Tag: Faith No More

July, the month of no crisps

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Juneathon always spurs me on to take up another challenge during July and last year I became vegan for a month and so this year I wondered how well being vegan would go down now I don’t live on my own anymore and do most of the cooking and I didn’t have to wonder for very long as I know exactly how well it would go down and it would go down like the proverbial and so I’ve decided to give up crisps for a month and even though there are two multipacks of Walkers and two big bags of Phileas Fogg crisps under the stairs, I will resist.

And even though this morning I was slightly hungover after going to the pub last night to discuss the important business of the Juneathon winner (and yes, I know I promised to announce the winner today and I will later, so it’s at the top of the page and will stay at the top until I run/blog again), I put on my serious athlete head that I thought I’d left in London and look at my half marathon schedule and adapt it so it covers more weeks and ups the mileage to 12 miles instead of 10 miles and today I’m down for three miles and strength exercises that I also got from the Hal Higdon website and so after rehydrating myself with a cow mug full of fruit tea and a pint of lemon and lime flavoured water I get changed, put some sun lotion on and head off into the sunshine.

After 1.14 miles, Sleeper come on and Louise Wener starts telling me not to call her unless I’m dying in a traffic accident and I think I can’t call her at all, traffic accident or otherwise, as the only thing I’m carrying is the back door key and if I am in a traffic accident, the police will have to try the key in all the houses in the local area until they find the right one or maybe they’ll look at my Garmin and check out the houses in a 1.14 mile radius or maybe they know how to use a Garmin properly and use it to navigate back to the house or maybe they’ll go back to the station and download SportsTracks and look on Google Earth and find my house and let themselves in and find my mobile phone and find Shaun’s number so they can tell him I was in a traffic accident but I’ll probably be dead after all that faffing around so I decide I should try not to die in a traffic accident and a car goes past to test the not dying in a traffic accident theory and I don’t die and I don’t wobble or shake or hold on to a tree or anything and I carry on until I get to 1.5 miles and turn around and at 2 miles I stop and I think noooooooooooooo, don’t stop and I skip through my iPod to try and find some inspiring music and I skip past Faith No More and Rollins Band (sorry rock people) and the Levellers come on and I think I wonder what the Levellers would do? and I decide that they would probably stop running and go and sit in the nearest field and drink cider and smoke dope and I decide that’s probably not very good half marathon training and so I carry on with a bit of run/walk for the last mile and I look at my Garmin and I’ve only got .8 of a mile left to do and I think how hard can it be? and I try to run but I’m feeling a bit tired and heavy and sick with lemon and lime flavoured water sloshing around in me and it took me ages to decide between summer fruits flavour and lemon and lime flavour and now it’s making me feel sick and I blame Shaun for introducing me to flavoured water, as good old fashioned plain tap water used to do me just fine and I get home and there’s a million bugs stuck to my sun-lotioned arms and face.

Stats (running)
Distance: 3.02 miles
Time: 35:35
Pace: 11:48 m/m
Calories: 264
Crisps given up for July: all of them
Traffic accidents: 0
Lemon and lime flavoured pints of water: 1
Cow mug full cups of fruit tea: 1
Bugs stuck to me: a million
Music:
Sleeper
Levellers
Hard-Fi

Stats (weights)
Bench press: 2 x 12
Rowing: 2 x 12
Overhead pull: 2 x 12
Curls: 2 x 12
Crunches: 3 x 15
Lunges: not many as knee started making cracking noises

Stats (rowing)
Distance: 0.6 miles
Time: 14 minutes
Count: 542
Calories: 32.2

 

 

Powered by sun-dried tomato and jalapeno bread

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This morning’s aroma (apart from the cat litter tray) was sun-dried tomato and jalapeno bread and I start to eat it while I’m emptying the dishwasher and making tea and I think stop eating bread, I don’t usually eat before a run and I decide to call it fuelling instead of gluttony and it looks bright and sunny today and I wonder how far I should run and I decide to attempt six miles and think ha ha ha ha ha, yeah, right, I don’t think I’ve run more than four miles in the whole of my “training” and the Reading Half‘s in five weeks and once again I think oops and I go to put my Garmin outside and it says it’s only got 11 hours charge on it and it usually has 13 and I think will I be out running for more than 11 hours? and I think probably not and I tell the cat to go inside and she goes inside and hisses at me and I think why are you hissing at me? you usually save that kind of behaviour for Shaun and Faith No More start singing From Out of Nowhere and I think oh no, I don’t like to leave a song unfinished, but if I wait until the song’s finished, my Garmin will lose its signal and so I cut Faith No More off in their prime and go outside and I get to the marina and there’s a sign that says footpath closed and I wonder if the sign’s lying and it’s really closed and I think anyway, I don’t want the footpath, I want the footbridge and I go up to the bridge and it is shut and I think they need to change their sign and I turn round and go back and then there’s a sign that says footbridge closed and I think that’s a stupid place to put it, after people have already been up to the bridge and found it closed and so I go the other way and a man runs past me with a small dog and he says hello and I get overtaken on the bridge before the Sex Change Pub but I don’t mind being overtaken, after all I’m used to it and then there’s a dog with three legs rolling around and looking very happy  and there’s a man coming down the path with a hoody and gloves and I think HOW SCARY DO YOU LOOK? and on the corner is a man standing by a tree and I wonder why he’s standing by a tree and I decide he’s just waiting for people to play football with and in the car park is a group of people and I wonder why they’re hanging around in the car park and I decide they are also just waiting for people to play football with and I turn right instead of left this time as last time I turned left it was the wrong way and I got lost in the forest like The Cure although I’m not sure if they were singing about Hackney Marshes and then a cyclist starts to slow down and I think please don’t stop and he stops and I think eek but then I see he’s just waiting for his dog and I think phew and two old men walk past me and they say hello and I wonder why I’m not scared of old men or cyclists or runners or people walking dogs  or people walking with other people but if I see any men under the age of 50 on their own over the marshes I have a heart attack and I go past the stables and it smells and it reminds me I’ve got to empty the litter tray and then I get home and somehow I’ve managed to do nearly 6.5 miles.  Yay for me.

 

Splits
 Splits 21 February 2009

 

Stats:
Distance: 6.47 miles
Time: 1:11:26
Pace: 11:03 m/m
Calories: 555
Loaves of sun-dried tomato and jalapeno bread: 1
Cats hissing: 1
Runners overtaking me on bridges: 1
Dogs with three legs: 1
Scary looking men with hoody and gloves: 1
Men standing by trees: 1
Groups in the car park: 1
Cyclists stopping to wait for their dog: 1
Smelly stables: 1
Smelly cat litter trays: 1
Music:
Cardiacs
The Killers
Ladyhawke
MGMT
Polyphonic Spree
Libertines