Cold Tofurkey

I decided I was spending too much time on Facebook, so took the drastic decision to deactivate my account, just for a little while you understand, not forever, just in a I-like-to-piss-myself-off-now-and-again-by-abstaining-from-the-things-I-enjoy-the-most kind of way and so at around 10pm last night, I deactivated my account and this morning I woke up really early and thought what shall I do?  I know, I can spend lots of time on Facebook before I go to work, hurrah, and then remembered that bah, no, I can’t, I deactivated my account, maybe I’ll go for a run instead and then I thought na, it’s too cold, maybe I’ll get up and read or do some writing but then I fell back asleep and woke up with only the time to do the usual morning stuff minus the stalking-people-on-Facebook things and when I got to work I was missing Facebook so much, I decided to make my own paper-based Facebook and wrote down what I would have updated my Facebook status with.  Here are the results:

(Imagine each one preceded by “Cathy is” [anyone even THINKING the word “sad” at this point is going to be in big trouble].)

  1. missing Facebook (at 09:30)
  2. the owner of the Roots 30th Anniversary Edition DVD box set (09:47)
  3. eating an apple: (10:36)
  4. writing down the things she would have posted on Facebook (10:47)
  5. cancelling her mobile internet subscription (11:02)
  6. missing Facebook (11:20)
  7. wondering what everyone’s doing on Facebook (11:21)
  8. wondering if ginger people should wear tight green jeans (11:25)
  9. wondering if Sainsburys are going to give her a free box of chocolates again this year (11:37)
  10. wondering if she will be able to resist the urge to re-activate her Facebook account tonight (12:36)
  11. wondering if Shaun’s on drugs (14:00)
  12. going to resist eating any more chocolate brownies (14:27)
  13. wondering if going Facebook cold turkey for a week involves not logging on tonight to let everyone know she’s going cold turkey for a week (14:54)
  14. going to ignore the fact there’s food in the boardroom (14:54)
  15. ignoring the cream cakes (14:56)
  16. wondering how she got chosen as a guru (15:30)
  17. wondering what to give up for a month next (15:40)
  18. wondering whether to meet Gary in a bar instead of outside the cheese shop (16:00)
  19. happy that she at least has webmail even if she has no Facebook (16:19)
  20. going to meet Gary outside the cheese shop (16:59)
  21. looking at the website (17:00)
  22. wondering why people put make up on to go home (17:10)
  23. wondering why, if Stella is so reassuringly expensive, is Tescos selling 8 cans for £4?

Now that I’ve written this, I’m wondering how “eating a banana” got left off somewhere between ignoring the cream cakes and being a guru.  Surely that was an important part of the day?

Online Facebooks: 0
Paper-based Facebooks: 1
Bananas forgotten about inbetween ignoring cream cakes and being a guru: 1


Please leave me a comment - I love comments!