Cold Tofurkey
I decided I was spending too much time on Facebook, so took the drastic decision to deactivate my account, just for a little while you understand, not forever, just in a I-like-to-piss-myself-off-now-and-again-by-abstaining-from-the-things-I-enjoy-the-most kind of way and so at around 10pm last night, I deactivated my account and this morning I woke up really early and thought what shall I do? I know, I can spend lots of time on Facebook before I go to work, hurrah, and then remembered that bah, no, I can’t, I deactivated my account, maybe I’ll go for a run instead and then I thought na, it’s too cold, maybe I’ll get up and read or do some writing but then I fell back asleep and woke up with only the time to do the usual morning stuff minus the stalking-people-on-Facebook things and when I got to work I was missing Facebook so much, I decided to make my own paper-based Facebook and wrote down what I would have updated my Facebook status with. Here are the results:
(Imagine each one preceded by “Cathy is” [anyone even THINKING the word “sad” at this point is going to be in big trouble].)
- missing Facebook (at 09:30)
- the owner of the Roots 30th Anniversary Edition DVD box set (09:47)
- eating an apple: (10:36)
- writing down the things she would have posted on Facebook (10:47)
- cancelling her mobile internet subscription (11:02)
- missing Facebook (11:20)
- wondering what everyone’s doing on Facebook (11:21)
- wondering if ginger people should wear tight green jeans (11:25)
- wondering if Sainsburys are going to give her a free box of chocolates again this year (11:37)
- wondering if she will be able to resist the urge to re-activate her Facebook account tonight (12:36)
- wondering if Shaun’s on drugs (14:00)
- going to resist eating any more chocolate brownies (14:27)
- wondering if going Facebook cold turkey for a week involves not logging on tonight to let everyone know she’s going cold turkey for a week (14:54)
- going to ignore the fact there’s food in the boardroom (14:54)
- ignoring the cream cakes (14:56)
- wondering how she got chosen as a guru (15:30)
- wondering what to give up for a month next (15:40)
- wondering whether to meet Gary in a bar instead of outside the cheese shop (16:00)
- happy that she at least has webmail even if she has no Facebook (16:19)
- going to meet Gary outside the cheese shop (16:59)
- looking at the www.pizzamaniac.com website (17:00)
- wondering why people put make up on to go home (17:10)
- wondering why, if Stella is so reassuringly expensive, is Tescos selling 8 cans for £4?
Now that I’ve written this, I’m wondering how “eating a banana” got left off somewhere between ignoring the cream cakes and being a guru. Surely that was an important part of the day?
Stats:
Online Facebooks: 0
Paper-based Facebooks: 1
Bananas forgotten about inbetween ignoring cream cakes and being a guru: 1
Just in at number 11 owing to weirdness, eh? Mmmm. Something needs adjustment. Just don’t abstain from your boyfriend to piss yourself off though, eh?
God, would you really have posted this many status updates? You do know about Twitter don’t you? I can’t get enough of it.
I signed up to Twitter last year but didn’t see the point of it. I never used to see the point of Facebook either though, so will re-investigate it!
8 cans for £4 – that’s a bloody good bargain! Thankfully my local Woolworths is being converted to a Tesco, I hope they get on with it.
Ooh, I wonder if my local Woolworths will be converted into a Tesco. Not that I want to buy 8 cans of Stella though.