Janathon day 12: Part 1
I woke up this morning feeling fat. My own fat, that is, and there was flipping tons of it. I weighed myself to confirm there was flipping tons of it and lo! there was indeed flipping tons of it. I thought to myself ‘how could this be? I’ve been doing Janathon, I haven’t eaten any Pringles for ooh, at least 48 hours, and I haven’t been drinking tons’ so what could I blame it on? Do I blame it on the goats cheese tartlet? Do I blame it on the pink lemonade? Do I blame it on the mince pie ice cream? Do I blame it on good times? Do I blame it on the boogie?
I didn’t know which of the above to blame it on but I reckoned I should go out for a run, even though I’m going to be Janathoning at a gym in London tonight with Helsbels at some Shock Absorber Sports Bra workout with a celebrity trainer thingy something or other event I was invited to.
So, a double Janathon. How smug do I feel?
I go out for my run and the first track to come up on my ipod is some Audiofuel and I think yay, this will keep me going and it does indeed keep me going and I a) do a whole mile without any walking bits; and b) do it in under 11 minutes. Go me.
I get to the downhill bit and there’s about twenty million sheep in the horse field and I wonder how sheep just magically appear in fields? and I also think how nice it would be if twenty million cows magically appeared in a field one day, ideally in the field a few doors down, then I could see them every day.
When I get to the traffic lights I wait for the red light and I walk across the road in case I fall over and the lights turn back to green while I’m lying in the middle of the road and an oncoming lorry doesn’t see me and squishes me as flat as the hedgehog I saw the other day and then I get back to the house and the Christmas tree is still up on the village green and I think ooooooooooooh, it should have been taken down by now and it’s bad luck or something and WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE.
But in the meantime, here’s a cute kitten pic, as requested by Travelling Hopefully.
Stats
Distance: 1.96 miles
Time: 22:31
Pace: 11:28 m/m
Calories: 205
Fat: flipping tons of it
Part 1s of double Janathons: 1
New sheep: about twenty million
New cows: 0
Christmas trees still up: 1
great blog – made me chuckle – its good to know i am not the only one to have unusual thoughts whilst out ‘running’
Can you blame it your hormones? That’s what I normally do. Mine though … not yours, obviously.
Seriously, the bad luck only belongs to the person who put up the Xmas tree. Not you. But the fat is all yours. None of it can be my responsibility, even though I was the instigator of pie, lemonade and two different flavours of ice-cream.
Okay, I may be partially responsible.
Actually – blame me. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. Next time we run 8 miles uphill and drink only alfalfa juice, okay?
Now I have read it I fancy some goats cheese tartlet but I don’t have any as I am the only one who likes it… that cat reminds me of a wise owl
And if you want more cute kittens, check out http://kittenwar.com/.
Two Janathons in one day amazing that ton of fat you mention will just melt off.
2 Janathons in one day… you know what this means right? All the mince pie ice cream you can eat. Flipping tons of it!
That kitten is very, very perturbing. Maybe it needs a kitten cardigan or something, but looking at it makes me feel a bit nervous.
Amazing double Janathon effort.
I’m not sure if that kitten is actually cute, or just weirdly and dismally surprised. Like Laura Jones I can’t look at it for too long . . .
However, tops work on the double Janathon-ing.
Well done Cathy – lovely entertaining post :o)
I forget how much i love your blogs 🙂