The Deerhunter

I get up this morning and decide to go to Victoria Park to visit the deer, also taking in Springfield Park which I’ve always been too scared to go in to, due to it looking like a park that kept appearing in a recurring dream I used to have, but Adele said it’s a lovely park and I should go in there and on the way there’s a dummy hanging off the bridge

and I wonder if it belongs to the screaming brat that was in Sainsbury’s yesterday as that could have done with a dummy to shut the thing up and then I get to Springfield Park

and it looks a bit hilly for my liking and so I walk up the hill and at the top of the hill are two women sitting on a bench and one of them says hello so I say hello back and she gets up and comes towards me and shows me a magazine called Awake! and on the front of it it says “How well do you know your children?” and I say I don’t have any children and she says I’ll show you this one instead and she goes to give me a magazine and I say I’m sorry, I can’t carry anything, I’m just out for a run and she says oh, ok, and I carry on walking and then I’m thinking I’d better start running as I just told the God Woman I was out for a run and if she sees me walking she’ll think I’m a liar and I’m not sure what happens if you lie to God People and I think they throw lightening at you or something so I start to run and then I get to a pond and it has a pond dipping platform

and I haven’t a clue what a pond dipping platform is and as far as I’m concerned it’s a photo based emergency platform and I go onto the photo based emergency platform and take a photo

and I get round the corner and I feel like I’m on top of a mountain and there’s a great view

and Springfield Park certainly is lovely and shall feature in future runs and then I’m running alongside the river and I see some swans sleeping

and I get to the Princess of Wales pub which I found out recently used to be called the Prince of Wales until Diana mania set in and now boaters call it the sex change pub.

I eventually get to Victoria Park

and I look for the deer pen and I find what I think is the deer pen but I can’t see any deer, all I can see are weeds

and I think bloody hell, I’ve come all this way to see deer and all I get to see is weeds and then I come across a garden

and a squirrel who stays still long enough for me to take its photo

and then I head back home and do half a lap of the park to take me up to ten miles and then I get home and because I am very stupid, I put the wrong postage on the envelope for my original entry form for this Sunday’s Hampstead 10k and because my cheque didn’t get cashed, I assumed it was languishing in a Post Office somewhere in North London so I re-entered online and got my race number last week and then today the postman has brought me my postal entry number so I have two numbers now. Any takers?

Today’s route


Distance: 10.23 miles
Time: 2:24:05
Pace: 14:05 m/m
Calories: 826
Dummies: 1
Parks: 3
God Women: 2
Sleeping swans: 5
Sex change pubs: 1
Deer: 0
Squirrels staying still: 1
Numbers for the same race: 2
Juneathons completed: 15/18
Primal Scream
Jesus & Mary Chain
Manic Street Preachers
Modest Mouse
Soft Cell
Polyphonic Spree
Bee Gees
Bobby Conn
Duran Duran
Foo Fighters
Jeff Buckley
P J Harvey
Miles completed so far
78.13 out of 100 / 6 days left


  • Ha, I love the sex-change pub story! I saw those same swans recently, they were doing a love dance or something but were ever so smelly so I doubt it worked. Glad you liked the park, I used to find it handy on long runs as there is a loo in the house at the top 🙂

  • Nice park. You can have all the miles I’m doing now above 100 for your challenge if you want 🙂

    You working again yet? Your cat is huge – or the photo makes her look large.

    See ya.

    PS – Keep Awake!

  • The park is nice, can’t believe I’ve run past it and ignored it all this time.

    Cat isn’t so big really, she was just sprawled out and looked like a fat bloater.

    I will have news on the job front shortly. Tomorrow probably. Should have been today but didn’t hear anything but that’s Scousers for you.

  • Why scousers? What are they doing in London?
    Good story today, liked the sex change pub and the underlying motto not to speak to strangers.

  • On Tuesday of last week I decided to ask for my old job back and my old boss emailed me and said it was fine with him but he’d have to check with the HR woman who was off ’til Monday and then he emailed me on Monday and said the HR woman here had to check with HR in head office in Liverpool and then he emailed me yesterday and said he was still waiting on Liverpool and should hear today but I didn’t hear anything so it will be tomorrow I suppose. Which actually reminded me one of the things I didn’t like about the place – everything had to go through Liverpool and it took about twenty years.

  • you are running in all the parks i used to go to! next one should be, i think, ally pally 🙂

  • But I just did a race near there…

    But because I’m enjoying decisions of where to run being made for me, I’ve just checked and Alexandra Park is only 5 miles away so that’s where I’ll do my next long run.

    But it won’t be until next week.

  • The parks look lovely but I get annoyed enough when dog walkers or people out with their children want to talk to me and I have to stop and take my earphones out, so God Women trying to show me magazines about children would drive me up the wall.

    Nice blog – you should be published 🙂

  • Loved the pics 🙂
    I haven’t met any God People up here yet 🙂

  • God people throw lightening at you if you lie – oh if only we had that much power! Only joking!

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