Rebel with a treadmill

Today’s attempt at half marathon training called for 3.5 miles and I think shall I get the train half way home and run from there? and I think na, I’ll go to the gym and do it on the treadmill and hopefully not leave an important part of my brain on it, unlike when I did my 90 minute eight mile treadmill extravaganza the year before last and was unable to walk for about two months afterwards and I get to the gym and the air conditioning’s on high in the changing room like don’t they know it’s minus 10 outside? and I get on a treadmill as fortunately they haven’t all been nabbed by the new year resolution people and the girl next to me’s doing 11.2kph and I think oh, I can’t go that fast and I set mine to 9.5kph and I’m looking at the TV screens and on one of them someone’s making runny brownies and I think mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I like brownies and on the other screen is Jasper Carrott and I wonder if he’s always been that bald and then after the runny brownies programme it says Celebrity Big Brother’s Little Brother’s coming on next and I wonder if I should be a saddo and put my iPod headphones into the TV socket thingy and listen to it and I decide not to as I’m not sure I can balance on a treadmill and watch TV at the same time and then Jack Off Jill start singing their brilliant cover of Love Song and it spurs me on and makes me forget about the Z-listers on CBBLB and I’ve gone over the 20 minutes allowed on the machines between 5pm and 7pm and I think ho hum, I didn’t get arrested by the 20 minutes cardio police when I did my eight miles and it gets to 5k and I wonder how long .6 of a k will take and why can’t they put the machines in miles? and there’s an RSPC advert or programme or something and it’s showing two dogs getting Blue fuzzy catkicked and I think I’m going to be sick and then they show some puppies and I think OOOOOOOOOOOOOH PUPPIES, YAY, and then I think actually I don’t want a puppy, I want a blue fuzzy cat and I eventually get to 5.6k which is about 3.5 miles and I press the cool down button and do the five minutes cooling down thing which has me walking at 4kph for the last minute and I hope no one can see me walking really slowly on the treadmill and then I think no of course they won’t, there’s only about 100 people in here and I’m sure no one noticed and I look at my watch and I’ve killed it with sweat as it says it’s 8pm so I look at the clock on the wall and it says it’s 6:15pm and I wonder if I should go on the rowing machine for fifteen minutes and I get off the treadmill and my legs are wobbly and the floor appears to be moving underneath me and I think hmm, maybe I’ll just go straight home and I go to the changing rooms and the air conditioning’s still trying to freeze everyone to death and I get changed and go home and tomorrow’s schedule calls for 2 miles or cross-training and now I have to decide whether to go to the gym at lunchtime and cross-train or do two miles on the treadmill after work or try and motivate myself to run in the street after work in the evening when I get home.

Distance: 3.48 miles
Time: 36:00 minutes
Pace: 10:21
Calories: 344
Air conditioning’s on: 1
Bald Jasper Carrotts: 1
Blue fuzzy cats: 1
Jack Off Jill



    How the hell did you manage to do 8 miles on a treadmill? Please share, as the most I can do before I die of boredom is 4.

  • Pure determination! Not to be recommended though, it was horrible.

  • Nice, eight mile run on a treadmill, that was quite tiring and I don’t think I can do that even if I have enough practice. Something like this needs extensive training and lots and lots of will power to run in 90 minutes. I would rather challenge myself into a treadmill vs. elliptical workout on which one I can last longer. Maybe joining a marathon for you would be a piece of cake and you can even be the winner of the race. More power to you and I hope that you continue to do your best and make amazing records in the future.

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