I’ve got a favour to ask…

See this cow?


Cute, isn’t it?

It’s soooooooooooooo cute, I’ve entered it into a ‘Cute Cow’ competition and what I’d like/need/really really really really would love you to do for me is to vote for it so I win the competition and get given lots of money.

If I win, I’ll spend £100 of the prize money on a giveaway on my blog.

You can vote for my cow here: http://cowoftheyear.com/view_the_contstants/cathy-white-3/# (you can vote once every day).

Please vote for my cow!

Introducing the Sex Pest Test

You probably all think I’ve been slacking. Well, ha! I haven’t (much), so there. I’ve been following the Hal Higdon half-marathon schedule which I’ve imported into Outlook via Your Training Calendar – thanks to Warriorwoman for discovering this, it’s brilliant (you can also import other Hal Higdon schedules into other programs – Google Calendar, etc.)

Anyway, here’s how my training’s going so far.


The top row on each date is what I should have done, the row(s) beneath are what I did or didn’t do.

Also, along with diligently-ish following my training schedule, I have also been inventing new rates of perceived exertion. This came about when I was running one day and stopping before I’d even reached a mile and so gave myself a stern internal talking to and asked myself – on a scale of 1 to 10, how out of breath was I? and the answer was usually only about 4 or 5 and so I told myself I couldn’t stop until I was at least a 7 and after a while of carrying on running and carrying on stopping and carrying on with the 1 to 10 thing, I got bored and invented the Sex Pest Test instead. It goes something like this: the phone’s ringing and you go to answer it. What do you sound like?


Level 1: You’re in the shower and ignoring it.

Level 2: You’ve picked up the phone that was next to you on the sofa.

Level 3: Walked slowly down the stairs.

Level 4: Ran down the stairs.

Level 5: Ran for a bus.

Level 6: Just seen a massive spider and there’s no man/brave person about.

Level 7: As excited as a small girl who’s just been given something pink.

Level 8: A teenage boy about to have his first shag.

Level 9: Panting like a paedo outside a primary school at playtime.

Level 10: Aaarrrgghh, SEX PEST, CALL THE POLICE!

Do you think it’ll catch on?

Merry Sex Change

This will probably be my last post of 2009.  It’ll also be my last post where the thing above where it says ‘Rants and raves from a 30-something female runner’ will be true.

That’s right, I’m having a sex change.

So, tomorrow we’re off to Italy to celebrate my sex change and back on Christmas Eve.  I’m not planning on running on Christmas Day although I seem to remember Mr Iliketocount dragging me out last Christmas Day for three miles round the marshes but that was back in the old days when we were just dating and I was pretending to like him.  Now I don’t have to pretend anymore, I think I’ll stay in bed.

I might run between Christmas and New Year, but if not, I’d like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, whatever you’re doing or not doing.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Runners I met and liked

notebook I got sent a notebook from the nice people at Archie Grand.  They do hundreds of them, all called things like Capitalists I Met And Liked and Santa Clauses I Met And Liked and they sent me one called Runners I Met and Liked and now I don’t know what to do with it.  Do I make a list of runners I’ve met and liked?  Or do I take it to races with me and if I talk to anyone there and like them, get them to sign my book?  And how about if I do another Santa race?  Do I have to get the Santa Clause notebook and merge it with the runners one and call it Runners Dressed As Santa Clauses I’ve Met And Liked?

Life is so confusing sometimes.

Flora London Marathon 2009

I didn’t run the Flora London Marathon this year (or any other year for that matter), I entered the ballot for the first time ever but I was a reject.  Although that was possibly for the best, as my training for the Kent Coastal Marathon last year only consisted of a week’s training, which was promptly ditched when I found out that a) the first half of the course was hilly; and b) I couldn’t wear my iPod.

So congratulations to Adele and all the other nutters runners who ran yesterday and who were probably a bit surprised to find out that it was a gorgeous sunny day with nothing but blue skies and no sign of the grey cloud and heavy showers that the wonderfully inept BBC weather website had predicted only the day before.

And with that in mind, if I ever get onto the Virgin London Marathon website and manage to enter the ballot for next year (which is looking unlikely as apparently due to unprecedented demand [i.e. they forgot that it gets oversubscribed by about 120,000 people each year, duh] the website is down), with the weather forecast being so unreliable, I’m going to have more sartorial dilemma’s than Leighsa when she went to the physio.  What running gear do I wear?  Shorts and sun visor?  Tracksuit bottoms, reject’s fleece and golf umbrella?  Maybe I’ll just stick to being a pantomime horse.

Cold Tofurkey

I decided I was spending too much time on Facebook, so took the drastic decision to deactivate my account, just for a little while you understand, not forever, just in a I-like-to-piss-myself-off-now-and-again-by-abstaining-from-the-things-I-enjoy-the-most kind of way and so at around 10pm last night, I deactivated my account and this morning I woke up really early and thought what shall I do?  I know, I can spend lots of time on Facebook before I go to work, hurrah, and then remembered that bah, no, I can’t, I deactivated my account, maybe I’ll go for a run instead and then I thought na, it’s too cold, maybe I’ll get up and read or do some writing but then I fell back asleep and woke up with only the time to do the usual morning stuff minus the stalking-people-on-Facebook things and when I got to work I was missing Facebook so much, I decided to make my own paper-based Facebook and wrote down what I would have updated my Facebook status with.  Here are the results:

(Imagine each one preceded by “Cathy is” [anyone even THINKING the word “sad” at this point is going to be in big trouble].)

  1. missing Facebook (at 09:30)
  2. the owner of the Roots 30th Anniversary Edition DVD box set (09:47)
  3. eating an apple: (10:36)
  4. writing down the things she would have posted on Facebook (10:47)
  5. cancelling her mobile internet subscription (11:02)
  6. missing Facebook (11:20)
  7. wondering what everyone’s doing on Facebook (11:21)
  8. wondering if ginger people should wear tight green jeans (11:25)
  9. wondering if Sainsburys are going to give her a free box of chocolates again this year (11:37)
  10. wondering if she will be able to resist the urge to re-activate her Facebook account tonight (12:36)
  11. wondering if Shaun’s on drugs (14:00)
  12. going to resist eating any more chocolate brownies (14:27)
  13. wondering if going Facebook cold turkey for a week involves not logging on tonight to let everyone know she’s going cold turkey for a week (14:54)
  14. going to ignore the fact there’s food in the boardroom (14:54)
  15. ignoring the cream cakes (14:56)
  16. wondering how she got chosen as a guru (15:30)
  17. wondering what to give up for a month next (15:40)
  18. wondering whether to meet Gary in a bar instead of outside the cheese shop (16:00)
  19. happy that she at least has webmail even if she has no Facebook (16:19)
  20. going to meet Gary outside the cheese shop (16:59)
  21. looking at the www.pizzamaniac.com website (17:00)
  22. wondering why people put make up on to go home (17:10)
  23. wondering why, if Stella is so reassuringly expensive, is Tescos selling 8 cans for £4?

Now that I’ve written this, I’m wondering how “eating a banana” got left off somewhere between ignoring the cream cakes and being a guru.  Surely that was an important part of the day?

Online Facebooks: 0
Paper-based Facebooks: 1
Bananas forgotten about inbetween ignoring cream cakes and being a guru: 1

I got tagged

Waa, that evil Warriorwoman tagged me and now I’ve got to answer some questions and try not to sound too boring. And as it seems to have gone round only females recently, I’m going to keep up the tradition and tag londonjogger and karma. Sorry you two.

Jobs I’ve Held: Evening free newspaper round (which more often than not ended up either dumped in the river or being set on fire in the forest); Saturday hairdresser’s dogsbody (£6 for sweeping up old lady’s hair for 8 hours? Eek); stable girl; fish and chip shop assistant; VDU operator; temp; project controller; temp; office manager; pa/office manager; audio secretary; temp; legal secretary; temp; remote editor; freelance web designer; legal secretary; legal secretary

Movies I Can Watch Over & Over: I used to watch McVicar and Rumblefish over and over again. Not sure why. And the bit in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life where the leaves kill themselves. I don’t really watch films although I’ve watched American Psycho a few times.

My Guilty Pleasures: I don’t believe in guilt. Only pleasure.

Places I have lived (in order): Redbridge, Walthamstow, Liverpool, Redbridge, Leytonstone, Redbridge, Leytonstone, Leyton, Leytonstone, Leytonstone, Leytonstone, Leyton, Walthamstow, Walthamstow

Shows I enjoy: Lost

Places I Have Been on Holiday: Ibiza, Ireland, Brussels (twice), Amsterdam (five times), Barbados, Tenerife, Gozo, Bologna, Frankfurt

Favorite Foods: Pizza, Italian, pizza, Chinese, pizza, Thai, pizza, hmm, anything really except avocado and fruit in my dinner. Bleurgh.

Websites I Visit Daily: Facebook, Runnersworld, LloydsTSB, This Is London, blogs

Body Parts I Have Injured: Had my nose broken about four times by a particularly psychopathic boyfriend many years ago. He broke my finger too. Git.

Awards I’ve Won: Do gymnastics and swimming certificates from junior school count? And piano exams? I can’t really brag about my Race for Life medal.  Oh, I did win a trophy made out of tin foil when I was a 5 year old Essex chess champion.

Nicknames You’ve Been Called: Shiny, jogblog

1 2