*** damn ponies

I had planned on going to the gym this morning but with the clocks annoyingly going forward and taking away an hour of my life which I will only get back if I live until October, which I probably will but that’s not the point, decided that it would be late by the time I got back and there’s other Sunday things to do like decide what I’m eating next week and going to the new look Sainsburys which takes a lot longer now that they’ve rearranged everything and hidden the Quorn sausages.

So I thought I’d do the six mile route, then decided that would take too long too, so decided to do the four mile route and got ready and went outside the front door and bollocks, my very nice but very chatty neighbour is cleaning the outside of her house and I don’t want to be held up so I quickly go back in thinking she won’t be long as the outside of her house doesn’t need cleaning or tidying anyway as it’s already clean and tidy but each time I peek through the blinds in a completely pathetic way to behave kind of way she’s still there so I decide to sneak out and hope she doesn’t see me and I go round the side of the house instead of the usual way which is past her house and I’m wondering if she’ll see me run down the end of the road and if she does, she’ll think I’m a complete bitch neighbour from hell although she wouldn’t actually think that as she’s very nice but anyway, I change my mind about the four mile route and so as not to offend my neighbour take the three mile route but then I remember that that takes me over the scary footbridge, down the isolated path and through the rapists’ bridge but it’s a nice sunny day so I think there’ll probably be a lot of people over there walking their dogs and cycling and so I continue and Fall Out Boy start singing it’s a goddamn arseface but I seem to have downloaded it from some dodgy country which blocks out the word god but not damn which is very strange. And as I’m pondering which strange country doesn’t allow the word god but does allow the word damn, I go past the riding stables and see the horses. Yay.

And they seem to have grown some ponies since the last time I went past the stables. Aah.

And these ponies seem to be doing some kind of strange pony sex act thing.

And as I leave the marshes hoping my neighbour didn’t take more than thirty minutes to clean the outside of her already clean house I see the most badly painted house in the world ever. Good god. Or good *** depending on which country you’re in. It’s definitely worth a blimey, anyway.

Today’s route

Miles: 3.02
Total time: 32:48
Average pace: 10:52 minute/mile
Total calories: 282
Neighbours cleaning the outside of their houses: 1
Ponies doing strange things: 2
Badly painted houses: 1
The Young Knives – Weekends And Bleak Days
Fall Out Boy – This Ain’t A Scene It’s An Arms Race
Patrick Wolf – Running Up That Hill
Courtney Love – Sunset Strip
Soft Cell – Sex Dwarf
Baby Teeth – SixFootOne


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