B&Q bathroom installation – day 15 & 16

Nothing to report yesterday as it had been left that a plumber will be round today between 11 and 12. Please please please please let him turn up and fit the taps and not give me any “taps don’t fit” nonsense.

How much chance have I got of a plumber finishing one job on a Friday morning and then going to another for the afternoon? Aren’t they more likely to bugger off home, or even more likely, to the pub?

Alan at B&Q probably didn’t know what to do all day with me not ringing him to moan every five minutes, maybe I should have given him a ring to complain about the fitters losing my keys and scratching the shower spray. Got to keep him on his toes after all.

Fingers crossed then. He’s not late yet, it’s only 6:50am.

It’s 12:00 and no plumber. I ring the fitters and get put through to “someone who knows what’s going on”. Louise gets put through to me and says sorry, he can’t make it, he got held up on another job. I say why didn’t anyone ring me? She says I did, I left a message. I say where? She gives me a number which isn’t mine. I say that’s not my number. She gives me another number. I say that’s not my number either. She says do you live at [address], I say no. She gets my name right eventually and says oh, Clive’s coming out to you. Then she says oh, Andy’s going to be with you this afternoon, hang on and I’ll find out where he is.

I have started growling already. If Andy is not here within half an hour I’m going to kill someone on my way to work.

Update #2
12:20 and no one’s rung me back so I ring the fitters and get their answerphone and leave a message saying I need to know if the plumber’s on his way, I’m leaving my house in 20 minutes, can you call me back please.


I ring Alan at B&Q and say plumber not here, I have to go to work now. He says oh dear, you’re not having much luck are you? I say not exactly, no. He says do I have to go to work right now? I say yes, in ten minutes. He says he’ll ring the fitters.

Louise from the fitters rings me just after I put the phone down to Alan and says Andy will be with you this afternoon. I say but you said between 11 and 12 and I have to go to work now. She says she’s really sorry. She said am I available next week? I said it has to be first thing Monday. She says she’ll see who she can pull off another job and ring me back.


Update #3
Alan rings and says the fitters say your keys were left in your gas meter box. I say why didn’t anyone tell me that, that’s not the first place I’d think of looking for them. He says no, well, you wouldn’t really would you?

He says he thinks the fitters are coming out on Monday. I say you think? He says they are. I say first thing? He says yes. He says if they don’t come, then they’ll get Reactafast (or something like that) to come out but they will only do the bath, not the decorating. I say well the bath’s the main priority at the mo, this is going to be the third weekend without a bath, I can’t take any more time off work, my boss is already spitting feathers with all the time off and phone calls I’m making. He says let’s see what happens Monday, see if the fitters turn up.


At least it’s Friday I suppose. Hurrah.

Update #4
My keys were indeed left inside the gas meter box which means either a) that Danny had no intention of coming back, because if he did, he’d have put the keys through the letterbox like a normal person would have done, but if he’d have done that I’d have thought “oh, that’s weird, why has he posted the keys, isn’t he coming back?”; or b) that he left them in there every day instead of taking them with him which means that he’s just as security conscious as that Alan idiot who left my window open as any random passing burglar could have seen him take the keys from the gas meter box every morning he was here.

‘kin hell.

Update #5
At 4:30 Louise from the fitters leaves a message on my mobile to confirm that Alan the plumber will be round on Monday morning to do the taps.

At 5:00 Alan the plumber rings about my “dreaded” bath. He says he’ll be with me first thing on Monday. I say brilliant, 8 o’clock? He says thereabouts, do I have to be out of the house at a specific time. Well of course I do dickhead, I have to go to work and earn money to pay for a new bathroom. I say I have to be out by 8:30. He says he should be there by then, he has to pick up a few bits and pieces on the way so he doesn’t have to go out in the day. He says he needs access to the back garden. I say that’s fine, he can have keys. And if you forget to lock the back door, like you forgot to shut the window, it’s going to be you who’s going to need new plumbing matey.

I think Monday is finally going to see the end of the bath saga. Yah!


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