JogBlog v Cedric the Stick Man
After a reverse sleepness night, i.e. I fitfully slept between 3am and 7am, instead of between 11pm and 3am, I get up with the resolve to beat Cedric, my Garmin’s virtual partner as, after all, I’m only down for two miles today and if I can’t do two miles at 10 minute miles, then I’m even feebler than I originally thought and so I consult the Gmaps Pedometer website as I’m planning to go along the boring bit as that will save me from having to stop at the main road and going over the footbridge and Gmaps says that one mile is not even as far as the bridge and I think but hang on, I’m sure my Garmin tells me a mile is up to the marina but I think ho hum, I’ll just see what happens and I get outside and I think oh shit, I’ve forgotten my gloves and it’s a bit nippy out what with it being December and a particularly cold December at that but I think oh well, I’m only going to be out for 20 minutes and I set off and it tells me Cedric’s in the lead, and I think what? already? and he stays in the lead for a while until I catch him up and I think ha ha, take that Cedric, I’m going to be the champion and there’s an old man standing by the railings pretending to look at something and I think why’s that old man standing by the railings pretending to look at something and he stops pretending to look at something and walks/shuffles off and I get towards the bridge and my Garmin does indeed say I’ve almost gone a mile and I think it’s just as well as I can see a truck clearing away the carpets that I saw yesterday had been dumped outside the bridge and as my Garmin ticks over to a mile I turn round and go back the way I came and I think I’ve never done that before and then Keane or some such shite comes on my iPod and I think fuck off Keane and quickly skip that track and I think Keane are so unnecessary, just like Coldplay, Travis and the Ting Tings who shouldn’t be played on XFM which, after all, is supposed to be London’s Only Alternative or at least it was in the olden days before Capital took it over and I overtake the old man again who is still walking and hasn’t stopped again to pretend to look at something and then there’s a woman running alongside her kid on its bike and I don’t think the kid’s going to be able to get out of my way as he’s looking a bit wobbly and the woman doesn’t look like she’s going to move either and I think what am I supposed to do then? and then the woman does move but only to the other side of the kid and I think that doesn’t really help much, they’re still taking up the pavement and I manage to go round the side of her and she doesn’t look very happy but I think fuck off, it’s my pavement too and I’m nearly home and still in the lead and I’m knackered and a bit light-headed and I think oh, maybe this is what training’s about, putting a bit of effort in and then my Garmin says goal reached, press the stop button and I press the stop button and the little stick man who’s pretending to be me is standing there with its arms in the air in a I’ve just done an Ironman pose and it says success, you had 00:00:55 to spare which means that I am the champion. Sorry Cedric.
Distance: 2.00 miles
Time: 19:06 minutes
Old men pretending to look at something: 1
Women with kids on bikes in my way: 1
Cedrics beaten: 1