Thank f**k it’s nearly Friday

As my blog is the only active blog on the internet, I thought I’d better get active although I have quietly been being active since Friday when I went to the gym, and also went to the gym on Monday and Tuesday and I decided to try and exercise some damage limitation after last night’s vodka, lager, wine and Lebanese food and went to the gym at lunchtime today after an annoying morning which started off with my iPod annoying me by running out of charge on the way to work which meant I wasn’t protected from the noise of the world which included a girl saying “fantastic” to whoever she was talking to on her mobile and then the woman at amazon credit card annoyed me by trying to sell me card protection and other protection when all I wanted to do was activate my new credit card which gives me the not very impressive loyalty bonus of a £15 voucher when I’ve spent £1,500 and so I went to the gym and on the way to the gym there was a man saying “fantastic” to whoever he was talking to on his mobile and I think why is everyone saying “fantastic” today? and I get to the gym and there’s a sign saying anyone not wearing an item of pink has to pay £2 to enter the gym and I think oh no, I’m probably not wearing pink and I look at what I’m wearing and I’m wearing black Converse, black trousers, a black t-shirt and a black hooded top and I think hmmm, not much pink there then but I manage to get in without paying a £2 no pink clothing penalty and get to the changing room and remember that my rucksack is pink and think hurrah, saved by my rucksack and I go into the gym without my iPod as it has no charge but take my headphones and decide to watch an antiques programme which has an annoying bloke presenting it and then a woman gets on the treadmill next to me and she starts singing or humming or mumbling or something fucking annoying anyway and so I get off the treadmill as the dirty looks I’m throwing her way aren’t giving her the hint of will you please shut the fuck up and I go on the rowing machine and then the bike and and I decide to watch the news and there’s a little girl in China whose dad makes her run from 3am ’til the sun comes up then he makes her go to the track and there’s another girl who trains in the sea with her arms and legs tied up and I’m glad I’m not a finely tuned Chinese athlete as I don’t think I’d like to be in the sea with my arms and legs tied up and I decide to go back to work in case my boss comes back early although he wouldn’t be annoyed if I was late as he is still on his best behaviour since I handed in my notice and then unhanded in my notice and it’s been a week and I wonder if his tongue is very sore with him having bitten it for a week and I go past the bookshop and think if I’m doing a creative writing course in the new year I should probably read a book as I haven’t read anything except web design, running and jewellery making magazines and books since fuck knows when and I buy a couple of novels and get back to the office where the idiots in the office next door proceed to talk absolute crap all day and by the end of the day I’m seriously considering emailing them asking them if they can keep their door shut and then I go and get on the train and the carriage is empty because the train has just come and a girl gets on and sits next to me and I think what the fuck? the carriage is empty, go and sit somewhere else, although I know the carriage will fill up and I won’t get seats to myself but I’m pissed off and then another girl gets on and she’s talking really loudly on her mobile and another girl gets on and sits opposite me and she’s talking on her mobile too and I think I’m losing the will to live and then the girl next to me starts eating and I think don’t eat on the train you peasant, it stinks and you’re going to get crumbs everywhere and then she starts playing a game on her mobile and she hasn’t got the tones turned off and I spy a row of empty seats so I go and nab the window seat and get away from the annoying people with phones and food and then another girl gets on and she’s eating McDonald’s and I think what the fuck? don’t you know that stinks and then I’m reminded that I have to start a Facebook group called Equal Rights for Veggies at Christmas due to me receiving the office party menu today which gives meat eaters turkey, traditional trimmings, vegetables and potatotes, whilst us veggies get a fucking risotto and why can’t we have vegetables and potatoes instead of a bowl of rice? and what about vegans? vegetables and potatoes are vegan, risotto isn’t and I’m not vegan and I’m not going to the party anyway but that’s not the point and then a woman sits next to me on the train and she’s on her mobile and I think for fucks sake is there anyone on this train not on their mobile? and she finishes her call and gets her newspaper out and starts flick flick flicking through it and I think just read the god damn paper and stop flick flick flicking and then the train goes past the marshes and the sun’s going down and I think bloody hell, it’s only ten to six, it’s getting dark already and then I come out of the station and there’s two men shouting at each other and it’s really annoying and I wonder how many other people are going to manage to annoy me in the five minutes I have left until I get home and I go to the shop and manage to leave there without getting annoyed but the annoying foreign people are standing on the corner making the place look untidy as usual and I eventually make it home without killing anyone.

Treadmill: 10 minutes
Rowing machine: 10 minutes
Bike: 10 minutes
Annoying people: far too many to count


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