Rain

When I woke up this morning, I wondered if running was a good idea after cycling 20 miles yesterday, but I felt ok so I went downstairs to see if the mystery banana thieves had been in overnight but lo! there were bananas sitting happily on the kitchen worktop, so I had a banana and blueberry smoothie and went back upstairs to play on Facebook do some very important work and I look out the window and it’s raining and I think maybe I shouldn’t run and then I think but I like running in the rain and I wonder if I should wear a long sleeved top as I might be a lightweight and walk most of my run and then freeze and I ponder this on Twitter and get a few answers along the lines of long sleeves will slow me down when they get wet (thanks @joliciousjewels); it’s still too hot for long sleeves (thanks @warriorwoman); and arms dry quicker than clothes (thanks @haulingmycarcas) and so I pull out a dark blue t-shirt from the drawer but then I think that it’s a bit grey and dark outside and maybe I should wear something a bit brighter as I’ve got to run on these stupid country roads and the country people might need more of a visual clue that I’m there running along the stupid country roads and I get outside and there’s a van on the pavement and I think HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET ROUND YOUR VAN MR WHITE VAN WANKER MAN? and I can’t walk around it as the road’s too busy and I’ll get squished and so I squeeze through the gap between the hedge and the van and I duck to get under the mirror but I unduck too soon and hurt my shoulder on the mirror and I hope I’ve broken his mirror and I think bah and I start running and I get to the vegetable house and there’s nothing there; no eggs, no vegetables, no price list, no jar for money, no board or anything and I wonder where the vegetable people have gone and maybe they’re on holiday or moved or got shot by the gypsies or something and then I turn off round the little road that is so small you wouldn’t think any cars would ever go down it but every time I go down it there is a car, including this time as a car goes past me and I step onto the verge to get out of its way and the man in the car gives me the half-wave-while-still-keeping-a-thumb-on-the-steering-wheel-thing and I get round the corner to the busy road that Shaun said he wouldn’t run on but that’s because he’s a lightweight and I am obviously far more hardcore than he and the house that on Sunday was selling the bikes outside for £10 each is still selling them but they’re both kid’s bikes and I don’t think I’ll get looked at down noses if I got one of them any less than I would do on my Pashley Poppy if I do the 40 mile cycle race I’ve entered and then I get back to the land of pavements and houses and I decide to carry on going and go the long way back and the camber’s killing my leg and I go in the middle of the road but I don’t like it in the middle of the road so I go back to the side and I get to the tree and I think hooray, just a mile to go and can I make it without walking? but I doubt it and a car goes past and there’s plenty of room for him to get past me but he goes half on the verge and I think why are you doing that, you moron? there’s plenty of room and so I go on the verge to let him pass and he doesn’t bother to do the half-wave-while-still-keeping-a-thumb-on-the-steering-wheel-thing and I think well next time I’ll just let you run me over and then I think that’ll probably hurt me more than it will hurt him and I get to 3.85 miles and I stop to walk and I think NOOOOOOOOOOOO, NO WALKING and so I start to run again and I get to 3.91 miles and I start to walk again and I think in a second I’ll be going past the cows and I can’t let the cows see me walking because they will mock me and so I start to run again and I think at least make it as far as the road and I’m not too far from the road and if I laid down and stretched out really far, as far as I can, stretching all the way from my toes to my fingertips then, um, I still wouldn’t reach the road but it’s not that far away and I make it to the road and I decide to walk the last half a mile but I sort of run/walk it back to the house.

Today’s route

Stats:
Distance: 4.59 miles
Time: 52:25
Pace: 11:26 m/m
Calories: 475
Mystery banana thieves: 0
White van wanker mans: 1
Hurt shoulders: 1
Vegetable houses with vegetables: 0
Car drivers doing the half-wave-while-still-keeping-a-thumb-on-the-steering-wheel-thing: 1
Car drivers not doing the half-wave-while-still-keeping-a-thumb-on-the-steering-wheel-thing: 1
Cows mocking me: 0
Music:
Foo Fighters
The Smiths
Muse
Nirvana
Basement Jaxx
Blur