Tottenham Marshes 5 Run the River race report

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My leg had been hurting after my 6 mile run/walk/stop to take photos on Saturday in the same way it’d been hurting on Wednesday after my 8 mile treadmill extravaganza on Tuesday but it felt ok on Sunday and I’m not one to waste my race entry fee and miss out on a post-race piss-up so walked the three miles to the start of the race and everything was fine until I got to 2.5 miles and I thought oh no, my leg is hurting, I’m going to have to stop and walk the last 2.5 miles and then a girl overtook me and her shorts were falling down and showing her bum crack and I though oh no, I can’t look at her bum crack for 2.5 miles, I’m going to have to either speed up or slow right down but I can’t speed up as my leg’s hurting and I carry on and she falls behind and I get to 2.9 miles and the path turns to grass and I think oh shit, nobody told me I’d have to run on grass, I don’t like running on grass as it’s all soft and lumpy and bumpy and it’ll do my leg in more but at 3.3 miles it turned back to path so yay, and at 4 miles I think my leg’s going to fall off and I walk for a few seconds and Bum Crack Girl overtakes me but luckily she’s pulled her shorts back up by then and at 4.4 miles I have to stop and walk because my leg is seriously hurting and I think I’m going to be limping over the finish line and then I think am I fuck limping over the finish line and so I start running again and I get to the finish line and my Garmin tells me I’ve done it in 50:27 which is my fastest time ever. Yay. But I don’t get any of the brownies or muffins because Bear fails to tell me that they were there but we walk a mile back down Tottenham Marshes to the pub and just as we’re about to order lunch, our table gets invaded and invaded by smokers nonetheless which, as a non-smoker, impresses me not, so we go through Walthamstow Marshes and and try to spot the cows that are still lying down, the lazy bastards, and go to the pub by the river which is overrun with screaming and scabby babies and then we go to another pub and by the time we leave we are a bit pissed. And I am a bit sunburnt.

Stats:
Distance: 4.98 miles
Time: 50:27
Pace: 10:07
Calories: 484

Lardathon Day #8
Lunch/dinner: Spinach and ricotta cannelloni with salad and garlic bread
Lard based confessions: Shitloads of beer
Exercise:
Running: 5 miles
Walking: 8 miles

Lardathon Day #9
Starting weight: 9 st 4
Current weight: 9 st 2
Breakfast: Muesli & soya yoghurt
Lunch: Quorn ham slices and salad sandwich on granary bread
Dinner: Thai flavoured mushroom stroganoff with golden rice
Other: Apple, nectarine
Lard based confessions: Few squares Green & Black’s Dark Chocolate, wine, beer
Exercise:
Walking: 1.5 miles
Rowing machine: 20 minutes
Elliptical trainer: 10 minutes

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