The Girl Who Didn’t Wait For The Green Man

I’m not going to start this blog by saying I have been running, honest.

Oh, I just did. Oops.

Anyway, I can never think of how to start a blog post; thinking of a title’s hard enough [so hard that sometimes I just revert to lyrics from obscure songs [for ‘obscure’ read ‘unpopular’] that no one ever gets the reference to] so that will just have to do.

A while ago, I lost one of the little rubbery bits on my headphones that go in your ear. I put the larger ones on but they keep falling out as I obviously have little titchy tiny girly ears. It’s either that or I just have really sweaty ears that keep pushing the larger ones out. We’ll go for the former, eh? I was fed up with them falling out all the time, so looked around for some new ones and thought about getting some Sennheisers but the ones within what I wanted to spend didn’t look like they were in-ear ones, and I NEED in-ear ones to cut out the noise from people on the train annoying me by talking to each other (I mean, really? How dare they have a conversation) or on their mobiles (see previous comment). Although I’d never had any before, I quite fancied some of those over-the-ear ones, as I’d heard they do actually stay on. These Panasonic ones seemed to fit the bill as they’re in-ear and over-ear, and also really cheap.

And they’re brill.

They don’t move at all when they’re on and they’re so comfy, you don’t even notice they’re there (I really want to put a ‘their’ in there somewhere but don’t know where). As far as I can tell, the sound’s quality’s good but I wouldn’t exactly call myself an audiophile, so don’t sue me if you buy these and then tell me you "can hear a coloration that in my experience has shown to indicate a treble peak” [I obviously nicked that from somewhere. If you want more lovely words I don’t understand pretentiousness, you’ll find it here].

With my lovely new headphones in place, I set out the door for my run. Although, from inside the house, the world outside looked dull and grey, once outside, the sun was out and I wondered if I should go over the fields for a change but then I thought no, I only did intervals the other day and I need to get the miles in and not the really really really slow miles I will do if I go over fields and so I set off down the road then down the cycle path then past the vets and to the traffic lights and there was a woman at the traffic lights with her little girl in a buggy and we were waiting for the lights to change and while we were waiting there was a big gap in the traffic, big enough for me to run across without the risk of getting squished but I didn’t want to set a bad example to the little girl as then her mum would have to explain that I was naughty crossing the road before waiting for the green man and then if I ever saw them again the little girl would point and say LOOK MUMMY, THERE’S THAT NAUGHTY WOMAN WHO CROSSED THE ROAD WITHOUT WAITING FOR THE GREEN MAN and everyone in the immediate vicinity would turn and look and point and give me the evils and I’d be forever known as the Girl Who Didn’t Wait For the Green Man and so I stand there thanking Garmin for the autopause feature and the lights change and we all cross, safe and sound with reputations and integrity intact, and I get to the narrow, lonely and deserted trail and there’s a man.

Without a dog.

And I think waa, there’s a man without a dog, where do you think you’re going? you’re not allowed down the narrow, lonely and deserted trail without a dog and then I think it’s quite sad that if women (and I know it’s not just me, I’ve seen this mentioned on other women’s blogs) see a man without a dog in a wooded/grassy area without a dog we think RAPIST but then if we see a man in a wooded/grassy area with a dog we think AW, NICE MAN WITH NICE DOGGY and it reminded me of a few weeks ago when just after the looters (I refuse to call them rioters. Rioters are protesting about something. This lot weren’t protesting about anything, they were just twats [violent, thuggish twats, but twats nonetheless]) and I was out for a run and I saw a couple of young lads on bikes and I looked at them with pure suspicion although we didn’t have any looting anywhere near us and then that reminded me of the London bombings when anyone with a rucksack was regarded very suspiciously and if you looked a bit foreign then a) you were probably a Muslim; and b) about to blow the whole of London up (and possibly a few unlucky home counties along with it).

I continue on my run without suspecting any more men of being rapists, young lads on bikes of being looters or people who look a bit foreign of being terrorists and get to the sheep field and there’s a load of acorns on the ground and I think of that saying about from little acorns, great oaks are grown (or something like that) and I think from run/walk beginner’s schedules, marathons are run and I think that’s pretty deep for me and I try to think of a simile or metaphor for acorns but I can only think of big, shiny, round bogies and I think oh, maybe I’m not so deep after all.

Distance: 4.01 miles
Time: 47:08
Pace: 11:45 m/m
Calories: 421
Titchy tiny little girly ears: 2
New headphones: 1
Little girls set a good example to: 1
Girls Who Didn’t Wait For The Green Man: 0
Men who probably aren’t rapists: 1
Young lads who probably aren’t looters: some
People who look a bit foreign who probably aren’t terrorists: a few
Deep meaningful similes to describe acorns: 0


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