Longest sleep ever

Due to me sleeping for over 12 hours which can’t be blamed on either a late night or too much drinking (as I left my wallet at home yesterday so I couldn’t go home via the offy, knowing I’d be too lazy to walk the two minutes to the shop once I was in), I decided not to do my new six mile route but because I was still in shock at my scales telling me I was 9 st 6 the other day (although they have now gone down to a more respectable 9 st 2) forced myself out for the government recommendation of 30 minutes.

I went to the park and was alone except for the dad/child combo doing laps of the park on their bicycles and I thought to myself they’re going to get dizzy going round and round the smallest park in the world.

I left the park after one lap and went up to the sports field and I could see a man on the other side of the field and I don’t trust men on their own in fields but then I could see he was with a small dog and although men with small dogs probably aren’t to be trusted, they are to be trusted more than men in fields without any dog at all.

When I got round to the other side of the field, I saw a group of people and I thought to myself oh no, there’s a group of people, what are they doing. Then I remembered I was in a sports field and so they were probably there to do some kind of sporting activity, and they started doing some kind of arm holding thing and so instead of interrupting their arm holding thing, I went onto the street and past the cricket ground where there’s always little kids playing football and never cricket and then I went back into the park where the dad/child combo were still doing laps of the park and I thought they must be really dizzy by now; then I thought that maybe it was a cunning plan and when he gets home the child will say waa, Dad, I’m really dizzy, and the dad will say oh dear, you must be ill, you should go to bed now for the rest of the day; while all the time thinking, hurrah my cunning plan worked, now I can watch Match of the Day in peace. But then as I passed them the dad smiled at me and I felt bad for thinking he was an evil parent and maybe they were just having a fun day out after all.

Stats:
Miles: 3.01
Total time: 30:56
Average pace: 10:16 minute/mile
Total calories: 260
Men with small dogs: 1
People doing arm holding things: lots
Evil dads making their children dizzy: 1
Music:
Stereo Total – I Love You, Ono
Calvin Harris – Acceptable In The 80s
Bobby Conn – King For A Day
Justice v Simian – We Are Your Friends
Voodoo Queens – Supermodel Superficial
Blur – B.L.U.R.E.M.I.
Echobelly – Great Things
Adam & The Ants – Young Parisians