A mile of midges

I had to be back by 10 this morning because Ben’s coming round to change my lock so I set my alarm for 8 but had forgotten about the power cut the other night and my fake sunrise clock had set its alarm itself for 7 so that woke me up making its bleepy noise so I got up and turned off the bleepy noise and went back to bed to wait for my other alarm to go off at 8 but the cat decides it’s time to get up and starts punching me in the face and I say cat, stop punching me in the face, so she bites me instead and I’m staring at the clock and the alarm goes off at 8 so I get up and turn off the alarm and warm up for my run by playing on the internet and I eventually get my arse into gear at about 9 and take my new wireless headphones out for a test run but I only get as far as the corner of the road and they’ve stopped working. Bah. I take them back home and look at the instructions and realise that after I’d stayed up late last night waiting for my headphones to charge so I could play with them, the instructions say to charge the headphones AND the adaptor. Bugger.

I grab my normal headphones and look at the clock and it’s 9:20 and I think can I get round the marshes in 40 minutes and I decide that I can if I don’t stop to take too many photos or stop to walk too much so I get to the marshes and it seems the marshes are speaking in kilometres now as this sign indicates.

You’d think over the marshes there would be some interesting fauna like stuff to take pictures of but once again, I come back with only a picture of a dandelion or four.

And I think to myself I’d better stop taking photos of weeds or Ben’s going to have had a wasted trip and I’ll still have a dodgy lock so I carry on and as I’m coming up to the last stretch a man overtakes me and he’s running in a very strange way and wiggling his bum like some kind of girl and I’m wondering if I wiggle my bum when I run and I decide I probably don’t and when I get to the last stretch there’s about a million midges and the midge army is out in force and the air is thick with the little bastards and I have to keep my head down otherwise they’re in my eyes and my mouth but at least it means I keep running and eventually I get to the road and the midge army dissipates and I get home by 9:55 and Ben comes round at 10:25 and tries to fix the new lock but the new lock is too big so he puts my old lock back on but with the new barrel and says he thinks he has a smaller lock at home and he’ll check. So it was just as well I didn’t try to fix the new lock myself as I would have been totally stuck and all this new lock old lock fixing business has taken nearly two hours and I say thank you, and I am way behind in my schedule of things I was going to do today which involves updating a website and doing some garden stuff like putting my seedlings into bigger pots before me and Dave from Liverpool who used to live in Ireland until last Thursday when he moved to Walthamstow go and investigate the restaurant which Time Out reckons do the best pizzas in London. Look, my seeds are growing, they’re bigger than Phil’s 🙂

And the sunflowers outside.

And the spinach that needs a bigger pot and more compost.

And the rocket.

And the lillies from last year are growing again. Yay.

Clearly I am the best gardener on the internet.

Today’s route

Miles: 2.94
Total time: 33:46
Average pace: 11:30
Total calories: 300
Signs in km: 1
Dandelions: 4
Men running like a girl: 1
Midges: millions
New lock old lock hybrids: 1
Human League – Non Stop
The Killers – Smile Like You Mean It
Kaiser Chiefs – Thank You Very Much
Peter Bjorn & John – Up Against The Wall
New Model Army – No Rest
The Damned – Is It A Dream?
Bikini Kill – Rip
Rolling Stones – Satisfaction
Joe Jackson – Steppin’ Out


  • No your not the best Gardner on the Internet, I AM! Just check out my Thyme. 🙂

  • Maybe you need to try that bum wiggle thing, could be something in it.

    As for the gardening contest, I think you both have issues. You seem to be a bit tight on the compost front and Phil seems to force his plants to live on a pile of shit.

    The truth will out though.

  • Ha ha!!! bloody charming. You just wait and see. We have super powerful soil here.

  • I have compost now. I bought some before my house decided not to let me in last Saturday but the day seems to have gone now and I need to get ready to investigate these apparently best pizzas in London so Phil may well win the gardening competition if my plants never make it past the seed-tray-in-the-kitchen stage.

  • Oh good i’m just getting into this gardening lark and yes the lovely men took all my garden rubbish with them all that was in my green bag plus 11 big rubbish sacks “someones been busy” they said. So i may be asking for tips from you

  • Well don’t ask me Pammie (even though my stuff will turn out to be the best) because like you this is my first effort 🙂

  • Cat’s are the best alarm clock ever – nothing gets me out of bed at 3.30am like a half dead bat dropped on my head :-/

    Well done on the run, hope that the pizza is the best in London village.

    I do have to say I’m favouring Phil’s seedlings grown in shitte – but you both are the real losers – my hydroponics whoop your asses big time 😉 but for legal reasons I can’t post the photo’s…

    Ps when I post about my dawn drug raid you know that the police are reading your blog, and didn’t think I was joking 😀

  • Joggerblogger send me some cuttings will you 🙂

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