Sheep & jeep

After venturing into a nearby field on Thursday which was far more enjoyable than running in the road dodging potholes and 4x4s, Shaun bought an ordnance survey map to help me find some more fields and footpaths.  I look at the map and it’s full of dots and dashes and I think I don’t understand this stupid morse code map, give me a London A-Z that I can understand and so I decide to go back to the field I was in on Thursday and when I get round the corner of the field, over the other side I see two people on bicycles and I think OI, GET OUT OF MY FIELD, CYCLISTS and then they come round the corner and it’s two old ladies and they get off their bikes to push them up the steep bit and I think ha, lightweights, I’m going to run up the steep bit and I start to run up the steep bit but then I get a bit knackered so I walk up the steep bit and at the top of the steep bit the old ladies turn left and I think don’t turn left, turn right, I want to turn left and so then I’m following the old ladies and I wonder if they’d let me go out cycling with them but then I think I don’t want to go cycling with old ladies and when they get to the end of the road they stop and I think why are they stopping? and then I think maybe they live there and they do indeed live in the cottage at the end of the road and I get to the main road and I’ve done 1.99 miles so I turn around and go back the way I came and back down the steep bit into the field and there’s a jeep in with the sheep and I wonder what the jeep’s doing with the sheep but the sheep aren’t frightened, quite the opposite as they’re running towards the jeep, following it, and I think aah, that must be their owner and they think they’re going to be fed and then I think poor sheep, they must trust and love him and they don’t know that he is going to be responsible for their murder and I think sheep, don’t follow this man, he will kill you but the sheep don’t read my mind and they follow the sheep murderer until he stops his jeep and his window’s open and as I go past he says morning and he looks like a comedy cartoon farmer with his red face and I think don’t say morning to me, sheep killer, but I say hello back and then I get to the field with the new cows in and I stop to say hello to the cows but they don’t say hello back and then I say goodbye cows, but they don’t say goodbye back either and I walk the rest of the way home in what is probably the slowest four miles ever.

Stats:
Distance: 4.02 miles
Time: 56:12
Pace: 13:58 m/m
Calories: 342 
Morse code maps: 1
Old ladies on bicycles: 2
Steep bits: 1
Sheep killers: 1
Speaking cows: 0 
Music:
Nine Inch Nails
Mansun
Joy Division
Gay Dad
Sleeper
Jimi Hendrix