Eating, drinking and sleeping

Every Christmas, starting from the day after my birthday, I get sluggish with a capital S.  Actually make that sluggish with a capital l, u, g, g, i, s and h too and so when on Christmas Day Shaun comes up with the bright idea of going for a run, I say noooooo I can’t, I’ve got a stomach ache and he says it’s ok, it’ll make me feel better and so I say noooooo I can’t, running together’s naff and he says it’s ok, it’s Christmas Day, naffness is allowed and I say noooooo I can’t, I’ve got roast potatoes to make and he says it’s ok, we can make them when we get back and I say noooooo I can’t, there’s champagne to be drunk and chocolates Garmin Forerunner 405to be eaten and he says it’s ok, we can eat and drink when we get back and I say noooooo I can’t, my hair’s clean and it’ll get greasy and dirty and I can’t be bothered to wash it again and he can’t think of an answer to that one and just looks at me blankly and says please? and I think I do want to try out his new Garmin Forerunner 405 and so I say ok then and he puts a scruffy old jumper over his nice new running top and he’s got dodgy shorts on and I say I can’t be seen out with you looking like that and he says yes you can, come on and he goes outside with his new Garmin 405 and my old Garmin Forerunner 301 and he comes back two seconds later and says his 405’s got a signal already andpink iPod Shuffle I think I need a 405 too and we wait for my 301 to get a signal which it does eventually and I think I’m going to look like a saddo with this thing taking up half my arm and we get outside and I go to turn my new pink iPod Shuffle on and then remember that I didn’t bring it out with me and we head off towards the marshes and I remember why I don’t like running without my iPod and it’s not just to drown out Shaun’s whittering but also to drown out the sound of my heavy breathing Strange looking mouse toyand stomping feet and we pass quite a few people but not one of them says Merry Christmas or morning or anything, the miserable gits, and I get a stitch and I’m going really slowly, so slowly in fact that at one point Shaun stops to walk and he’s still going faster than me and we eventually get round the three miles and go home to make roast potatoes and watch the cat play with the strangest looking mouse toy in the world ever.

Distance: 3.02 miles
Time: 31:58 minutes
Pace: 10:35
Calories: 276
Excuses for not running: 5
Excuses for not running taken notice of: 0
Pink iPods: 1
Strange looking mouse toys: 1
People saying Merry Christmas: 0

One comment

  • Merry Christmas JB 😉

    I managed a couple of runs and got a couple of smiles and hellos, but no Merry Christmases. But then, running like a blur, they wouldn’t have had chance (ahem).

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