A shrunken three and London hallucinations

I am planning on sitting in front of the telly tonight drinking wine, and because that isn’t very conducive to getting up early and going for a run the next day, I thought I’d go for a run today instead.  When I got up, however, I didn’t feel like it but decided to force myself out the door for three miles.  On getting to the bottom of the hill, like the slacker I am, I decide that I’m only going to do two.  I get past the library and I see the van that belongs to the plumber across the road coming down the road and I think no it’s not, the plumber’s in London and I’m not in London and anyway, he moved away before I did and it’s just a London-based hallucination and I go round the corner and in the distance there’s a kid bouncing around in a hi-vis jacket and I think that’s weird, countryside people don’t usually walk with their kids, they usually drive them everywhere and then I realise it’s not a kid in a hi-vis jacket but a dog in a hi-vis jacket and the woman is pushing a pram or a buggy or whatever they’re called but it’s got it transparent plastic rain hood thing over it and so I can’t see whether there’s a baby in there or just lots of cans of Special Brew and I get to the tree and I’ve got a strange pain in the back of my head on the right hand side and it’s also making my right eyeball hurt but I’m a brave little soldier and I carry on and as I get up to the main road, the road’s covered with water and it’s like a little lake and I don’t want to get my feet wet but it’s not very deep and I only squelch a little bit and then I’m on the main road and I decide to walk the last half mile and then my next door neighbour walks past and I think no, that’s not my next door neighbour, she’s in London and I must stop having these London-based hallucinations.

Stats:
Distance: 2.14 miles
Time: 24:45
Pace: 11:32 m/m
Calories: 222 
Sitting in front of the tellies drinking wine planned: 1 
Three mile runs turned into two mile runs: 1
Dogs in hi-vis jackets: 1
Buggies possibly full of Special Brew: 1
London-based hallucinations: 2
Music:
Audiofuel
Babybird
Mansun
Cardiacs