Trees, fields, life’s serene

Hal said I had to do three miles today but I couldn’t decide whether to do three miles through the fields or on the road so I decided the only plan of action for someone as indecisive as me was to do both.

I changed all the songs on my iPod and told myself that I wouldn’t keep stopping to skip songs (the only bad thing about my new Shuffle is that it’s touch screen and goes to sleep, so if I want to skip a song, I have to unclip it from my waistband and wake it up then tap it a few times to fast forward, unlike my old Shuffle that I could skip forward without looking at it) no matter what song came on (obviously I have impeccable taste in tuneage and therefore my iPod is full of quality tracks but some songs aren’t very easy to run to) and the first song I chose to come on was Watching Birds by Stornoway and as that finished another song came on which was a bit too folky for my liking and I wanted to skip it but remembered my rule but after a while I couldn’t resist at least looking to see who it was by and so I stopped to look and it was also by Stornoway (which just goes to show that you shouldn’t buy (or illegally download) an album on the strength of a single) but I didn’t skip it and carried on going then another song came on which I thought was also Stornoway and I thought surely my no skipping rule doesn’t count if the same band comes on three times in a row? and so I stopped and I went to skip it but it’s wasn’t Stornoway, it was Pernice Brothers and I haven’t a clue who they are or how they ended up on my iPod but because it wasn’t Stornoway I left it on and then what I thought was Jesus and Mary Chain came on but then I realised it was Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and I never realised before how similar they are and then I got to the end of the fields and I decided to run up the hill to the woody bit and I thought to myself if I run up the hill without stopping I would give myself an imaginary medal when I got to the top and I ran up the hill and my lungs felt like they were bursting but I made it to the top and to prove I earned my imaginary medal here’s an image of the elevation


and then I saw that someone had cut into the field what looked like The Running Bug logo and I must be being stalked by The Running Bug as I got a kohlrabi in my vegetable box a couple of weeks ago that was the dead spit of the logo



and then I went through the woody bit and the sun was streaming through the trees and there were birds and squirrels and I wondered if I was going to turn into a black beardy man and a bluebird would land on my shoulder

but I resisted breaking into song and belting out Zip a dee doo dah and I got to the end of the woody bit and I ran down the hill to the road and then The Veronicas came on my iPod but I only like one of their songs (see above re don’t buy an album on the strength of a single) and I didn’t really want them whinging in my ears for the next three minutes but I stuck to my rule and I had to endure such inane couplets as

I don’t know where I parked my car
I don’t know who my friends are


I put my faith in you
What a stupid thing to do

and I wondered why people don’t write meaningful lyrics anymore, such as

Thunderbolts and lightning
Very very frightening


and then I was heading back towards the house and I could see the houses in the distance and I wondered if I should go over the specified three miles and I thought yes, I will, as I am hardcore but as soon as I looked at my Garmin and it said I’d done three miles, my legs went heavy and slowed down and so I stopped my Garmin but then I felt like such a slacker as it was probably less than a quarter of a mile until I got back and so I switched my Garmin on again and I got home and there was an email offering me a media place for the Royal Parks Half Marathon. WHOOP WHOOP.

Distance: 3.21 miles
Time: 37:27
Pace: 11:40 m/m
Calories: 337
No skipping through tracks rules: 1
Bands on iPod never heard of: 1
Hills: 1
Imaginary medals: 1
Zip a dee doo dahs: 1
Meaningful lyrics: 0
Places in Royal Parks Half: 1
Whoop whoops: 1
Pernice Brothers