Janathon Day 14: Almost cheated

I cycled to the station in the snow. I cycled back from the station in the rain. Would this count as Janathon, I wondered. A little voice in my head nagged at me, no it bloody doesn’t count, you know the rules. Janathon exercise is extra exercise, not something you’d do anyway. So, I listened to the little voice and when I got in, I did 15 minutes of weights in the conservatory with the lights off, in case next door saw me exercising in the cow socks and penguin pajama bottoms I’d got changed into.

Cycling in the snow: 3 miles
Cycling in the rain: 3 miles
Weights DVD: 15 minutes
Pairs of cow socks: 1
Pairs of penguin pajama bottoms: 1

Duchesses ordering pizzas, and Dalai Lamas

My weather widget said all day yesterday that heavy rain was forecast for most of today. MY WEATHER WIDGET IS A LYING BASTARD. I postponed lunch with a friend today because I didn’t want to get soaked on the way to the station and there hasn’t been a drop of rain all day.

So I went to the gym instead and I got there in a cycling PB of 11:53 which is fast for me as it usually takes me 17 or 18 minutes. I’ll have to try and get it down to 10 minutes.

First up was the rowing machine for twenty minutes and then I went on one of the cross-trainers that has a TV on them and Loose Women was on and so I thought I’d watch a bit of that (DON’T JUDGE ME) and Tony Parsons was on it and they introduced him as being a journalist and hanging out with the Sex Pistols and David Bowie but they missed out the bit about him being once married to Julie Burchill and then they were talking about being a gooseberry and showed this picture of Prince Charles, the Dalai Lama and Camilla


and I thought why do they think she’s being left out of the conversation? They don’t know what happened just before this photo was taken. A pizza dude from Domino’s might have just stuck his head in the door and said ‘Pepperoni Passion with extra olives, Your Duchess?’ and she was just getting up to pay him while the Dalai Lama checked Prince Charles’ fingernails to make sure his hands were clean enough to be eating pizza with. 

I don’t know… people are so quick to judge.

Then I got on the treadmill for an Audiofuel Thru the Gears session (I think I’ve mentioned before how much I love this) but after a couple of minutes I couldn’t be arsed to do any more but then I thought to myself THERE IS NO CBA IN GSR OR VLM and then I thought but ha! everyone always said there was no I in TEAM when clearly there is


and yes, I know this was doing the rounds a couple of weeks ago but it’s still bloody funny and I carried on doing Thru the Gears and then I went to cycle home and wondered if I could do another PB but my legs were aching and the wind was in front of me and so I didn’t PB but I got back in 14:26 which isn’t bad.

Lying bastard weather widgets: 1
Lunches postponed: 1
Cycling to the gym PBs: 1
Rowing machine: 20 minutes
Cross-trainer: 30 minutes
Tony Parsons on the TV: 1
Camillas ordering pizza: 1
Dalai Lamas checking Prince Charles’ fingernails: 1
Treadmill: 15 minutes
CBAs in GSRs or VLMS: 0
I’s in teams: 1

Juneathon 2009 Day 9 – Hold back the rain (but not the mince pies)

I thought I’d put the jog back into my blog today, and switched on my iPod to hear Simon Le Bon singing “Hold Back The Rain” which was quite appropriate really, as it was pissing down.

I get to the corner and there’s a man parked there and I wonder why he’s parked there and he’s got a suit hanging up in his car and I wonder if he’s a salesman or something and a car comes up behind me and I remember what Adele said about being confident and letting them go around me or something and it does go around me and I see a man coming out of the bushes and I wonder what he’s doing in the bushes but then a dog comes out too and I get round the corner and there’s a runner coming towards me and this pleases me greatly as I’ve only seen one other runner out since I’ve been here and I smile at him and he looks at me in a strange way and I think sod you then, next time I see you, I’m going to trip you up and I don’t know why he didn’t recognise me as a fellow hardcore runner as I’m out in the rain and got a Garmin and everything and I get to the tree and go back the way I came and there’s a woman with a Doberman up ahead and the dog is looking very interested in me and keeps turning round and I don’t know whether I should stop to walk but I don’t want to stop as I’ve done enough run/walk lately and I’ve got a 10k coming up in a couple of weeks which is going to be difficult enough but she’s keeping the dog close to her and she moves to the side and I move to the other side and run past and I don’t get mauled by the devil dog and I get home and have a mince pie and some hot chocolate to warm me up in this freezing summer weather.

Stats (running)
Distance: 2.16 miles
Time: 23:03
Pace: 10:40 m/m
Calories: 188
Simon Le Bons singing Hold Back The Rain: 1
Men coming out of the bushes with dogs: 1
Ignorant unfriendly runners: 1
Women with Devil Dogs: 1
Freezing summers: 1
Weight: 9st 4
Juneathon’s completed: 9/30
Duran Duran
Manic Street Preachers

p.s.  Don’t forget to enter my competition to win a copy of the Crisis Cook Book


My boss hasn’t been in the last couple of days and as a result, I  haven’t had much to do and today I have mostly been trying to keep my eyes open and I go for a walk for a couple of miles along the river at lunchtime in the hope that it will energise me but the afternoon is just as bad and I’m falling asleep and I email Shaun and say it’s raining and I can’t keep my eyes open, do I have to run home? and can I eat the energy bar anyway? and he emails back and says yes you do have to run home and if you don’t, then no, you can’t eat the energy bar and I say too late, I’ve eaten it and very nice it was too and it gets to 5 o’clock and I think ok then, I’ll run home and I get changed and get outside and FUCK, IT’S COLD AND WINDY and when did the weather change? and why did no one tell me it got cold again? and where did this wind come from? and I get to Sadlers Wells and my Garmin gets a signal but before I can show the people of Islington my athletic prowess, I’m stopped by a French man who asks me if I know where King’s Cross is and I think hmm, yes, I do know the general direction but not sure how to direct him and I say errrrrrrrrr, yes, but you’ll get lost if I attempt to give you directions and he says ok then and I say sorry and I decide to walk until I get past the Angel and then a big gust of wind blows and it blows something in my eye and I keep blinking and tears are running down my face and I can’t see and I want to rub my eye but I’ll smudge my make up and look like a panda and my eye’s hurting and it eventually gets better as I get to Foxtons which has got to be the coolest estate agent ever, as it has fridges with beer and wine in it and I must remember to go in there one day and pretend I can afford to buy a house in Islington so I can get free beer and wine and I eventually start to run and my legs feel heavy and I’m cold and wet and I get down the end of Essex Road and I’m feeling grumpier than I have been all day and I thought running was supposed to de-stress you and I’m just feeling MONUMENTALLY PISSED OFF and I realise I’ve forgotten to put my alarm on and I think oh well, it’s not like anyone ever gets murdered in Hackney, is it? and I’m still feeling pissed off and I think I can’t be arsed with this, I’m going to get on the train at Hackney Downs and I get to Hackney Downs station and I haven’t got my glasses on and I can’t read the departure board and I don’t know what platform to go to and I squint my eyes and eventually the numbers become a bit clearer and hooray, there’s a train in 3 minutes and I go up to the platform and the people there look at me in a funny way and I think, what? haven’t you ever seen anyone in luminous yellow hi vis running gear before standing on the platform looking a bit cold and soggy? and I think no, they probably haven’t and the train comes and mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, it’s nice and warm in here and 99.9% of the other passengers are wearing black and I wonder if I’m standing out in my luminous yellow hi vis top and I think I probably am but I also think I don’t really care.

Far too embarrassing to put on here.  Let’s just say it wasn’t very far or very fast.