Countdown to the Roding Valley half

I wake up from my dream about racing in Paris and remember that I need to get up early due to meeting Tracey early so we can undertake the Great Voucher Abuse Pub Crawl Challenge that we devised on Wednesday which if all goes to plan means we will be getting 16 bottles of Bud each for free although I’m thinking that drinking 16 bottles of Bud, free or otherwise, may not be the best plan in the world.

Today’s run is the last long run before the half next Sunday and earlier in the week I’d emailed Bear and said help, the postman stole my entry form for the Brentwood half, so I’m doing Woodford instead but it’s a week earlier and so the end of my training schedule needs changing, what should I do? and he says to do between 6 and 8 miles today and even though my knowledge of numbers is limited I can’t think of any other numbers between 6 and 8 except for 7 so I decide to do 7 miles and I eventually get out of the door which for some strange reason is unlocked, unchained and unlatched and I think bollocks, I could have been murdered in my sleep and I head off and woo hoo, NO PAIN. Result.

I get to the marshes and there’s a sign saying the bridge is closed and I wonder which bridge it is and I’m thinking it must be the bridge where Ben came off his bike and broke his jaw and when I get there it is indeed closed and I think bollocks, I’ll have to go the other way and my brain is not computing this into a 7 mile route as it’s usually my 3 mile route and there’s a man walking towards me and I can’t see a dog and I don’t trust men over the marshes without dogs and he gets nearer and I think yeah, he looks a bit of a nonce and I’m thinking I could do without a bloke who looks a bit of a nonce being in my immediate vicinity just as I’m about to go under the bridge where two girls were raped the year before last but then someone else comes running up the path and I think hurrah, safety in numbers, I probably won’t get murdered now and I go through the bridge and down to the other bridge which I think will take me through to Hackney Marshes without me having to go over the road and it does and a bit further on I look at my Garmin and it tells me I’m about to do my fastest 5k ever ever ever and I’m trying to resist the urge to speed up by telling myself I’m training for a half not trying to get my 5k time down but I can’t stop looking at my Garmin and as it ticks past 3.1 miles it says I’ve done it in 31:44 and I think yay and there’s a girl ahead of me wearing Lycra and her arse is wobbling about and I think I can’t look at that for another 4 miles so I speed up and overtake her and then there’s a girl running alongside the river who’s not wearing a sports bra and I think ouch and I think why are there so many girls running today, where are all the fit blokes? and I get back to Walthamstow Marshes and I’m looking at my Garmin and wondering if I’m going to do my fastest ever 10k and once again I try and remind myself I’m training for a half and I’m supposed to be doing a long slow run not a fastest ever long run and I get to 10k and I seem to have shaved 3 minutes off my previous fastest time and I think woo hoo, maybe there’s something in eating before running after all and I get home and it feels weird to have only done 7 miles and I open the post and things certainly do come in threes as the postman has brought me my race numbers for the Roding Valley half, the Orion 15 and the Hearts First Jog, hurrah.

Today’s route

Distance: 7.07 miles
Time: 1:12:30
Pace: 10:15 m/m
Calories: 664
Girls with wobbling arses: 1
Girls not wearing a sports bra: 1
Fit blokes: 0
Fastest ever 5ks: 1
Fastest ever 10ks: 1
Race numbers: 3
Courtney Love
Plain White T’s
David Bowie
Graham Coxon
Scissor Sisters
The Strokes
Black Wire
Charlotte Hatherley
The Dude


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