Not running on empty

After a good night’s sleep, I’m looking forward to a running commute.  I’m also looking forward to going for pizza with my cheapskate Pizza Express 2 for 1 voucher at lunchtime but I meet up with Mel and we get to Pizza Express and the waitress says it’s full and it’ll be a while ’til we get a table so we go to Itsu instead and I’m not impressed by their veggie selection, i.e. they’ve hardly got fuck all but I get dynamite vegetable dumplings which is a noodley dumplingy soupy thing which comes in a huge tub and I think this is going to take hours to eat and it’s a bit bland and very messy to eat and I’m splashing it everywhere and Mel’s not doing much better with hers and we eventually leave with some of the food going in our mouths and not over our clothes or the table or the people next to us and go back to work and I’m completely stuffed with the noodley dumplingy soupy thing even two hours later and I think I’m going to bounce home on my running commute and it gets to hometime and I get changed and think fuck, it’s going to be cold outside and I get outside and fuck, it’s cold and I start to walk while I wait for my Garmin to get a signal and it’s taking ages and I think I’m going to be at Sadler’s Wells by the time I get a signal and lo! I’m just going past Sadler’s Wells when it does indeed get a signal and I decide to walk through Angel with its crowded pavements and annoying free newspaper giver outers and I get to Islington Green and think I should probably run now and so I do and I remember my boss asking me if I’ve seen the taxidermist on Essex Road and I said no and he told me where it was but luckily it’s on the other side of the road that I run on and I don’t want to see the dead animals and I’m surprised he told me about it and doesn’t he know I’m vegetarian and therefore not really into dead animals? and I’m bursting for a wee as I’ve only had liquid all day and I wonder if there’s any toilets in Hackney Downs station and I think I don’t care if there are, I’m not going to a public toilet in Hackney, I’ll get mugged or something, and I’m going up the steep bit that I usually want to walk up due to it being a steep bit and I try to think of things to take my mind off a) the steep bit; and b) the fact I’m bursting for a wee but I can’t think of anything and someone starts singing something about blood and death being dragged out and screaming for mercy and I think that’s not really what I want to hear as I’m running through Hackney so I skip through that track and there’s a man in a wheelchair at a bus stop on Murder Mile and at the next bus stop there’s another man in a wheelchair and I’m wondering if someone had tried to murder them but only succeeded in paralysing them and then there’s a cyclist on the pavement and I think fuck off cyclist on pavement, but then I remember that half the pavement is a cycle lane and he’s allowed to be on there, and then the pavement narrows and the cycle lane bit is tiny and there’s a cyclist behind me wanting to get past so I let him get past even though it means he goes on the walking bit and then there’s a cyclist on the pavement that is just a pavement and not a cycle lane and I give him an evil look and he gives me an even eviler look and I think oops, maybe I shouldn’t have given him an evil look and then he’s slowed down to get round a woman and her pushchair and I overtake him and he swerves over and nearly pushes me into the bus shelter and I think just fuck off into the road can’t you? and he does fuck off into the road and I think hurrah for that and I get home without any more cyclists being on the pavement and I think I’ll just have to live with them being on the pavement until they change the laws to make it legal to shoot cyclists if I feel like it.

Distance: 5.26 miles
Time: 59:58 minutes
Pace: 11:22
Calories: 520
Pizzas: 0
Noodley dumplingy soupy thing: 1
Cyclists on pavements: 3
Laws making it legal to shoot cyclists: 0 (at the moment)
The Dude
PJ Harvey
The Cure
Missy Elliot
Rollins Band
Jesus & Mary Chain
Arctic Monkeys
The Music

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