Mono
This morning early hours insomniac’s iambic pentameter was
I’m trying to remember what sleep is.
Yawn.
Still, up at 10, so not too bad considering I didn’t get to sleep ‘til after 3 and I had planned to go for an outside run but it’s raining and so I decide to go to the gym and hope no one thinks I’m a newbie and I get outside and I remember that I like running in the rain, so why I decided to wimp out, I don’t know and I walk down the road and put on my iPod and DISASTER! ONLY ONE EARPIECE IS WORKING and I try to think if I have any spare ones but I only have crappy Apple iPod ones that aren’t worth using and the only other ones I have are the wireless ones that make me look like a dork and if I wear those, people will laugh at me and anyway, Shaun’s been using them and they only have Audiofuel on and as much as I love Audiofuel, I want to listen to other stuff when I’m in the gym and anyway, I don’t want to have to turn around and go home and come out again and so I continue with my mono Shuffle and I get to the gym and it’s empty which means ALL THE NEWBIES HAVE FUCKED OFF ALREADY! Result.
I do twenty minutes on the rowing machine, trying not to let the fact that I’ve got good music (i.e. what I brought with me) in one ear and crap music (i.e. whatever’s playing on the gym stereo) in the other wind me up too much and then I go on the treadmill and run on it for 2 miles and then it goes into the cool down bit for 5 minutes and I think oh no, it’ll be walking speed soon and someone might come in and think I’m one of those newbies who walk on the treadmill and I think PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME, I’m not a newbie, it’s just the obsessed part of me can’t get off until it’s done the cool down bit and after 30 seconds, it’s on walking speed and I walk on the treadmill for four minutes and thirty seconds and then I go on the cross-trainer for 20 minutes and then I go home and think stupid Guardian woman can fuck off, ‘coz I love my gym.
Stats (treadmill)
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 22:02
Pace: 11.01m/m
Calories: 210
Rowing machine:
Time: 20 minutes
Calories: 145
Cross-trainer:
Time: 20 minutes
Calories: 100
The newbies have fucked off?! *runs to gym* I’ve only just stopped moaning about that article, I won’t start again on here, but I hate it. And 20 mins on the rowing machine? You’re my hero, it kills me after about 3.
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Stupid guardian woman indeed. What utter hogwash! The gym is a place for elite athletes only. Tosh, barnicles and balderdash. Whatever happened to moderation and the great spirit of enthsuiam? Typical bloody media.
*gets off soapbox*
LOL at the good music in one ear and crap in the other 😀
As entertaining as ever! Nice one Cathy.
you always make me smile after a crappy day 🙂 thanks cathy
I have had some really crappy headphones for my IPOD which tend to last 6 months and then die. Until I was sent a pair of Sennheiser headphones the quality has been 10 times better and they are still going strong after a year
Yeah I was at the gym yesterday lunch and I was the only one in there for ages! It was great. Of course when someone did walk in it was at the exact moment I was taking a photo of my socks to put on my blog and it was someone who works at same place I do. *Sigh*
what’s guardian-gal’s VO2 Max? ha. And I have lots of half-functional headphones. maybe between the two of us, we can put one working pair together….
I am completely with you on the paranoia of the ‘newbie’ tag… I used to be a member of my gym until I gave up paying for it when I wasn’t going… and my friend has invited me to go along for a ‘free’ weekend… but I won’t because everyone will think I’m a newbie… and I’m not because I run a lot and I USED to go to the same gym… I’m also, like you, not in the least bit competitive!!
🙂
I want a badge that says “this is not a new year’s resolution”, I would wear it with my imaginary badges that say “I am choosing to run at this speed – it part of an interval” and “please do not call me an ambulance, I may not look it but I am fine, really”.
Did you read the other g2 article about newbies? That annoyed me in parts as well. If I can form a coherent argument, I may whinge about them tomorrow.
Grrrrr that Guardian woman – rar!! And the link from that page where the guy is moaning about joggers – she doesn’t want them in the gym he doesn;t want them out of it! Anyway, great blog – got us all thinking and commenting! Awesome work out too. Cx