Competition: Win a copy of Born to Run by Christopher McDougall
After saying to Tom that I’d look forward to his Juneathon sestina (after being promised one for Janathon, dum de dum…), Tom asked if I would make do with a limerick instead.
I said no.
But, it did inspire me to have a bit of fun before the hard work of Juneathon commences and hold a competition, so I’m giving away a copy of Born to Run by Christopher McDougall.
I’m not much of a book reviewer (and it’s been a while since I read it) but it’s a book about a bloke who goes running with those Tarahumara dudes in Mexico. It’s a highly entertaining read and a brilliantly written book, as you can see from the glowing reviews on amazon.
To win a copy, all you have to do is write a limerick and post it below. The one I like the best, wins.
To start you off, here’s the first line:
There once was a runner in Kent
Off you go then!
Terms and conditions
Competition closes midnight Tuesday 31 May 2011
UK entrants only (unless you want to pay the postage)
I’ve never written a limerick before, but here goes! 🙂
There once was a runner in Kent
Whose leg was a little bit bent
He went for a jog
And fell in a bog
And that was the end of that gent
There once was a runner in Kent
And running she everyday went;
It was never so far,
Just to the first bar…
She was the happiest runner in Kent!
🙂
There once was a runner from Kent
Who gave up on jogging for Lent
Instead she ate chocolate
Until she was sick a lot
And instead of a skirt bought a tent!
But then this young runner from Kent
She thought it was time to repent
So she dug out her trainers
And shocked all her neighbours
Then came first in a racing event!
There once was a runner in Kent,
and barefoot running she went.
She stepped in some dog poo
and a sharp piece of bamboo.
Money on shoes is well-spent!
There once was a runner from Kent
A lovely free book she was sent
She said, “freebies, ta”
Then went to a bar
To ask for a free beer, she went
There once was a runner in Kent
Who gave up his running for Lent
But he lost his fine figure
As he got ever bigger
And when he started again his shorts rent!
There once was a runner in Kent
Round Chatham and Margate she went
Five miles past Dover
She nearly keeled over
And by Ashford was totally spent
PS I’ve read the book and it’s terrific, but I like writing Limericks
There once was a runner from Kent
Who decided to try to invent:
She took running shoes,
Added wings with strong glue.
Flying shoes? Nah, all they did was ferment.
Enjoy!
There once was a runner in Kent,
Who’d just squat on the road when she ‘went’,
“It may not look charmin’ ”
She’d say, “but my Garmin
Justifies all those pennies I’ve spent!”
There was once a runner in Kent,
With an outfit not fit for a gent,
It sparkled and shimmered,
his once hidden regions glimmered,
A run round the block turned into a dramatic event.
there once was a runner from kent
who set off with the best of intent
but she met with a farmer
who she suspected would harm her
so she buried him alive in cement
There once was a runner from Kent
Who trained only on cement,
When she went for a run on grass,
She fell flat on her ample ****,
So off to the hospital she went.
there once was a runner in Kent
who decided to run non-stop to Gent
what an idiot!
There once was a runner from Kent
Whose time was frequently spent
Pondering haiku
Whilst riding her bike through
Nice fields full of cows : Stop and take a photograph : First check their consent.
There once was a runner in Kent
Wound up the staircase it went
Made of blue nylon
It had a deep pile on
And a strange ’70’s scent.
There once was a runner from Kent
Whose time was haphazardly spent
racing miles through the town
in a pink dressing gown
turning heads in each street where he went.
There was once a runner from Kent
Who wanted to win a present
He picked up his Bic
To write a Limerick
Now he’s waiting for it to be sent
Just want to log my partners contributions as it’s the closest he’ll get to running so he is not a Juneathon member – but I quite like the limerick!
There once was a runner from Kent
who jogged in what looked like a tent
When seen from afar
he looked like a car
and caused a big pile-up in Brent.
There once was a runner in Kent
Whose intentions were well meant.
Believing Lands End
Was just round the bend
Her fervour soon took a dent.
I got a bit carried away! I do like a silly rhyme. I hope multiple submissions are allowed.
1.
There was a runner in Kent
Who tried a great new supplement
When she tried to explain
Her sudden weight gain
She found that she’d begun to ferment.
2.
There was a runner in Kent
Whose leg had some hideous dents
She tried running laps
To fill in the gaps
But resorted, at last, to cement.
For those who don’t like rude limericks, skip the next bit.
3.
There was a runner in Kent,
Whose tights lacked suitable vents,
She got a right sweaty bum
When she went for a run
And was pursued by unsuitable gents
There was a runner in Kent,
Who now found her running days spent,
No longer jogging,
She spends her days blogging,
But still gives one hundred percent!
There once was a runner from Kent
Who was known to be quite flatulent
In a race he’d sprint off at the start
Propelled forward by the force of his fart
Which all agreed had an odious scent
There once was a runner in Kent
who when faced with a daunting ascent
recalled days he’d been inclined
to decline an incline
and wished that they’d been better spent
There once was a runner in Kent
Who always ran at 100 percent
So when juneathon came
and local adventures abstained
He thought “I could win this event!”
There once was a runner in Kent
Whose youth was very much mispent
So he joined a running club
So he could run to the pub
Now he’s fitter but has a new scent!
There was once a runner from Kent,
Her application for juneathon sent,
She started her blogging,
But forgot about the jogging,
In fact she forgot what it meant!
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