A very long, very slow, run

I wake up early to the smell of freshly baked bread and I need to get out early this morning due to Kate coming round to see my not new anymore bathroom and I’ve promised to clean it in her honour as I’ve only cleaned it once since I’ve had it in a I’m a lazy slob kind of way and I think I need to hire a cleaner as housework hasn’t been high up on my agenda for a long time now and even my kitchen is in a state and I still like my kitchen even though it’s four years old now I think and I’m going to do my first 12 miler today and I’m looking at what’s on my iPod and I think it needs updating as the songs on it aren’t really doing it for me but I decide it’ll take too long and I need to get out and the only top I’ve got to wear is the fluorescent yellow one and I think I’m going to roast in that and it looks warm and sunny outside and I open the front door and I hesitate as I think I’ve forgotten something but I haven’t forgotten anything and then I have the urge to take some money with me and I hope it’s not a premonition that I’m going to get injured and have to get a cab home as I’ve never taken money out with me before and I shove a fiver in my pocket and leave the house and just as I get out of my gate my nice old lady next door neighbour comes out of her house and I say hello and she says hello how are you? and I say fine thanks and I don’t stop and chat but carry on going and feel guilty but it’s perfectly feasible that she will keep me standing there chatting for half an hour while I stand there nodding and smiling politely and I really need to get on with my run and I hope she’s not too offended and I get into my run and panic sets in as I think did I turn my Garmin on? and I look at it and it’s ticking away nicely and I think thank fuck for that and I’m going really really slowly as I’m really really tired and I’m also really really hungry and I wonder if I’m ever going to stop being hungry as all I’ve done this week is eat and eat and eat and not always very healthy choices either; in fact, I’ve eaten a hell of a lot of crap this week but never mind and I get past the marina and over the bridge and I overtake a man running and I feel bad and I wonder why I feel bad overtaking people and I decide it’s probably because I’m usually at the back at races and don’t get much practice in overtaking people due to me usually being the overtakee and not the overtaker and then I’m at the pub by the river and I go down the stairs and the man I overtook comes under the bridge and I think how did he get here by that way and I think I need to investigate but not now and my knee’s twingeing and I think oh shit that doesn’t feel good, maybe I should go home and I get to the bridge and do some stretching and carry on and it feels a bit better and I’m hoping I’m not going to have to follow the man the whole way round the marshes but he turns off into Millfields and I go into the marshes and I remember the 10k that’s being held there in May and I’m wondering if I want to do three laps of the field and I decide probably not especially as a lot of it will be on grass and I don’t like running on grass and I’m wondering if I want to pay to do 10k where I run every Saturday anyway and I decide probably not and I’m wondering if it’s really cheeky just to turn up and run with the people at the race anyway without paying and I decide it probably is.

I get to four miles and I’m feeling slightly less knackered and think I can carry on and my knee’s stopped hurting which I take as a good sign and I’m going really really slowly and I think this 12 miles is going to take a very long time and I do my slowest ever 10k and I think oh my god I’ve got to do that distance again and I’m wondering if I can do it and I think it doesn’t matter if I can or I can’t as I’m going to do it anyway and I get to seven miles and think only five miles left, that’s ok and I get to Tottenham Marshes and and I’ve got four miles left and I don’t think I can do another four miles and I’m wondering why five miles seemed ok but four miles doesn’t and I think I’m going to have to walk but I don’t want to fail on my first ever 12 miler and then I remember I brought some money out and there’s a shop by the bridge and I think I’ll stop and get some water or something and then I see a sign for the shop and it says it sells tea, coffee and soft drinks and there’s also a Walls ice cream sign and I really fancy some ice cream and I wonder if a chocolate bar would perk me up and I think that is really greedy and I stop at the shop and I get some orange Lucozade as that’s supposed to give you energy innit and on the counter are cakes and flapjacks and I think I REALLY WANT A CAKE but I resist the I really want a cake urge and just get my Lucozade and try to forget it’s made by Glaxo Smithkline and the friendly man behind the counter says that’s one whole pound please so I give him my whole fiver and he gives me four whole pounds back and I say thank you, bye and I go outside and drink some Lucozade and it goes straight to my head and my vision is blurry and I carry on and I think the Lucozade is doing its job and I get to the bridge at the top of the marshes and I’ve got three miles left and I think three miles is nothing and then I’ve got half a mile of marshes left and the sky is a clear blue and the sun is reflecting on the river and Janis Joplin is screeching something and there’s a refreshing breeze and I think I’m going to make it after all and then I’m back on the the street with a mile and a half to go and I think yay, I’m not going to fail my first 12 miler and I get home and fall into some hot chocolate and toast made with freshly baked bread and I am absolutely shattered.

Today’s route

Distance: 12.14 miles
Time: 2:20:19
Pace: 11:33 m/m
Calories: 1,142
Overtakees: 1
Lucozades: 1
I want a cake urges: 1
The Young Knives
The Who
The Kooks
The Smiths
Graham Coxon
Janis Joplin
Citizen Fish
The Doors


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