Mojo rising

Since the Royal Parks Half I haven’t wanted to run and not for any specific reason like I was too hungover or I couldn’t be bothered or I was feeling lazy, I just didn’t want to and had no interest in running whatsoever but after turning down a night out last night I decided that this morning I would have no excuse not to run and would go out for three miles and see how I get on and I get up and get ready and go downstairs and Morrissey’s telling me to stop him if I’ve heard this one before and I can hear a knocking next door and I wonder if they’re doing DIY or knocking because my music’s too loud and I decide that they’re doing DIY as my next door neighbour isn’t a pikey chav who’s going to bang on the wall, unlike my next door but one neighbour who is a pikey chav who came round to swear at me on Wednesday because she took in a delivery for me so I went round to get it and her son answered the door and I said have you got a package for me? and he said yes and it was right near the door so I took it and said thanks and went home then his pikey chav mum rings on the door and says did you take your package? and I said yes, thanks, your son opened the door and she says he’s only 6 you should have waited for an adult and I said oh, yes, you’re right, I’m sorry, I didn’t think and I thought that would be the end of it but she carries on, you’re fucking rude, you’re well out of order, he’s only 6, you could be anyone. So I said sorry, I just didn’t think and she went on and on, I’m not taking your fucking packages in again, you’re fucking rude, he’s only 6, so I said DON’T LET HIM ANSWER THE DOOR THEN! and then I think oops, I’d better shut up as she’s a bit scary and I don’t want her to hit me and I’m far too sober for a row and as much as she seems to like showing herself up in the street I’m finding it a bit embarrassing and hope the other neighbours can’t hear this going on and she’s blah blah blah, carrying on, you’re so out of fucking order and I said look, I said I’m sorry, I don’t have kids, it didn’t occur to me, how many times do I have to say it? and she said ok apology accepted but I’m not taking in any more deliveries for you so I said fair enough and pikey chav woman goes home and I’m traumatised for the rest of the evening and most of the next day but I am recovered now and I put my Garmin outside to get a signal as I’m too much of a wuss to stand around in the cold waiting for it and I see the sheep on top of the TV and I think sheep needs a monkey and I can’t decide which way to go round the marshes and do I want to do the boring bit first or last and I decide to do that bit last and I get to the path and it’s blocked off and I think oh no the path is blocked off but it’s not completely blocked off and I run up the steps at the footbridge and go past the stables and don’t stop to stroke the horses and go through the bridge and I can see a man coming down the path but it’s ok as he has a dog and I go along the boring bit and I’m trying to decide what to write for my journalism assignment as it was going to be about marathon training for vegetarians but I decide as my marathon training only lasted a week I’m probably not in much of a position to write about the training part and as my diet over the last few months has consisted mainly of wine and Kettle Chips, I’m probably not best equipped to be writing about nutrition either¬† and I’ve managed to do the whole three miles without walking even though I haven’t run for three weeks and I get home and I think yippee that was good, I want to go out and do it again.¬† Hurrah.

Distance: 3:02 miles
Time: 31:20
Pace: 10:22 m/m
Calories: 286
Neighbours doing DIY: 1
Pikey chav neighbours: 1
Sheep needing monkeys: 1
Stereo Total
Faith No More
The The


  • Well I’m glad I’m not the only one who can’t be arsed to go running at the moment – I’ve been once in the past month. Maybe it’s the weather. Or maybe I’m just a lazy cow who just prefers drinking wine and slobbing out on the sofa.

    Anyway, glad you’re back into it again.

  • You’ve been running and haven’t blogged? Tsk. I’ve been waiting and waiting for you to blog. It’s been ages.

  • God, your neighbour is well out of order! Stupid woman shouldn’t let a six year old answer the door!

  • But nothing interesting happens when I DO run. Although a fellow dog walker I speak to did get stampeded by a load of cows and jumped over a fence and fell in the brook where I run which would have been quite entertaining, but I missed it.

    I plan to run at lunchtime, so let’s hope something interesting happens!

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