Last run of the year

Due to my hangover testifying that red wine, white wine and champagne aren’t a good mix, I wake up and think I’ll go out for my eight miles tomorrow instead of today and then I remember the text last night from Tracey which said did I want to go for a free drink tomorrow in Ilford and then into town for another free drink at a casino and instead of replying no I have to stay in and drink water and get up and run eight miles and anyway I have no desire to go to Ilford due to me spending the first 19 years of my life there and it being full of Essex people and I don’t want to go gambling, the lure of the words “free” and “drink” compel me to text back and say yeah, sounds good, email me details.

And I look out of the window and it is a nice bright sunny day and I think I bet it’s nice over the marshes but it’s still not motivating me very much but I get changed into my running kit and go outside and do my usual sit on the wall thing and wait for a satellite which takes longer now due to me being addicted to the Nokia Sports Tracker website so now I have to take my N95 out with me which takes ages and ages to pick up a signal but it does eventually and I shove it in my pocket where I promise myself it will stay for the duration of the eight miles and not get taken out of my pocket for any photo based emergencies.

It’s busy over the marshes and I think don’t these people know the marshes are for my sole use only? well, me and the Kingsway International Christian Centre who I am reliably informed is the biggest church in London, if not the UK, anyway. At least until 9 January when they take down their big metal triangle and remove it from the marshes and the marshes can get on with its important task of being a nature reserve.

Amongst the people is a couple running and the bloke’s wearing a rucksack and the girl isn’t and I wonder if he’s carrying all her stuff and I decide he probably is and I wonder if she had to ask him or if he just offered and I decide he looks gentlemanly and probably didn’t have to be asked and just offered and then they get to the cattle grid and he runs over it while she stops and tentatively walks across it and then I get to the cattle grid and stop and tentatively walk across it and then they’re up to the ice rink and I think please don’t be going into Hackney Marshes as I don’t want to follow you for the next six miles and they turn off and I think hooray and then I think oh actually, as I’m just about to go into Hackney Marshes, the entire population can escort me if it wants to, as long as it buggers off once we get back to Walthamstow and there’s quite a few people over Hackney Marshes too and I think the nice weather must have brought people out and then I see a man in a Rasta hat down by the river and I wonder if he’s rolling a spliff and then I think that is a huge generalisation but I decide he probably is rolling a spliff anyway and wonder if he’ll give me a puff but then I remember that I don’t smoke and never liked dope anyway and then I see some more exercise related things that I never noticed before and there’s an arm stretch but it’s so high up and the only person I know tall enough to reach it is Bear and I think he probably doesn’t frequent Hackney Marshes that often and in fact has probably never even been to Hackney Marshes and even if he had, I’m even more sure that Hackney Council probably didn’t build an arm stretch just for him.

I’m back in Walthamstow and running up to where I think the cows live now and I look at my Garmin and I think I’m on track for my fastest 10k ever and I get to where the cows should be but they’re not there and I must have got it wrong where I thought they were in relation to where I saw them as I thought today’s route would take me nearer them and I’m wondering where they are and I think they must be the other side of the railway bridge but you can’t really get through there to anywhere and I look at my Garmin and wonder what is more important, a 10k PB or cows? and so I go through the bridge to look for the cows but it’s all muddy and I have to stop and I can’t get through there to anywhere so I turn around and go to go back through the underpass and a runner comes along and I stop to let him go first but he stops and turns back and I wonder if he’s taking the not dedicated to the public sign seriously and I go through the underpass and I remember the steep bit and I think if I walk up the steep bit I’m not going to get my fastest ever 10k time so I run up it and I look at my Garmin and it seems to be broken as the time seems to be ticking away but the mileage seems to have stopped but eventually it does get to 10k in 1:08 which, along with the 10k in which the football incident occurred, is my fastest ever, hurrah.

Then I’m on the most boring stretch of road in the world ever that leads out of the marshes and I’m thinking about the casino and I’m wondering if it’s smart dress only and am I going to have to wear a dress and heels as I’m not a girly girl and I only wear jeans and Converse and I have a hangover and hangover and heels do not mix, they mix even less well than eight miles and hangovers and I look at my Garmin and it’s on seven miles exactly and I get to the park and it’s on 7.3 miles and I’m thinking one lap of the park is point 4 miles I think and can I wimp out after 7.7 miles as I am extremely knackered and I think no, no wimping out, so I go round the park and then it gets to 7.5 miles and I think point 5 to go, that’s ok, then I realise that point 5 is half a mile and half a mile sounds far and I think I. Can. Not. Run. For. A. Nother. Half. A. Mile. And there’s a man throwing a stick for a dog and he smiles and says morning and I attempt to smile back but not sure if I managed it and I still haven’t done 8 miles and I think I can’t go round the park again as the man will say hello again and I’ll have to attempt to smile again and it was hard enough the first time and I leave the park as I have to investigate the bus stop anyway to see what times the buses are that will take me to my Essex homeland and so I do some bus stop investigating and it says it takes 43 minutes and I think can I sit on a bus for 43 minutes? Eek.

Stats:
Distance: 8.04 miles
Time: 1:25:40
Pace: 10:38
Calories: 756
Photo based emergencies: 0
Music:
No Doubt
The Polyphonic Spree
Faith No More
The Cure
Idle Vice Pirate
The Secret Machines
Ash
Tricky
The Crescent