Vengeance
After being outed on MY OWN BLOG by Shaun (aka my future ex-boyfriend) on my previous post for being really stupid, I go to work with vengeance in my heart and the overwhelming desire to Get. Shaun. Back. For. Outing. Me. On. MY. OWN. BLOG. For. Being. Really. Stupid. So I get to work and before settling down to do work type stuff I read EVERY SINGLE PAGE ON THE INTERNET until I find one that agrees with me and, more importantly, proves him wrong.
But I don’t find one.
Not about the peanut thing anyway. Fuck, I spent 38 years and 10 months and 28 days thinking that peanuts were nuts. And the one day I decide to be sarky about peanut butter labelling and post on my blog for all the internet people to read “peanuts are what, peas?”, I find out that, yes, they are actually.
Duh.
But, my future ex-boyfriend also said when he outed me for being really stupid, that bananas aren’t fruit, so I re-read EVERY SINGLE PAGE ON THE INTERNET until I found one that agreed with me, and found this page that says “A banana … is undoubtedly a fruit …“.
Ner.
Stats:
Future ex-boyfriends: 1
Pages read on the internet: all of them
Revelations that peanuts are peas and not nuts: 1
Revelations that bananas are not fruit: 0
Women that are probably too old to be writing things like “duh” and “ner” on blogs: 1
I forget, being new to the internet, that people can easily check the snippets of information that lurk in my brain as useless facts. Shame this one means i’m a future ex-boyfriend – i’ve been happy referring to you as my “current girlfriend” for ages and fancied an upgrade – not to go in the opposite direction.
Quality blog post! Keep them coming.