Why I left my gym and why I’m a wimpface

It was only a few weeks ago I wrote about how much I love my gym. And now I’ve left it. I still love my gym but I only started going there for the classes and now I rarely go to the classes – I book them, but usually end up cancelling them. So I decided to downgrade my membership and go back to the gym just a few minutes’ walk away from the house which although isn’t as nice a gym, it suits my needs and there’s the added bonus of not having to cycle two miles down a dreary dual-carriageway to get to it. Today, however, I did cycle into town for my booked body pump class and I had planned to downgrade my membership after the class.

I checked in as usual and the girl on reception asked if I knew that there was a different instructor today and it would be vibe pump instead of body pump. I must have looked scared as then she said it’s ok, it’s exactly the same, it’s still weights, just more choreographed. CHOREOGRAPHED? MORE CHOREOGRAPHED? Isn’t choreographed like dancing and moving my arms and stuff?

fml.

At that point, I must have looked like I was going to cry, as she said oh no, it’s not more choreographed, it’s less choreographed, there’s just more reps. I said it’s ok, I’ll just cancel please and she said oh no, I’ve put you off now, haven’t I? and I said yes, but it’s ok, I just like sticking to what I know and she said it’s really not scary and I said there’s no aerobic type moving about waving arms dancing type stuff? and she said no and I said ok then and she you look like you’re going to do a runner and I said yeah, I might just stay hiding on the rowing machine and she said I’ll send the instructor out to get you and I think oh shit, I can’t downgrade my membership now as she’ll think it’s because I didn’t want to do the vibe class and I go into the changing room to get changed and I’ve got over an hour until the vibe class starts and I go on the rowing machine for twenty minutes and I can’t decide whether to go to the vibe class or  not and I don’t want to not go as I will look like the nervous, shy, timid, unconfident, unassertive, self-conscious wimpface I really am and if I go I’ll feel like YEAH, I AM FEARLESS, GO ME! and then I go on the cross-trainer for twenty minutes but after three minutes I’m bored and I don’t want to carry on and I don’t want to do the vibe class and if I go home now I can be back at 10:30 instead of 12 and I think yeah, that’s what I’ll do and I go to get changed and hope the girl on reception has gone for a tea break or something and doesn’t see me leave and oh fuck, she’s facing towards the door of the changing room and I think turn back, turn back, and she stands up and goes back to face the way she usually faces and I think thank fuck for that and I don’t know why I’m being such a wuss as it’s not like they can force me to stay there and I leave without saying bye and hope she didn’t see me leave and then I think I’ll have to email and see if I can downgrade my membership but then I have the stunning idea of popping into the gym near me and see if I can do it from there and so I go in there and they say yes, that’s fine, you can change your membership from here and so I’ve left my lovely big gym in town and have gone back to my little gym up the road.