Cross country running

I discovered last week that there’s a forest not a million miles away from my house. In fact, nowhere near a million miles and just two little stops on the overground. So today I decided I would go and explore the forest so I scanned the relevant part of the London A-Z and print it off for use in the event of me getting lost; get my personal alarm for use in the event of flashers/rapists/muggers/polar bears being in the forest; my mobile phone for use in the event of having to call for help; some money for use in the event of an inspector getting on the train as my travelcard doesn’t go as far as Wood Street; and my ever faithful self-fixing camera for use of taking pictures of the forest.

I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in a forest. Cool. Actually, it was a bit more than 15 minutes due to me going the wrong way when I got off the train. But look, here’s a forest.

I don’t think I’ve been in a forest since I was a teenager and used to hang out with the wrong crowd and smoke cigarettes that we bought singly in the shop for 7p each.

It was quiet over the forest, I was a bit worried before I set off that there might be gangs of kids hanging about as Wood Street isn’t exactly known for being a nice part of town and I was trying to forget that someone got murdered at the station a couple of years ago but I couldn’t remember any instances of people getting murdered over the forest but then again I didn’t even know that there was a forest there so what do I know?

Maybe it was too early for people to be out or maybe everyone was inside eating Easter Eggs but I think I only saw 5 people the whole time I was over there.

And I run around the forest for a bit hoping I’m not going too far in the wrong direction and I see the bridge that I’d been over earlier and go back over it and head back in what I think is the right direction to get back to the train station and I come to a road and I think shall I run home? And I think yes, why not, it’s a nice day, so I consult my map to see where I am and I’m right near Lea Bridge Road and I think Lea Bridge Road is v. handy as it’s always lurking around somewhere and as long as I go down it in the right direction I can’t get lost and then I come to this pizza restaurant which is blatantly lying.

And I know it’s lying because although I haven’t been in this particular restaurant it can’t possibly make the best pizzas in London because that accolade goes to Mondragone in the village but then I’m thinking but what if they are the best pizzas in London and all this time I’ve been missing out? Eek. I’m going to have to investigate.

I run further down the street and make a detour to go past my old flat and restrain myself from knocking on the door and punching out the people who bought my flat and then stole my identity although they were probably pissed off with me for not warning them about the psycho neighbour from hell upstairs but I was trying to sell my flat and telling prospective buyers that upstairs lives a psycho neighbour from hell probably isn’t the best selling technique in the world.

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 5.03
Total time: 56:46
Average pace: 11:17 minute/mile
Total calories: 446
Forests: 1
Restaurants claiming to make the best pizzas in London: 1
Ex psycho neighbours from hell: 1
Music:
Soft Cell – Down In The Subway
Citizen Fish – Out Of Control
Kaiser Chiefs – Love Is Not A Competition (But I’m Winning)
Velvet Underground – Coney Island Baby
Eminem – Cleaning Out My Closet
Adam And The Ants – 5 Guns West
Sultans Of Ping – Telephone Lover
Black Wire – Hung Up
Blur – B.L.U.R.E.M.I.
The Horrors – Dragger’s Rant
Ian Brown – Ice Cold Cube
Radical Dance Faction – Firepower
Toyah – Street Creature
Muse – Cave
Cardiacs – It’s A Lovely Day