Category: Marathon training

A Poem for the Dymchurch Marathoners

6 comments

After being hideously slow during the Folkestone Half a few weeks ago, I knew I wouldn’t make the cut-off for Dymchurch Marathon tomorrow so, to do my bit, instead I wrote a poem for those who are.

Good luck to Helen, Cassie, Louise, Rachel and anyone else doing Dymchurch tomorrow. You’ll have earnt those medals!

A Poem for the Dymchurch Marathoners

A marathon is a lot of miles
and I hope you’ve done your training,
because a marathon still goes ahead
even if it’s raining.

It’s not due to rain tomorrow,
although you should expect a gale,
and it’s probably best to cross your fingers
you don’t get caught in hail.

I’m sure you’ll think I don’t give a fuck
when I’m not there to say good luck,
it’s just that I’m extremely sad
I won’t be getting a goody bag.

The medal is so very cool,
you’ll all have deffo earnt it,
by running in the wind and cold
knackered, feeling shit.

I hope you like my little poem,
it only took a minute.
So go and run the race tomorrow,
and I’ll stay in the warm, innit.

Giveaway: Win a High 5 Marathon Race Pack!

84 comments

The less said about my marathon training the better. Despite having a plan, and planning to stick to my plan, my plan so far hasn’t really gone to plan.

I did, however, sort-of successfully complete a 12 mile run a week or so ago, with ‘sort-of successfully’ meaning I managed to do the twelve miles within the minimum 13 minute miles I need to do to finish Dymchurch Marathon within the six-hour cut-off time and claim my medal and goody bag before everyone’s packed up and gone home, a-la London Duathlon 2013.

But since that twelve mile run, I’ve done what I believe the technical term for is ‘fuck all’. I haven’t even been to the gym or gone on a walk. I cycled to the station on Saturday but although I would count that as a valid form of exercise during an ‘athon, I’m not sure I can call it cross-training for a marathon.

Despite all this slacking though, I’ve entered the Folkestone Half Marathon which is taking place this Sunday. If I run it this time as badly as I ran it last time (limping over the finish line in about 3 hours) then I’ll probably decide the marathon isn’t for me and hope Helen, Cassie and Rachel don’t find out I’ve wimped out and never talk to me again.

Don’t be a loser like me – enter my giveaway and win stuff

Anyway, just because I’m a loser who has lost the ability to run quicker than I can walk, doesn’t mean everyone else is and so, if you’re training for a marathon and would like to win some stuff to help you fuel before, during and after training and the race itself, then I’ve got just the giveaway for you.

High 5 marathon race pack

Win all these things

High 5 marathon race pack

High 5 marathon race pack

What’s in the box

High 5 marathon race pack

Suitable for vegetarians, yay

Maxi Milk Maxi Nutrition Recovery Protein Shake

The winner will also receive a case of 6 chocolate protein shakes

With thanks to Discount Supplements, one winner will receive:

  • an XL Nutrition High Protein Flapjack Jumbo Bar;
  • a case of 6 Maxi Milk Maxi Nutrition Recovery Protein Shakes; and
  • a High 5 Marathon Race Pack containing:
    • Iso gel plus x 1
      • Iso gel x 2
      • Energygel plus x 4
      • Energygel x 8
      • Protein Sachet x 1
      • Energybar x 1
      • 10 tube zero x 1
      • 3 x sachet zero X’treme
      • Run Bottle
      • Run Lounge membership (3 month membership FOC)
      • Marathon Nutrition Guide

So, that’s everything you see in the photos (don’t worry, you’ll get a nice new one sent directly to you; you won’t be getting my battered and opened one).

How to enter

To be in with a chance of winning the High 5 Marathon Race Pack, just leave a comment below letting me know which marathon you would love to do if time, money, family commitments, etc., were no problem.

I’ll draw a winner at random after the closing date of Saturday, 24 October 2015.

UK entries only, sorry.

Dymchurch Marathon 2015 Training: Week 4

2 comments

Yesterday, I started to write a post about how I haven’t been slacking off, but that post was flatter than a can of Coke that had been left open for three weeks and so I spared you all and deleted it.

However, in case you’d been wondering – what with the lack of marathon training updates – if I had been slacking, then I’m here to tell you that no, I haven’t. Whoop.

But (you knew there was a ‘but’ coming, didn’t you?), I probably should confess that I’ve ignored the Thursday runs my schedule has down for me but, as far as I’m concerned, it’s not possible to slack off something you had no intention of doing in the first place.

Anyway, so now I’ve confessed to not slacking, I’m going to confess to not slacking again. I really didn’t fancy a 5 mile run today, so I asked Twitter if I could go to the gym instead and Twitter – bless it and all who Tweets in it – replied.

That was good enough for me (although the only weakness I could see the gym highlighting for me was my ‘slacking off to the gym’ weakness*). This next reply was also good enough for me:

and the confirmations I wasn’t a slacker just kept coming:

and so off I skipped to the gym, happy in my heart that I wasn’t a slacker. But… then… oh no… Twitter must have been broken because it was letting Tweets disagreeing with me through, like this one:

and this one (although this was more encouraging than disagreeing):

but it was too late – I’d already been to the gym. While I was there though, I did 20 minutes on the rowing machine, 15 minutes on the treadmill and 5 miles on the cross-trainer (that’s about all we have in my little local gym – nothing posh like a vibration plate or anything, not that I’m complaining; I love my little gym) and, seeing as those 5 miles were the 5 miles I was supposed to run, I’m considering this valid marathon training.

*’weakness’ reminded me of this scene from Trainspotting. (Please note I am not advocating a) taking speed before a job interview; or b) telling an interviewer your weakness is that you’re a perfectionist. If you do that, you’re a nincompoop.) 

Giveaway: Win 1 of 3 Foam Rollers from Hardcore Fitness!

39 comments
HardCore Fitness Foam Roller

HardCore Fitness Foam Roller

It occurred to me that yesterday’s post might have given the impression I’d been slacking. But… come on… AS IF! I haven’t been slacking, honest – I’ve been injured. And if you don’t believe me, you can ask Twitter. Just don’t ask Twitter when you’re busy, because, on a whim, I asked for advice while I was eating my lunch, then spent the rest of the day thanking people (and if anyone who gave me advice that day is reading this – thank you, again).

Twitter’s diagnosis for my ailment – after I’d given more information than, ‘Help me Twitter, my leg hurts’ – seemed to be quad/hip/adductor-related and someone helpfully sent me a video of a foam roller exercise.

But, alas, I didn’t have a foam roller so it was a happy coincidence when HardCore Fitness got in touch and asked me if I wanted to try out one of theirs. I’d only heard bad things in relation to foam rollers before – mostly centering around the word ‘ouch’, but I had a bad leg and I was desperate not to fuck up my marathon training (you’re not buying that at all, are you? You know I just wanted a freebie) so I said, ‘Yeah, man, bring it on’. (The words I actually used may have been more along the lines of, ‘Yes please’, but you get the gist.)

HardCore Fitness Foam Roller

As mentioned above, my knowledge of foam rollers only went as far as ‘ouch’, so I’m not going to pretend I know whether HardCore Fitness’s one is any better than any other but what I can tell you is that considering how light it is (about 600g), it’s surprisingly robust and sturdy and when you do your exercises on it, you can really feel it. And it wasn’t ‘ouch’, it was actually quite nice, although I can see where the ‘ouch’ would come in if your muscles were particularly achy that day.

HardCore Fitness Foam Roller

HardCore Fitness are so sure of their foam roller’s indestructibility, they offer a lifetime guarantee with each one. With each one, they also give away a free 33 page ebook full of exercises.

Foam roller exercises ebook

Free 33-page ebook with each foam roller

Giveaway: Win 1 of 3 HardCore Fitness Foam Rollers

You want a foam roller now, don’t you? It’s just as well I have 3 to give away then, isn’t it?

All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning is answer this question:

Which marathon have I entered?

a) Dymsynagogue Marathon

b) Dymchurch Marathon

c) Dymosque Marathon

Leave your answer in the comments and I’ll pick 3 winners after the closing date of Saturday 12 September 2015.

UK entries only, sorry.

Thanks to HardCore Fitness for supplying me with a foam roller to review and for the ones to give away.

New Plan on Tuesday

4 comments

My computer ate my marathon training schedule. Is that the best excuse ever for slacking, or is it up there with ‘the dog ate my homework’?

My guess is the latter, especially as there is obviously more than one training schedule in the entire universe. It’s just that I liked that one – it could be downloaded and imported into my Outlook calendar and if I didn’t fancy training that day, I could satisfyingly click the delete button and – whoosh! – it had gone like it never said ‘go and run, you lazy moo, you’ve got a marathon to train for’ in the first place.

However, neither a) pressing the delete button; nor b) having my computer eat my training schedule means that I don’t actually have a marathon to run at the end of November, so I thought I’d better get myself a new training schedule. This new-found motivation was partly helped by getting inspired after nipping down the road to Wye on Sunday to see Louise shortly after she’d finished running the Centurion 100. For those of you who don’t know what that is, the Centurion 100 is a running race of 100 miles. I know… hardcore. Louise is especially hardcore as it’s the third 100 mile race in a series of four she’s done this year and if you do all four you get a special t-shirt and a piggyback from Mo Farah. (I might have made up the Mo Farah bit.)

Centurion 100

Louise enjoying a veggie sausage sandwich after running 100 miles

So, off to the Hal Higdon website I went to get me a new marathon training plan. Here it is.

Hal Higdon novice marathon training plan

Hal Higdon novice marathon training plan

Because I had to buy a new computer and my new computer doesn’t have Outlook or any decent email program on it, I couldn’t get an electronic schedule and had to go old school and print one off on to paper. Then, because it’s an eighteen-week schedule and my marathon’s in sixteen weeks, I had to use one of those old-fashioned pen things and cross out the first two weeks.

But, as you can see, I successfully completed day one by resting and I even successfully completed day two by going out for a three mile run this morning. And, yay me – I did it without stopping to walk like a lame-o and even managed sub-11:30 minute miles. This might be because I left the house at 8:20am and needed to be back by 9am for a delivery but you’ve got to get your incentive to work harder from somewhere, haven’t you?

As an added bonus, I even inadvertently GPSd myself a moose’s head.

A moose drawn with GPS

A moose, do you think?

I usually manage to slack off Wednesday’s running by going on a walk, but I haven’t got any walks planned for tomorrow, so I might just do the 4 miles Hal wants me to do.

Or I might go and buy some Tippex.

Juneathon Day 25 – SKINS Running Tights Review

One comment

As I said earlier this week, I’d planned to do this Saturday’s scheduled 7 miles today because I’d decided at the beginning of Juneathon to do a parkrun/spin challenge this Saturday instead of sticking diligently to my marathon training schedule.

I woke up feeling rested, the sun was shining, my new pink running shoes were waiting for me and I also had the added motivation of a pair of SKINS A400 ¾ running tights that had been sent to me to try out.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of SKINS but, in case you haven’t, SKINS make compression clothing using something called Dynamic Gradient Compression which apparently means you can workout for longer and have less muscle pain the next day. This works by controlling the pressure over the ITB and TFL muscle groups and I’m not going to pretend I know about this kind of thing (as far as I’m concerned, TFL stands for Transport for London), so if you want to read about the science behind SKINS, you can fill your boots with all the techy stuff here.

Upon opening the packaging – a fancy box inside a cardboard sleeve, which undoubtedly ups the price of these running tights, which aren’t cheap at £90 – the first thing I noticed about the SKINS were that they were tiny. Like teeny-tiny. Like teeny-weeny-teeny-tiny. Like DO I LOOK LIKE I’M THE SIZE OF CHERYL COLE tiny.

Skins A400 women's running tights

You can’t tell from the photo just how tiny they are; I should have put my cat next to them for scale.

What intrigued me more than the Cheryl Cole-esque size was a label which said it mustn’t be removed. I have absolutely no idea why this label shouldn’t be removed. Any ideas?

Skins label

Why???????

I liked the smooth, shiny material but I had a bit of trouble pulling the tights up so the waistband wasn’t hugging my hips, but after my run, I read on the website that the ‘lower rise sits comfortably on hips’, which isn’t great for those of us with a bit of a belly. I prefer a higher waist on my running tights, otherwise I find they keep slipping down.

SKINS A400 women's running tights

So, now I was dressed in my new fancy running tights, it was time for my run.

SKINS A400 women's running tights

It didn’t start well. I spent the first mile tugging at one of my bra straps that had decided to be uncomfortable (I think it was irritating my sunburnt shoulder) and the SKINS running tights were the most uncomfortable things I had ever worn; they were too tight on my legs, the waistband kept slipping down and the bands at the bottom of the legs were threatening to cut the circulation off from my calves.

After the first mile though, my clothing stopped annoying me. My bra strap stopped irritating my sunburn and the SKINS got comfier. A lot comfier. Maybe they need breaking in or something but after a while they stopped being the most uncomfortable thing I’d ever worn and even the waistband stopped slipping down and decided to stay in place, and a waistband that doesn’t keep slipping down is really all I want from a pair of running tights.

So now I’d started going, I decided my goal for today’s run would be to run under 13 minute miles. I decided this when I kept stopping to walk because I thought it would spur me on to stop walking quite so much and, yay, it worked. Because the Dymchurch Marathon has a cut off of 6 hours, I reckoned if I can average 13 minute miles or under, I should make the cut off time but, according to Running Free Online, if I run the marathon like I ran today, I’m not going to make that cut off time. Dammit. Still, I have months and months to get fitter and faster.

marathon-estimate

Something that did make me smile, however, was the Great Kent Bike Ride pack that was waiting for me when I got back. It contained this year’s t-shirt that I’d ordered and IT’S BRIGHT FUCKING ORANGE.

Great Kent Bike Ride 2015 t-shirt

I love orange. I love orange so much that, many years ago, I thought about joining the Hare Krishnas when I saw them skipping down Oxford Street one day. I’m not sure if they were actually skipping but they looked so happy in their flowing orange robes, banging their tambourines, I wanted to join them and be happy and wear orange and bang tambourines down Oxford Street and stuff. But then I found out they didn’t eat garlic or onions and I thought fuck that.

Tomorrow is a rest day but, obviously, Juneathon doesn’t allow for proper rest days so I’ll go for a walk or something and I’ll also report back on whether the SKINS did their reduce DOMS thing or not. I can tell you this though; as I’m writing this post – 5 hours after returning from my run – my legs feel good. Maybe they do work after all.

Stats

Running: 7 miles
Pairs of posh new running tights: 1
Bright orange t-shirts: 1
Current thoughts of joining the Hare Krishnas: 0

 

 

Juneathon Day 24: Practically A Rest Day And A Question About Nutrition

Leave a comment

My marathon training schedule said, Bike: 30 minutes. It hardly seemed worth getting my bike out of the garage just to go on a 30 minute ride, then I thought but what about people without bikes? Surely most runners aren’t cyclists too? Perhaps it meant 30 minutes on a stationary bike but I didn’t want to go to the gym just to do 30 minutes on a stationary bike (if you want to know my thoughts on stationary bikes, you can read my stationary bike haiku here), so I decided to ponce about the countryside for half an hour on my pretty Lady of the Manor Bike.

Pashley Poppy

My beautiful Lady of the Manor bike

Before I ponced about the countryside (where I saw a crow peck at the remains of a squished pigeon, ick), I’d been to Tesco to buy a Trek Bar for Sunday’s Great Kent Bike Ride; not that a leisurely 30 mile bike ride needs any particular fuelling but because I don’t usually (for ‘usually’, read ‘ever’) have breakfast and so I knew I’d be starving well before lunchtime and, anyway, Trek Bars are yum.

This got me thinking about sports nutrition and supplements in general, especially as I’m *cough* marathon training (this is only the second week, the novelty will soon wear off, I promise) and nutrition will have to play a part in that somewhere.

I took running really seriously when I first started. I read all the books and even before I’d run my first 5k, I’d started looking at gels and protein shakes. I know, I know… stop laughing… I was an enthusiastic beginner, all excited about my new hobby. I’ve still never had a gel, but when I started running home from work, I fuelled up beforehand with a Trek Bar (like I said, any excuse) and then I discovered MaxiNutrition vanilla protein shakes in Holland & Barrett, which tasted like ice cream, so I decided I needed one of those on completion of each running commute.

Because I’ve barely ran over the last few years, I haven’t taken any notice of what I’ve eaten afterwards but, I suppose with my mileage hopefully increasing over the next few weeks, I’m going to have to start thinking about pre-, during- and post-run nutrition. Any tips? What do you eat and drink when you’re marathon training?

Stats

Cycling: 30-ish minutes / 6-ish miles

 

 

 

Juneathon Day 23 – Bad Mood

2 comments
Flowers, Willesborough Dykes footpath

Pretty flowers seen on today’s run (although this pic was taken a couple of weeks ago)

Yesterday, I said I was going to do this coming Saturday’s long run tomorrow, but today I changed my mind as I decided doing 7 miles the day after doing 4 miles wasn’t a good idea. Not because I’d be overdoing it but because I would undoubtedly end up walking 6.5 miles of the 7 miles and there wouldn’t even be a pub lunch at the end of it and I only walk for lunch.

So, the 7 miles will be done on Thursday and I’m not sure why I didn’t think of doing it on Thursday in the first place (and in case you’re wondering why I don’t do it on Friday, I’m going out Thursday night and no running ever takes place when I’ve been out the night before).

Back to today though. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that, if you go to bed with the hump but without any dinner, you’re not going to have much energy in the morning. But, although I woke up still in a bad mood, when even the thought of trying out my new running shoes didn’t cheer me up, I wasn’t in a bad enough mood to tell my marathon training schedule to fuck off, so I decided to do an out and back to get my 4 miles in.

While I was out, I wondered why I’d chosen to do an out and back, seeing as I hate out and backs. Then I realised it would be good training for the marathon because, not only is Dymchurch marathon an out and back, it’s an out and back and out and back and out again which made me wonder why I’d signed up to it in the first place, then I remembered the goody bag contains beer, crisps and chocolate.

Dymchurch goody bag

Will run for chocolate, crisps and cider

I’ve got to admit though, after being in Dymchurch on Sunday and looking up the sea wall at the route, I’m not looking forward to running up and down it for six hours in the freezing cold end-of-November weather.

Stats

Running: 4 miles
Bad moods: 1

 

 

 

 

Juneathon Day 19 – Slacking and Skull Disco Balls

2 comments
Running Free Online calendar showing the Juneathon activity so far

Running Free Online calendar showing the Juneathon activity so far

Last time I posted, I said I was off to London the next day and my activity would probably be a bar press up. Although I did visit a few bars – my favourite being the one with the skull disco ball, safari wallpaper and cocktails in teacups – I forgot to do a bar press up.

Skull disco ball in Simmons Bar, King's Cross

Skull disco ball pleases my inner goth

I did, however, walk the two miles to the station in the morning instead of getting a lift. That definitely counts.

On Sunday I did fuck all except walk to Tesco to buy wine. I’m not sure that counts.

On Monday I didn’t even walk to Tesco. That doesn’t count no matter how many ways I try to change ‘didn’t even walk to Tesco’ into something more strenuous.

Tuesday should have been the start of my marathon training but after three hours of trying unsuccessfully to tell myself to get out the door and go for a run, I decided I’d rather get dressed instead. I’m not sure ‘getting dressed’ counts.

Wednesday I cycled seven miles and walked seven miles. That even more definitely counts than ‘walked two miles to the station’.

Thursday was another ‘can’t be fucking arsed’ day, although I did go to the designer outlet and look at Asics running shoes, so maybe that counts?

Today – Friday – my marathon training schedule said I had to run three miles and I decided I would really hate myself if I slacked off another marathon training run, especially in the very first week, so I forced myself out the door and although I mostly walked the three miles, at least I did it.

Tomorrow, my marathon training schedule says I have to run six miles, so I’m hoping the motivation fairies visit me in the night.

Stats

Running: 3 miles (most of it walking)
Juneathons completed: some of them

Dammit, I’ve Gone And Entered A Marathon!

2 comments
Dymchurch marathon

Photo credit: http://www.saxon-shore.com/dymchurch/

Don’t laugh, but I’ve entered another marathon. I realise this makes it sound like I’ve already run about 16 of them but, as you’ll know, I haven’t actually ran any and apparently running four half-marathons doesn’t equate to two full ones, no matter how much I argue this – in my mind, perfectly valid – point.

Those of you who knew me in the days before I lost the jog in my blog will know I entered the Kent Coastal Marathon in 2008. I was all geared up for training for this. I was running consistently, I’d done a few 5ks, 10ks and a half-marathon and knew I had a marathon in me if I trained properly for one. But then I realised ‘training properly for one’ meant doing longish runs mid-week. I did one eight mile run mid-week, tacking a bit onto my 6 mile running commute then I found out MP3 players weren’t allowed in the marathon and I also found out the first half was hilly and so I thought, ‘sod that’ and that was the end of my first marathon.

The next year I got caught up in the excitement of the London Marathon when a lot of running friends got ballot places and so I entered the ballot, got rejected but continued trying and finally got a place the year before I would have got one of those ‘five rejections and you’re in’ places (that they no longer do).

I ended up deferring that place because I didn’t do any training (I’m sensing a theme here) but the next year I’d completely lost any interest I had in doing the London Marathon after going down to support and finding the crowds – to be blunt – did my fucking head in.

And there ended any interest I ever had in doing a marathon. Ever.

Until I saw the goody bag the Saxon Shore guys provide. They pride themselves on having unhealthy goody bags, mostly containing food and drink beginning with the letter C, e.g. cookies, cider (or Carling or Carlsberg), chocolate, cheddars and crisps. They even do a vegan version. And also, as anyone who’s taken part in one of their races can confirm, they do the coolest medals ever. Take a look at this beauty.

Dymchurch marathon medal 2014

Photo credit: http://runwithemmy.co.uk/?p=404

Helen and I briefly talked at the end of last year about doing the Dymchurch Marathon at the end of this year but then I forgot all about it. But then after Helen had to drop out of Brighton because of an injury and started to look for another marathon to do, I reminded her about this one. What started off as a throwaway comment ended up in a lengthy Twitter/Facebook conversation where I ended up saying ‘okay, I’ll do it’ (I might have had a few glasses of wine when I said this) but not leaving it at that but dragging Cassie, Rachel, Carla, David, Adele and Angela into it too. Cassie and Rachel are definite yeses. We’re still working on the others BUT THEY WILL SAY YES.

My training’s going really well. I’ve paid my entry fee and downloaded a training schedule. All I need to do now is the training but I’ve been told that’s the easy bit. Also, as the marathon’s at the end of November and along the seafront, it’s going to be flipping freezing, so I’m going to need some warm clothes – maybe some gloves and a hat from e-outdoor.co.uk or somewhere similar. 26.2 miles along the seafront in the winter – I must be mad.

Wish me luck!

1 2