Polaroid Polarized sunglasses
After subtly hinting to the nice lady at Marketing Zone that I quite fancied trying out some Polaroid polarized sunglasses that she recommended, she quickly threw on some bling, put on a dodgy tracksuit, lit a cigar, changed her name to Jim’ll and fixed it for me to have some nice new sunglasses to try out.
It’s taken me a while to get round to trying them as a) I fell down a rabbit hole and hurt my ankle; b) there’s been no sun; and c) I forgot, but today as I woke up with the sun streaming through the curtains I thought today will be the day to try them out.
I’m not really a sunglasses wearing person as I look stupid in them. I actually think everyone looks stupid in sunglasses but being from London automatically makes me waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cooler than anyone else round here so I think I can get away with it.
Here’s the case they come in
and here they are in the case
My able assistant offers to take my photo and I say ok but hang on, I’ve just got up, let me brush my hair first and he says no, you’re going running, you don’t need to brush your hair so here’s a scruffy photo of me.
So I take myself and my new sunglasses out for a run and they’re very light and don’t move at all and I get round the corner and there’s a big tractor thing coming down the road and I stop to let it pass and then it stops and I think why has the big tractor thing stopped? and I look up and the nice man is waving me past and probably thinking what are you doing you stupid townie? and I smile and say thank you and walk past and carry on running and trying to remember the way I’m supposed to be going as it’s a new route and a route which avoids the bad road with the bends and rabbit holes and there’s a man coming along pushing a buggy and as I get closer I realise it’s not a buggy but a wheelbarrow and I wonder why he’s pushing his baby along in a wheelbarrow and maybe he grew it along with some potatoes or something and it’s a nice sunny day and obviously I haven’t got the sun in my eyes as I’m wearing my new supercool sunglasses and they don’t make everything dark and I keep forgetting I’m wearing them and then I turn off and hope I’m going the right way and a coach comes up behind me and I’m not liking these country lanes and why can’t they build some pavements or maybe just cover the whole place in concrete and then I’m on a bit with bends and I thought I was going to avoid any bends and I stop to let a car go past and then four more cars go past and I’m wobbling and shaking so much I have to hold on to a branch to steady myself and stop myself from wobbling into the road and getting squished and I think I must have gone the wrong way but at least this road is smooth and not covered in holes like most of them are and then I SEE COWS and I wish I’d brought my camera as the cows are right up near the fence, so close I could poke them but I decide not to poke them in case cows don’t like being poked and I say goodbye to the cows and carry on and I’m walking most of the time now and not liking these roads and cars and there’s quite a few cars today and they’re all going quickly too and pass me too closely and I want to get home and I think I must have gone the wrong way and I wonder how much of a detour I’ve done and then I see some houses and I realise I’m on the road that will have a pavement in a minute and then I’m on the pavement and I walk up the hill and go home.
Distance: 3.45 miles
Pace: 12:08 m/m
New pairs of sunglasses: 1
Big tractor things: 1
Babies in wheelbarrows: 1
Bends: a few
Faith No More