Dreaming is free

I can’t remember why, but I asked Shaun to wake me up early this morning (he does this by putting the bedroom light on when he goes to work. I do have a fake sunrise but that only stays on for 10 minutes and I can quite easily ignore my alarm for much longer than 10 minutes) and when he woke me up, I apologised to him for having a dream where I went to meet another man. I didn’t even want to meet this man because he was boring and he had bought me a grey dress for my birthday that I didn’t like (he had also bought me a book but I don’t know what book it was as I didn’t bother taking it out of the plastic bag) but I had arranged to, so I went out to see him and he wanted to go to the pictures but I didn’t want to and so he said dinner or drinks then? and I said both but he said he couldn’t afford to do both and so I said ok, we’ll go for a quick drink and I didn’t have any make up on but I thought I’d only be out for an hour so it didn’t really matter and I wanted to go a certain way, away from any pubs Shaun might be in (yeah, because he’s always out on pub crawls…) and so I followed the boring man and we were walking and walking and then he led me into a deserted house and he kept me in a room for 364 days and then he put the TV on and there were people on the screen that he had filmed and he had put Sellotape on their toes and I thought oh no, he’s going to put Sellotape on my toes and I wondered what would happen the next day, as then I would have been kept hostage for a year, but I woke up.

Anyway, after I got up and tried not to feel guilty about going to meet another man in my dream, I started to look forward to going for a run in the dark. Although, then it occurred to me that I didn’t have a route that’s only on pavements and I didn’t want to run down deserted trails or country lanes in the dark and so I looked on Google Maps for a route (after misreading ‘zoomable maps’ as ‘zombie maps’) and found a 2.5ish mile route that was purely on the pavement but by the time I’d finished drinking my tea, the sun was coming up and so I thought, fine, I’ll go for a run while the sun is rising then, that’ll be cool and I hurried up and got out and the sky was a nice pinky colour and I wondered if I should go back and get my camera and take a photo of the sunrise but decided not to in case it got light and it would be a waste of putting on my new hi-vis vest that I won from Women’s Running Magazine and so I started running and there were a lot of people around going to school or going to work or going to wherever it was they were going and Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark came on my iPod which reminded me of a joke, and as some other bloggers have also been doing a jokeathon along with Janathon, I thought I’d share my joke with you:

Q: What do you call a man with a bird of prey on each shoulder who cleans his house with the lights off?

A: Hawk-kestrel-man-hoovers-in-the-dark

which is probably the best joke in the world (or to be more accurate, the only joke I know except for ‘A seal walks into a club’) and then I carry on running and I see a Kermit-green old-style Beetle and when I see Beetles it makes me want to learn to drive just so I can get one although I wouldn’t want a Kermit-green one but a yellow one or an orange one and then as it’s getting light I wonder if I should go through the titchy tiny park to see some grass and water but that would mean deviating from the route I’ve got in my head and I don’t like deviating from things but then I decide I WILL REBEL. I WILL DEVIATE and I go through the titchy tiny park and get home and it’s only just gone past 8am and I’m showered and hair washed and dressed by 9am and this is because I am skill.

Distance: 2.39 miles
Time: longer than it should take
Pace: slooooooooooooooooooooow
Calories: 251
Dreams about bad men who kidnap me and tape my toes up: 1
Sunrises: 1
Zombie maps: 1
Hi-vis jackets: 1
Jokes: 1
Deviations: 1
Minutes after 9am I’m still undressed: 0

Roxy Music
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
Ben Folds Five
Los Campesinos


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