Juneathon Day 12 – Cycled To The Station And Back


My bike having a bit of a lie down after I’d left it outside the station for four days

I’m more of a morning exerciser than an afternoon or evening one but this morning I had a meeting in Maidstone so when I got back, I posted on the Juneathon Facebook Page that I’d cycled to the station and back and asked if that counted or if I had to do more. No one accused me of slacking so it looks like my Juneathon is done for the day.


I’m out in London all day tomorrow so it’s likely tomorrow’s activity will be a bar press up. It counts. If you don’t believe me, refer to point no. 3 in my 5 Ways To Make The Most Of Juneathon post from the other day.


Cycling: 4.8 miles
Juneathon’s completed: 10/30


5 Ways To Make The Most Of Juneathon


Juneathon: A yearly festival of activity and excuses

We’re a third of the way through Juneathon and I hope you’re all enjoying it so far but I thought I’d write a quick list of a few ways to help you make the most of the month.

1. Interact with others
On Twitter

What makes Juneathon so amazing is the community spirit. We’re all here for each other to support, encourage and to gently (or not so gently) nag when motivation is lagging. Make sure you’re following the #juneathon hashtag (and using it yourself when you Tweet your activities) on Twitter and follow other participants – it’s a great way to gain new followers and make new friends. If you’re tweeting that you can’t be arsed to exercise that day, tag me (@juneathon); I’ll RT it and it won’t be long until someone comes along to ‘encourage’ you.

On Facebook

Same goes for Facebook. Join the Juneathon Facebook Group, share your links and ‘like’ others’ posts.

On blogs

Browse the Juneathon participants page on the website and pick a few new blogs each day to visit and comment on – most of the time, they’ll return the favour and you’ll get more visitors to your blog.

2. Don’t get despondent

Far too many times I’ve seen participants get demotivated and give up because they missed a day. DON’T GIVE UP. It’s not possible to fail Juneathon. See the next point.

3. Be creative 

The day’s activity doesn’t have to involve running a marathon or going on a 100 mile bike ride. If you’re too busy/can’t be bothered/in the pub then be creative. Chris at What I Meant To Say pulled a masterstroke in creativity the other day when he used the walkway at Madrid airport the wrong way as a treadmill.

*Slightly* less genius and more in the way of ‘I am a slacker but here is my activity for the day and I’m counting it so there’, was David Lewis who, last year, counted ‘pushed a trolley round Tesco’ as his exercise. If you really are spending more time in the pub than the gym, there’s always the good old ‘bar press-up’ to fall back on.

Juneathon bar press up

A bar press up is a perfectly valid Juneathon activity

And of course, not forgetting the classic ‘Dressing Gown Dash’.

Juneathon Dressing Gown Dash

Travelling Hopefully (accompanied by me) shows how to do a Dressing Gown Dash

4. Set a goal

A challenge within a challenge, if you like. You might want to challenge yourself to run every day (Andrew Fletcher challenged himself to do this in Juneathon 2011 and has run every day since), or you might be new to running and your challenge could be to run a mile without stopping by the end of the month. It’s *your* Juneathon and therefore *your* personal goals. And please don’t be put off by nutters like Kevin Foreman who ran 455 miles during Janathon 2012 or Stephen Cooper who cycled 650 miles in Juneathon 2013; it doesn’t matter whether you run 1 mile or 100, it’s all good – Juneathon is for the ultra-hardcore and us mere mortals. And the mere mortals way outnumber the nutters anyway, so there.

5. Mix it up

Bored with your exercise routine? Try something different. Go on a walk with a local group (try looking on Meetup for your local one), do a fitness DVD (or if you haven’t got any fitness DVDs, have a look at www.fitnessblender.com – there are dozens of free, full-length workouts on there), or try a new gym class (you won’t ever catch me trying Zumba though. Dancing? In public? Sober? Ha ha ha ha ha. No.)

6. Enjoy it! 

I know I said there were 5 points – this one’s a bonus. Juneathon is supposed to be enjoyable. If you’re not enjoying it, you’re doing it wrong.

Let me know if you’re doing anything different this Juneathon or if you’ve got anything to add to the above.

Stats for Day 10 

Rowing machine: 20 minutes
Treadmill: 20 minutes
Cross-trainer: 20 minutes


Janathon Day 22 – sitting is apparently the new rowing

I almost turned into one of those silly obsessives this morning. After drinking a bottle and a half of wine last night, one of my first thoughts this morning was GOTTA BURN ALL THOSE CALORIES OFF but we all know it’s thoughts like that that lead to eating disorders and so instead I thought GOTTA DO MY JANATHON and dragged myself off to the gym after I’d finished offending a friend on Facebook (I don’t know why she was offended, I only said she looked like a prostitute).


I was happily rowing on the rowing machine when a man sat down on the one next to me. And continued to sit. And sit. And sit and sit and sit and I thought JUST ROW ON THE MACHINE, DAMMIT but he continued to sit and this annoyed me so much I got up and flounced over to the cross-trainer and he continued to sit for another two and a half minutes then started to row, yay, but only for four minutes, then he stopped and sat again.

Another thing that annoyed me in the gym today was people talking. People should not be allowed to talk in gyms unless it’s ‘ouch’, ‘help’, or ‘call an ambulance’.

Janathon Day 10 – I remember when…

…I didn’t leave assignments until the last minute. Oh, hang on, no – that must be someone else I’m thinking of. I’ve got an assignment due at midnight and at the moment I’ve only written down a few notes and made a couple of sketches (I’m designing two adverts – one for readers of The Telegraph and one for readers of The Sun, then talking about why I’ve used certain words and images in them), so if anyone sees me on Facebook or Twitter between now and then, unless I’ve said ASSIGNMENT SUBMITTED, YAY, please send Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey a message telling them to disconnect me from their social networks.


In the meantime, here’s what I’ve done for Janathon so far today.


This weekend’s activities will hopefully be a parkrun tomorrow and a 38 mile bike ride on Sunday. Although, this depends on a) whether I get up on time; and b) how far I get with my dissertation proposal that’s due in by midnight on Monday.

Janathon Day 5 – strangers, pub, cats and dogs

I am too knackered to blog properly, so here’s my blog post in a list.

1. Saw tweet a couple of weeks ago about local bike ride, organised by Spokes.

2. Thought, I want to go on the bike ride and favourited the tweet to remind me.

3. Woke up and the weather wasn’t minging, so went off to meet a bunch of strangers.

4. Met the bunch of strangers who turned out to be a very nice bunch of people indeed.

5. Discovered I wasn’t the only one there who should have been at home writing a dissertation proposal instead of gallivanting around the countryside.

6. Cycled for about an hour until reached a pub in Smarden.

7. Spent a long time patting the dogs and stroking the cats in the pub.

8. Ordered cheese omelette and jacket wedges, then moaned my jacket wedges were chips, not wedges, and the chips were raw.

9. One of the group was perturbed her lunch didn’t come with the advertised bread.

10. One of the group said his jacket potato tasted old.

11. When we were asked how our food was, we all said ‘lovely, thanks’ in that good old British way even though we’d all just moaned about it.

12. Cycled for about another hour and went home and had two cups of hot chocolate to try and thaw out.

13. Went on Twitter and accidentally agreed to run Ashford parkrun with @TrevB1 in our onesies if he gets his workplace’s VLM place on Monday.

14. Spent four hours on Facebook trying to muster up the energy to blog. Remained unmustered.

15. Ate pie and mash and cabbage and gravy and wondered if I could be bothered to blog.

16. Realised I couldn’t be bothered to blog so wrote a list instead.


Dear Bupa Great South Run…

Dear Bupa Great South Run

Thank you for the race pack containing a lovely blue technical t-shirt, my race number, a VIP wristband and, um, a rain poncho.

Today I ran for six miles and, while I’m no mathematician, I believe 10-6 = 4 and so, on Sunday, if you can set my start line up at the six mile mark, I’ll do the remaining 4 miles from there. Ta.

Also, I see on your Bupa Running Facebook Page you’re having a Q&A between 1-3pm next Friday (26 Oct) with a Bupa sports physio for any runners taking part in the Great South Run to ask any questions about niggles before race day or any final preparation they need, which is all well and good, but will they be addressing the more important issues such as whether there’s a bar in the VIP area?

Yours sincerely



(Sort of) still training for the Bupa Great South Run 2012




Yeah, that’s how I felt when I looked at the calendar this morning. I could have sworn it was nearer six weeks away. Bugger. Oh well, I have been slightly reassured that I won’t be walking the entire ten miles (despite lately having a bit of a dodgy knee) as on Saturday I had a good training run of 10k when I actually ran 11-something minute miles for a change and didn’t have any walking bits. So, I probably won’t win, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be last either. Yay for me.

Today’s five mile run wasn’t the greatest run in the world but it would have been a flipping lot better if I hadn’t got a blister at two miles. Anyway, I limped through my five miles and still managed an average of 11-something minute miles (I’m keeping the –something bit secret, ok?) then I went to the dentist which was less fun than having a blister.

As you’ve probably noticed, the Great South Run is sponsored by Bupa and you should really go and ‘like’ the Bupa Running Facebook page and follow them on Twitter where you’ll find regular advice on how best to approach race day, a great running community and regular Q&As with sports medicine experts to assist runners with any injuries.

Maybe they can help me with my blister.

Distance: 4.75 miles
Time: quite a long time
Pace: 11-something m/m
Weeks until GSR: 2 on Sunday
Blisters: 1
Facebook pages you should go and ‘like’: 1
Twitter accounts you should follow: 1

That’s the boobs sorted, all I need now is a belly bra

As I don’t have one of those proper day job things that involve sitting in an office all day, I don’t get that Friday Feeling but I still feel the need to celebrate public holidays by drinking and eating too much and wasting time on Facebook and Twitter, but wasting time on Twitter can pay off. My last three web design clients have come from there (a charity in Devon and two authors) and the other day, I tweeted about my new sports bras that had come in the post (yes, my tweets are that exciting) that no, weren’t freebies but yes, I had paid for them.

Shortly after tweeting this mega-exciting update on my life, Boobydoo tweeted me and said oh, you should have got in touch with us, we’d have sent you something, and so I said I could always do with new sports bras and so they sent me a Shock Absorber Run Bra.

It looks highly technical with all its straps and clasps. My favourite sports bras have been the crop top type that you pull over your head and then struggle to get off after you’ve sweated all over it. This one has kind of polystyreney feeling adjustable straps going down the back (don’t let that put you off, I’m not sure ‘polystyrene’ is the right word but I can’t think what I mean; maybe more neopreney than polystyreney). They’re different to the usual bra straps where you have to lengthen the strap by tugging at it and adjusting it as these have little hooks that you pull out of a little sleeve and put in another sleeve, either higher or lower.


There’s also a clasp at the top and the usual hook and eye clasps at the bottom. As I’m lazy and used to my crop tops, I try to pull it on as a crop top and don’t undo the bottom clasps, but it gets stuck around my shoulders so I pull it off and undo the clasps and try to do it up like a normal person. It takes a while to do up as I’m not very good at doing up bras but I get there eventually and this must be the comfiest bra in the world ever. Being the most comfiest bra ever isn’t the most major factor in sports bra factors though: boobage movage is, so I tested this by jumping up and down. Nothing moved. Result. Another good thing about it is that it’s not padded like the Shock Absorber bra I got at the traumatic Mateivator workout that has removable pads that which, because they’re removable, get all twisted and folded up in their pockets when they’re being washed and then you have to faff about taking them out and untwisting them and putting them back in. So, comfort, support and lack of faff, splendid.

I put on the rest of my gear and decide to wear my Haile Gebrselassie world record breaking shoes and set off down the street.

My world record breaking shoes are really light and I feel like I’m gliding along (I’m well aware that any witnesses would probably not have used the word ‘gliding’ if asked to describe my running style) and my boobs are staying in place which is more than I can say for my belly which is wobbling about and I wonder why no one’s invented a belly bra and if any inventors are reading my blog, can you invent one please?

I decide just to do two miles and to do it without stopping but I get to two miles and I’m feeling good and so I decide to do three miles and whoop whoop, I do three miles at under 11 minute miles which must be some kind of miracle or maybe it was the new bra, which is by far the best sports bra I’ve ever worn (I’m never going back to cheap ones again) or maybe it was the Trion:Z bracelet or maybe it was the world record breaking shoes or maybe it was my athlete’s dinner last night of two slices of garlic bread and half a flapjack or maybe it was all the spin and body pump classes I’ve been going to?

And speaking of spin and body pump classes, I’ll be doing those at the gym tomorrow morning, where I’m going, not to avoid the Royal Wedding, but to avoid Twitter where my fellow human beings will dishearten me by directing a load of scorn, contempt, hatred and abuse at a young couple purely for having the nerve to get married. I mean, they’re hardly Jordan and Alex Reid, are they? Just because Prince William’s mum was a media-hungry attention-seeking strumpet, doesn’t mean he and his bride-to-be are. Good luck to them, I say.

Distance: 3.02 miles
Time: 32:48
Pace: 10:53
Calories: 317
Friday Feelings: 0
Boobage movage: 0
Belly movage: lots
Fantastic new sports bras: 1
Nasty mean people on twitter to be avoided tomorrow: hundreds
The Wombats
The Jam
The Killers

Bunny in a Bag

I was going to do four miles today but didn’t fancy doing the same route I did on Saturday as I get scared going down the deserted trail in case all those people-who-like-murdering-people-on-deserted-trails you hear about all the time are there, or at least one of them, and so I decide to go through the fields, even if the pathway’s not there anymore because of bastard farmer scum and I’m running down the road and there’s a plastic bag in the road with flies buzzing around it and I wonder what’s in the bag and as I get up to the bag I see two little fluffy feet sticking out of it and I think OH NO, THERE’S A BUNNY IN A BAG and I wonder how the bunny got in the bag and I feel sick and I don’t want to leave the bunny in the bag but I equally don’t want touch the bunny in a bag and so I leave the bunny in the bag where it is, squished and dead in the road with flies buzzing around it and I go through the first field which is all grass and I hate running on grass so I walk most of it and then I go through the next field which is all mud and I hate running on mud so I walk most of it and then I think well, at least it’s good training for Grim but it’s not wet mud and I think maybe I should spit on it or something but I retain my ladylike sophistication and decide not to spit and because the field’s all ploughed and stuff there’s no pathway and it’s hard to find the next stile and I think considering it’s an official route and it’s the Greensand Way and everything, why don’t they concrete the whole 108 miles or whatever it is to make it easier for people to follow the path? and I get back to the road and I decide to take the road back home and then I decide to add a bit on to my route and go through Stanhope, although everyone in Kent seems to be scared of Stanhope but this is because everyone in Kent is a wuss and hasn’t been to Hackney and Stanhope looks posh compared to Hackney and then I see a sort of high-rise, well, it has four or five storeys anyway, which is the highest rise I’ve seen since leaving London and I wonder if that’s why people are scared of Stanhope and they think all bad people live in high rises and I think they’ve probably just been watching too many gritty police dramas from the 70s or something as all the baddies usually live in high rises in them and I get through Stanhope without seeing Dennis Waterman or Lewis Collins and I decide to take the scenic route home but I forget that this will make me go past the bunny in a bag again and then I see the bunny in the bag and I wonder again how the bunny got in the bag and was it someone’s pet bunny that got attacked by a fox and they put it in a bag and threw it in the road? or maybe it was roadkill and someone stopped and put it in a bag to preserve its bunny dignity and I think I’m going to start a Facebook group called SAY NO TO BUNNIES IN BAGS and then I’m at the end of the road and there’s a Tesco van outside someone’s house and I think you lazy bastards, there’s the biggest Tesco I’ve ever seen just five minutes’ walk up the road but maybe they haven’t got a car and they’re stocking up for Christmas or something.


Distance: 4.75 miles
Time: Ages
Pace: Slow
Bunnies in bags: 1
Sort of high-rises: 1
Actors from gritty police dramas from the 70s: 0
Tesco vans: 1