B&Q bathrooom installation – day 42 (cont.)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I come home and go and survey my new bathroom (for the millionth time) and put the toilet lid down to make it look nice and tidy (and get to see its swanky hydraulic action again) and see that there’s a bit of dirt on it (I’m not usually that house proud but this is my brand new bathroom we’re talking about). Never mind, I go to brush it off but FUCK NO, IT’S A FUCKING BURN!! This can only mean that Clive was smoking in there yesterday and put his cigarette down on my toilet lid and burnt it. What an idiot. Why was he smoking in there anyway? What’s wrong with outside? And why would you put a cigarette on a plastic toilet lid anyway? Even when I smoked I didn’t do that. Fucking pikey Essex tosser twat. It must have been him because I don’t smoke anymore, I don’t know many people who smoke, no one who smokes has been round since I’ve been going through the B&Q bathroom installation saga and my friends smoke outside now anyway.

Look, here’s the burn:

It may look small, but it’s not just dirt, that’s a burn that is not going to come off. It’s melted the lid and turned it black.


This means that even if the electrician does come round tomorrow, I’ve now got to arrange for a new lid to be delivered (and no doubt they’ll want to deliver a whole new fucking toilet) and then arrange for a fitter to come and fit it. This is going to carry on into the new year. I can’t believe it.

Somebody wake me up.


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