The JogBlog guide to not looking like a New Year Newbie

It’s that time of year every seasoned gym-goer dreads. The time of year when there are two questions whizzing round their heads:

1. Will the newbies be hogging all the machines; and

2. Will everyone think I’m a newbie too?

This morning, I had planned to go to the gym and these were the questions I had in my head so, upon opening my kit drawer, I pulled out an old pair of running tights and grabbed a t-shirt but eek, the t-shirt was a salmony-pink colour and nothing screams NEWBIE as much as pink does.

Then there was the shoe dilemma. I have two pairs of running shoes that I haven’t even tried on yet, let alone wear, but – like pink – new shoes are a no no if you don’t want to be mistaken for a newbie so I put on the purple pair I’ve recently been wearing to the gym and they even had a bit of mud on them. Result.

And yes, I know we all had to start somewhere, so I’m not really mocking (although a bit of ‘spot the newbie’ fun in the gym does help to pass the time), especially as my newbie runner kit seven years ago consisted of thick baggy tracksuit bottoms, a cotton t-shirt, a heavy hooded fleece, two normal bras worn at the same time and a pair of trainers that cost me £10 from Shoe Zone.

I needn’t have worried though, there were no newbies in the gym, just the three ‘older’ people who are usually there in the morning and I did my usual rowing machine/cross-trainer/treadmill combo without having to wait for newbies to stop hogging the machines.

Pairs of old running tights: 1
Salmony-pink t-shirts: 1
Pairs of purple trainers with a bit of mud on them: 1
Newbies in the gym: 0
Rowing machine: 20 minutes
Cross-trainer: 20 minutes
Treadmill: 20 minutes
Courtney Love – Sunset Strip
Duran Duran – Electric Barberella
David Holmes – I Heard Wonders
The Black Keys – Lonely Boy
Soft Cell – Sex Dwarf
Calvin Harris – Feel So Close
Ghostpoet – I Just Don’t Know
Knifeworld – In A Foreign Way
U2 – Vertigo
Eugene McGuinness – Shotgun
The Polyphonic Spree – Running Away
The Secret Machines – Lightning Blue Eyes