first but he stops and turns back and I wonder if he’s taking the not dedicated to the public sign seriously and I go through the underpass and I remember the steep bit and I think if I walk up the steep bit I’m not going to get my fastest ever 10k time so I run up it and I look at my Garmin and it seems to be broken as the time seems to be ticking away but the mileage seems to have stopped but eventually it does get to 10k in 1:08 which, along with the 10k in which the football incident occurred, is my fastest ever, hurrah.

Then I’m on the most boring stretch of road in the world ever that leads out of the marshes and I’m thinking about the casino and I’m wondering if it’s smart dress only and am I going to have to wear a dress and heels as I’m not a girly girl and I only wear jeans and Converse and I have a hangover and hangover and heels do not mix, they mix even less well than eight miles and hangovers and I look at my Garmin and it’s on seven miles exactly and I get to the park and it’s on 7.3 miles and I’m thinking one lap of the park is point 4 miles I think and can I wimp out after 7.7 miles as I am extremely knackered and I think no, no wimping out, so I go round the park and then it gets to 7.5 miles and I think point 5 to go, that’s ok, then I realise that point 5 is half a mile and half a mile sounds far and I think I. Can. Not. Run. For. A. Nother. Half. A. Mile. And there’s a man throwing a stick for a dog and he smiles and says morning and I attempt to smile back but not sure if I managed it and I still haven’t done 8 miles and I think I can’t go round the park again as the man will say hello again and I’ll have to attempt to smile again and it was hard enough the first time and I leave the park as I have to investigate the bus stop anyway to see what times the buses are that will take me to my Essex homeland and so I do some bus stop investigating and it says it takes 43 minutes and I think can I sit on a bus for 43 minutes? Eek.

Stats:
Distance: 8.04 miles
Time: 1:25:40
Pace: 10:38
Calories: 756
Photo based emergencies: 0
Music:
No Doubt
The Polyphonic Spree
Faith No More
The Cure
Idle Vice Pirate
The Secret Machines
Ash
Tricky
The Crescent

My schedule has me down for 6 miles before Friday, as last week started on Friday and I was under instructions not to take any photos and I promise myself that I won’t take any photos but I have to take the N95 because I found out from Warriorwoman that there’s a new version of the Sports Tracks software and a rather nifty website to upload all your stats to, so what’s a geek girl to do, but to run off and get the software and test out the new website.  Cool.

I get outside the house and there’s a dead rat and I instinctively go to get my camera out of my pocket but remember the no photo rule and think no one’s going to want to see a photo of a dead rat anyway and I go and sit on the wall while my Garmin and my N95 pick up a satellite.  Last time I took my N95 out for its GPS purposes instead of its photo emergency purpose or phone for help in an emergency purpose, it didn’t seem to keep a signal in my pocket but this time I just think fuck it, I’m not holding it, it can go in my pocket and I’ll see if it can keep up, I have the Garmin for back up anyway.

I get to my favourite bridge and I think I’m going to turn left and see if the cows have been moved down there because I’ve never been down there but it only brings me back to the first bridge and so I turn back round and head off towards the new strange building and on the other side of the marshes I SEE THE COWS.  Yah.  But they’re on the other side and too far away for me to take a picture but obviously I am still adhering to the no photo rule and I wonder if the no photo rule applies to cows and I decide it probably does and even maybe especially does and I think bollocks, I won’t be coming back that way either but never mind and I get further along and there’s a sign that tells me what the new building is.   And this is definitely a photo emergency so I take a picture.

It’s definitely not a roast potato factory.  It’s a Christian centre which is obviously what we need built in the middle of a fucking nature reserve.  But it’s going after 9 January 2008, hurrah.  And I don’t need a roast potato factory anyway as I took the plunge and made roast potatoes on Christmas Day for the first time ever and very nice they were too.  I am a potato goddess.

I drag myself round Hackney Marshes and I see the cutest puppy in the world ever, made even more cute by the fact he’s wearing a bandana round his neck and it reminds me of my old cat Stupid who had a bandana round her neck and looked very cute too and I wonder how accommodating my current cat would be if I tried to put a bandana round her neck and I decide she would probably try to kill me.

I eventually get home after the slowest 10k in the world ever and the N95 has managed to keep its signal even from my pocket and I upload the stats to the website which I’m not going to link to here as people can zoom right in but here’s a screenshot.

And it even grasses you up for taking pictures by putting a little camera icon on the map where you took a picture.  Cool.

Stats (from the Garmin):
Distance: 6.67 miles
Time: 1:17:28
Pace: 11:37
Calories: 627
Cows: 6
Christian centres: 1
Puppies with bandanas: 1
Music:
Ween
Manic Street Preachers
Devo
The Gossip
The Young Knives
The Specials
Madness
Baby Teeth
The Polyphonic Spree
Faith No More
Transvision  Vamp
Kasabian
B52s
Baby Bird
Terrorvision
Cardiacs
Cribs
Citizen Fish

Due to me staying up late making this bracelet in a bid to progress in my new career as a famous jewellery designer

I get up late and think oh shit, it’s a bit late now to go over the marshes and I pick up my phone to check for messages and then I’m reminded that I want to try out Sports Tracker so I get up and get changed and put my N95 out into the garden to get a satellite and it does get a satellite and so I say bye to the cat and go and sit on the wall and wait for my Garmin to pick up a signal and I think duh I could have put it out in the garden at the same time as the N95 and then the Garmin’s ready and I switch both on and I think I’ll have to carry the N95 which is a pain but I can’t see it working in my pocket even if Tracey says hers works in her flat and I think she must have moved into a tent and didn’t tell me because how can it work through walls? and I shut the slider and it doesn’t like it and the signal goes so I slide it up again and it comes back on and I think I don’t really want to carry it but I’ll have to and I get to the marshes and then I’m wondering if I can use Sports Tracker and the camera at the same time but I don’t go near the cows but I can see them and they’re near the fence and I think typical, the only time I don’t go near the cows they’re right by the fence and they must have known and I think cool, psychic cows, and then I go under the bridge and stop to walk up the really steep hill and then I’m on the most boring mile stretch in the world ever

and there aren’t even any cows on this bit although there is a lake and the occasional Canadian Goose and I get home and try to work out how to get the data from my phone onto my pc and it saves the route map as a screenshot

and it can also be exported to Google Earth

which tells me where I went the fastest but very tactfully doesn’t tell me where you went the slowest but that’s probably because it was all slow and there wouldn’t be enough room on the map to write the word slow all over it but my fastest was very very fast indeed according to my phone as it says my max speed was 37mph which is equivalent to 1:37 minute miles and I think wow, I’m faster than I thought, I really am a finely tuned athlete after all, hurrah.

Garmin stats:
Distance: 3:00 miles
Time: 33:42
Pace: 11:13
Calories: 291
Psychic cows: 6
Sports Tracker stats:
Duration: 33:43.76
Distance: 3.19 miles
Speed avg: 5.7mph
Speed max: 37.0mph
Pace avg: 10:35 min/mile
Pace max: 1:37 min/mile
Music:
The Killers
The Cure
Manic Street Preachers
Jamiroquai

My boss has spent the day steadily creeping back to his old ways, although trying to cover it with a smile, and I think well that’s a week longer than I thought it’d take, I only gave him four days so two week’s not bad, and I go home growling but slightly cheered by the fact that I can try out my new toy and I get home and I realise my phone’s about to run out of battery so I put it on charge then I go downstairs and feed the cat and eek this spider’s on the ceiling in the kitchen

and I’m scared of spiders and so I text Bear and send him a picture of the spider and say help there’s a spider in the kitchen, eek, but he doesn’t say don’t panic, I’ll be right over, he just texts back and says that’s a big one and I think what if the spider’s gone when I come back, that’s even worse than it still being in the same place because how do I know it’s left the building and isn’t just sitting somewhere else, maybe getting comfy in my bed or something? but I decide to be brave and go for my run anyway and not sit in the kitchen all night on spider watch and I wonder if my cat can get up a ladder and eat it for me and I decide she probably can’t and I go and get my phone and my Garmin as I’m not trusting my phone to work and I go and sit on the wall and my Garmin gets a signal in a few seconds but my phone’s not doing anything and so I walk up the road a bit and keep waiting and keep waiting but it’s still not picking up a signal and I think maybe it’s too built up, maybe I should go home and put it in the garden but then I think if I do that there’s  no way I’ll get out the door again and so I put the phone in my pocket and head off for my old three mile route and it doesn’t take me long before I’m reminded why I don’t like running round the streets in the evening and that’s because there’s so much traffic and people and I have to stop every few feet for a road or a person or even worse a fucking cyclist on the pavement who needs shooting, especially the one that nearly ran me over going the wrong way up a one way street after work, but after a mile and a half it clears a bit and I start enjoying my run and think it’s nice to run in the dark with a nice cool breeze and I look at my Garmin and I think I don’t think this is going to be 3 miles, this must be the 2.7 mile route and I think oh well, I’ll just do 2.7 miles and I get home and feel unstressed and I upload the data and I’ve gone a lot quicker than I’ve managed in the last few weeks and I think to myself I must go running outside in the evening more often, yay.

Stats:
Distance: 2.79 miles
Time: 29:39
Pace: 10:38
Calories: 270
Big spiders in the kitchen: 1
Music:
Devo
Editors
Eminem