Dymchurch Marathon 2015 Training: Week 4

Yesterday, I started to write a post about how I haven’t been slacking off, but that post was flatter than a can of Coke that had been left open for three weeks and so I spared you all and deleted it.

However, in case you’d been wondering – what with the lack of marathon training updates – if I had been slacking, then I’m here to tell you that no, I haven’t. Whoop.

But (you knew there was a ‘but’ coming, didn’t you?), I probably should confess that I’ve ignored the Thursday runs my schedule has down for me but, as far as I’m concerned, it’s not possible to slack off something you had no intention of doing in the first place.

Anyway, so now I’ve confessed to not slacking, I’m going to confess to not slacking again. I really didn’t fancy a 5 mile run today, so I asked Twitter if I could go to the gym instead and Twitter – bless it and all who Tweets in it – replied.

That was good enough for me (although the only weakness I could see the gym highlighting for me was my ‘slacking off to the gym’ weakness*). This next reply was also good enough for me:

and the confirmations I wasn’t a slacker just kept coming:

and so off I skipped to the gym, happy in my heart that I wasn’t a slacker. But… then… oh no… Twitter must have been broken because it was letting Tweets disagreeing with me through, like this one:

and this one (although this was more encouraging than disagreeing):

but it was too late – I’d already been to the gym. While I was there though, I did 20 minutes on the rowing machine, 15 minutes on the treadmill and 5 miles on the cross-trainer (that’s about all we have in my little local gym – nothing posh like a vibration plate or anything, not that I’m complaining; I love my little gym) and, seeing as those 5 miles were the 5 miles I was supposed to run, I’m considering this valid marathon training.

*’weakness’ reminded me of this scene from Trainspotting. (Please note I am not advocating a) taking speed before a job interview; or b) telling an interviewer your weakness is that you’re a perfectionist. If you do that, you’re a nincompoop.) 

Juneathon Day 27 – Warning: Contains A Bit Of Swearing

This is what I posted on the Juneathon Facebook Page this morning:

Juneathon Facebook page screenshot

The clean version

When I said ‘scuppered’, what I really meant (and what David was referring to) was this:

Facebook status update screenshot

The slightly more Tourettes version

 

Yes, parkrun fucking well fucked up my fucking challenge that I’d been fucking looking forward to for fucking weeks.

*Non-sweary bit*

In case you don’t know what my challenge was, I’d challenged myself to run my local parkrun at 9am, then get to the gym in time to do a spin class at 10am. Although there are only two miles between the park and gym, given how slow I am at a) running; and b) cycling, an hour – although not impossible – would be cutting it fine but, as long as the parkrun started on time, my challenge would be completed successfully and I could spend the rest of Saturday walking around saying things like, ‘yay, go me and my successfully completed challenges’.

*End of non-sweary bit*

But, did it start on time? OF COURSE IT FUCKING DIDN’T. I got to the park with plenty of time to spare but the introductory talk thing didn’t start until 9:05 and instead of just getting on with it and starting the run, the bloke started doing the crappy clapping everyone thing and so I thought fuck it, this is going to go on for at least another five minutes, I’m going to the gym, as I don’t want to miss spin and so I fucked off from the stupid fucking parkrun and went to the gym and went on the rowing machine and treadmill instead before going to spin.

Stupid fucking parkrun fucking up my fucking challenge.

Bah.

Stats

Running: 0 miles because stupid fucking parkrun
Challenges completed successfully: 0 because stupid fucking parkrun
Cycling: 4 pointless miles because stupid fucking parkrun
Rowing machine: 15 minutes because stupid fucking parkrun
Treadmill: 15 minutes because stupid fucking parkrun
Spin: 45 minutes. Yay for spin

Juneathon Days 21 and 22 – No Slactivities For Me

Friends of Pilgrim Hospice Social Rides

I’m fourth from left in the pink top and pink shoes. A lovely summer’s day at the seaside. Brr.

Ha, you thought I’d slacked off yesterday, didn’t you? Well, I’m here to tell all you disbelievers that I didn’t slack off, so there. In fact, I went on a 30 mile bike ride yesterday (after getting the day right). I couldn’t be bothered to blog when I got in and sat and read my book in the conservatory instead (Twenty Thousand Streets Under The Sky by Patrick Hamilton, in case you’re interested. I love Patrick Hamilton. If you haven’t already, read Hangover Square, it’s brilliant.) and then later on, I sort of forgot. That’s ‘sort of forgot’, as in ‘totally forgot because I ate pizza and drank wine and then watched crap all night on telly instead’.

This morning I went to the gym and did 20 minutes on the rowing machine, 22 minutes on the treadmill doing Audiofuel’s 180 Pyramid Max interval session, then 20 minutes on the cross-trainer. I also booked spin classes for tomorrow evening and Saturday morning. As you’ll remember (if you’ve been paying attention that is but, if not why not, hmm?), I challenged myself to a parkrun/spin challenge. The challenge involves running parkrun quick enough, then cycling back quick enough to get to the spin class in time. To be honest, although the timing is quite tight, it’s nowhere near impossible and unless my legs or wheels fall off or an unlikely but extremely unlucky combination of both, it should be fine. Touch wood, fingers crossed, stroke a black cat, etc.

Also this morning, Carla, Rachel and I have been discussing arrangements for Sunday’s Great Kent Bike Ride (where fellow Juneathoner Helen will also be joining us). It didn’t take long for the discussion to turn to where we’ll be eating and drinking after the ride and we are all now looking forward to our Wetherspoon roast. Yum.

You may be wondering where my marathon training is going to fit into all this spinning and cycling. I’ve been wondering the same thing myself and have decided Saturday’s long run of 7 miles is going to happen on Wednesday, although I’m supposed to be doing 4 miles tomorrow, so it’ll probably be more of a 7 mile walk.

Stats

Cycling: 30 miles
Rowing machine: 20 minutes
Treadmill: 22 minutes
Cross-trainer: 20 minutes
parkrun/spin challenges coming up: 1
Great Kent Bike Rides coming up: 1
Wetherspoon roasts looking forward to: 1

Juneathon Day 8 – A New Week In Which To Redeem Myself

Sennheiser Thru the Gears

The first week of Juneathon is over and now begins a whole new fresh week – a week in which I can hopefully redeem myself after the slackathon that began the first week.

I had planned to run today but when I got up, my legs were still aching from last week’s run (although I don’t think they can still be aching from last week’s run; it must be from something else. What that something else is though, I haven’t a clue. Maybe lack of crisps or something.) so I decided to go to the gym and go on the rowing machine which usually sorts any DOMS out.

But because I had planned to run though, and because I am supposed to be marathon training training – especially as marathon training singular starts next week, eek – I thought I’d do some intervals on the treadmill when I got to the gym. Intervals are an integral part of training, after all.

So, I did 30 minutes on the rowing machine, then as I was scrolling through my Audiofuel playlist looking for the Pyramid Max 180 interval session, I saw the Sennheiser Thru The Gears track which is my absolute favourite Audiofuel track as it gives you such a fantastic workout on the treadmill, so I gave that a blast, then I went on the cross-trainer for 20 minutes.

Not a bad workout for a Monday, eh?

Well done everyone on your efforts throughout the first week of Juneathon – I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves. Personally, it’s given me the boost I needed to motivate me to get back into exercising as I’ve been a bit slack over the last few weeks. Hopefully it’ll give me a good base for the beginning of my marathon training too.

Oh, and I promise to run tomorrow. Punky promise. (That’s pinky promise as autocorrected by my phone.)

Stats

Rowing machine: 30 minutes
Treadmill: 15 minutes
Cross-trainer: 20 minutes
Juneathon’s completed: 6/30

Juneathon Day 6 – An Ultra-Parkrun And A Sunny Spin Class

Sunshine

Helen left a comment on yesterday’s post suggesting we go to our respective parkruns and give each other a virtual high-five. We did this a while back as we’d both been slacking in our running (she probably had a good excuse like just having had a baby or something and I probably had a slightly less good excuse like just having been to the pub or something) but Helen is now running regularly and recently ran London Marathon, whereas I have done fuck all by way of running for weeks and so I’d only be high-fiving myself which, let’s face it, would look a bit weird.

And, anyway, I’d booked to go to spin and although on a good day, I could get back in time from parkrun for the class, I didn’t think today would be one of those good days so I said I’d do 5k on the treadmill at 9am instead.

However, when I woke up, my legs, shoulders and arms were aching. Plus, it was after 9am when I got to the gym and I didn’t think I’d have time to do 5k on the treadmill before spin so I decided to do 5k on the rowing machine instead. This plan was scuppered (don’t you just love the word ‘scuppered’?) when my heels kept slipping out of my trainers. This has never happened before so maybe along with my recent weight-loss my feet have also shrunk. Still, after pulling my trainers back up for the third time in five minutes, I unsurprisingly lost my patience and abandoned the rowing machine and decided to do 5k on the cross-trainer instead. This took about 20 minutes and I still had time left before my spin class, so I did another mile and decided that meant I’d done an ultra-parkrun. Get me and my highfalutin ultrarunner ways.

After my ultra, I ambled over to the room in which the spin class is taken and found an empty room. ALL THE SPIN BIKES HAD BEEN STOLEN BY FAT THIEVES WHO WANTED TO GET THEIR BEACH BODIES READY FOR SUMMER.

Gits.

Except they hadn’t been stolen – by fat thieves who wanted to get their beach bodies ready for summer or otherwise – the instructor had moved them all outside so we could have a sunny spin class. Yay.

I have decided though that a parkrun/get-back-in-time-for-spin challenge would be a good Juneathon thing and, unless I get a better offer for the morning of Saturday 27 June, this will be happening then.

Stats

Rowing machine: about 5 minutes
Cross-trainer: about 26 minutes / 4.2 miles
Spin class: a sunny 45 minutes
Juneathon’s completed: 4/30

 

 

Sgt FitFlo’s Going To Help Me

Don't be deceived by the lack of mouth. Sgt FitFlo can ROAR.

Don’t be deceived by the lack of mouth. Sgt FitFlo can ROAR.

FitFlo called me a slacker on my blog yesterday. She said – and I quote – ‘Slacker – get out and do some running!’ Well, I never knew she had it in her to be so Sergeant Majorish, so I did what I was told and this morning I went to the gym and along with 20 minutes on the rowing machine and 20 minutes on the cross-trainer, I did 15 minutes on the treadmill, listening to Audiofuel’s Thru The Gears. If you haven’t got Thru The Gears – get it. It’s fabulous and free and has plinky plonky pianos and at the finish it speeds up and WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH – there’s engines and guitars a-blazing – you’re full of adrenaline and you get to the end and think HELL YEAH! and if you weren’t in the gym, you’d be lying back, lighting up a cigarette and/or turning over and going back to sleep.

You can download it here.

At least FitFlo outing me for being a slacker reminded me of this song, which is one of my all time favourites.

Love it.

 

Juneathon 2014 – Days 25 and 26 – All The Exercise

Well, I certainly can’t be accused of slacking yesterday, even if I didn’t blog in the evening. I’m not much of an evening blogger – I’m not much of an evening anything, really. I used to blog all the time in the evening as I used to blog as soon as I’d come back from a run, whatever time that was, even if if was straight after a run commute from work. So, yes, my blogging over the years has definitely slacked off – a bit like my running, I suppose.

Anyway, yesterday morning I went for a five mile run, then in the evening I went to the gym and spent 30 minutes on the rowing machine, then 15 minutes on the cross-trainer, before going to a 45 minute spin class. This morning, I had planned to do my body pump DVD (the 30 minutes of it I like, anyway) but I couldn’t be bothered. However, as we all know, in Juneathon slacking is not an option, so I got on with it.

I do need to do some walking later though as I was perturbed to see I’d lost my number one position on the Fitbit leaderboard and after holding the top spot for a few days, I’ve become pettily competitive about it and I want to be number one again. Stupid Fitbit.

Janathon Day 29 – forgetfulness

I did a new body pump DVD this morning then went to the gym and went on the cross-trainer and went on the treadmill then when I got home I was going to blog but ran out of time because I was going out to lunch

lentil-nut-and-quinoa-burger

and when I got back, I’d forgotten all the things I was going to put in my blog.

Probably wasn’t very interesting anyway, although I do seem to remember it was going to contain the word ‘wankers’.

Janathon Day 26 – 10,000 steps by 11am

I slept really badly last night, the only good bit was the dream I had about finding a puppy hiding in the toilet, although it was disappointing when I woke up and there was no puppy.

My Fitbit tracks my sleep and it told me I woke up eleven times, which is probably about right but it also said I slept at 97% efficiency. Waking up eleven times doesn’t sound like 97% efficiency to me.

sleep

My Fitbit also tracks how many steps I take (in fact, it seems to be just an overpriced pedometer really, although some people absolutely love theirs – I’m still waiting to love mine) and when I got back from the gym this morning, it sent me a badge to say I’d done my daily target of 10,000.

10000-steps

When I got to the gym, there was a tall bloke on the treadmill and it reminded me of one of the guests on Friday’s Room 101 when he said he gets annoyed when people go up to him and say ‘you’re tall’ like he doesn’t know he’s tall and I thought uh oh, I may have once or twice* gone up to a tall bloke and poked him in the chest and said, ‘you’re tall’ but, in my defence, I haven’t said ‘you’re tall’ to inform him he’s tall in case he hadn’t noticed, I’ve said it to take his mind off me poking him in the chest.

 

*every time I’m drunk and there’s a tall man in my vicinity**.

**not a euphemism.

Janathon Day 22 – sitting is apparently the new rowing

I almost turned into one of those silly obsessives this morning. After drinking a bottle and a half of wine last night, one of my first thoughts this morning was GOTTA BURN ALL THOSE CALORIES OFF but we all know it’s thoughts like that that lead to eating disorders and so instead I thought GOTTA DO MY JANATHON and dragged myself off to the gym after I’d finished offending a friend on Facebook (I don’t know why she was offended, I only said she looked like a prostitute).

paris

I was happily rowing on the rowing machine when a man sat down on the one next to me. And continued to sit. And sit. And sit and sit and sit and I thought JUST ROW ON THE MACHINE, DAMMIT but he continued to sit and this annoyed me so much I got up and flounced over to the cross-trainer and he continued to sit for another two and a half minutes then started to row, yay, but only for four minutes, then he stopped and sat again.

Another thing that annoyed me in the gym today was people talking. People should not be allowed to talk in gyms unless it’s ‘ouch’, ‘help’, or ‘call an ambulance’.

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