Intervals with Martin Yelling

Not actually with him, of course, but I thought I’d be brave and try out Audiofuel’s Yelling Performance 180 MAX Interval Training which lasts for 43 minutes and 8 seconds. I’m only used to doing the Pyramid interval training which lasts for 22 minutes. Eek.

After yesterday’s shopping trip for a pair of sandals, I came home with four bras, a silver and purple ring, a top (I had originally thought it was a dress but on further inspection and a quick reminder to myself of the date of birth on my birth certificate, decided it was better off as a top), a dress (of an appropriate length for my age), three books, and a white and pinky-purpley running vest.

I don’t usually wear running vests unless it’s proper hot, but decided today would be an exception as I wanted to wear my new one and so I put that on and then realised that with my pinky-purpley running vest and my pink socks and my pinky-purpley running shoes, if I was five stone heavier, people would think I was out training for a Race for Life.

I set off for my intervals and Marty (I am allowed to call him Marty, aren’t I?) does the ‘run to the beat 1 2 3 4’ thing but I still can’t keep in time and so I just plod along in my own haphazard fashion sticking to my own haphazard beat and then it gets faster and then we’re on a recovery bit and I stop to walk and I wonder if we’re allowed to walk on these recovery bits but Marty doesn’t say anything about walking and so I start to run again and then I’m about to go downhill and I think RAMP IT UP MARTY, I’M ON A DOWNHILL BIT AND I CAN GO FAST ON DOWNHILL BITS and then he’s telling me to run with my arms down by my sides and I think HUH, YOU WANT ME TO RUN LIKE A SPAZ? and I refuse to run with my arms down by my sides, especially as there are three people in my immediate vicinity and then as I get near the bottom of the hill, Marty decides to ramp it up and tells me to go faster and I agree to do this because of the aforementioned three people in my immediate vicinity and I’m thinking ha, look at me as I fly past you, I can see you’re mightily impressed with my athletic prowess and graceful running ability and then a fire engine goes past and I think YEAH, BABY, I’M GOING SO FAST I’M ON FIRE and then we’re going slowly again and Marty says again to run with my arms at my sides and to shake them about but NO WAY AM I GOING TO DO THIS AS I’LL LOOK LIKE PHOEBE IN FRIENDS

and then we’re going fast and then slow again and I get to the traffic lights and my Garmin says I’ve done 2.98 miles in just under 33 minutes but the lights won’t change and I think I’m not going to make under 11 minute miles again and I think CURSE YOU, YOU RATHER ANNOYING TRAFFIC LIGHTS (‘rather annoying’ may not be the exact words that were in my head) and my Garmin ticks over and I need to do another half a mile and so I go up the road and as I cross over Marty says it’s the last fast bit and tells me to give it everything and so I run and run and run and run and run and I run through the park and back home and when I get in my Garmin says I have indeed done under 11 minute miles.

Splits (you can see where the rather annoying traffic lights held me up)

Stats
Distance: 3.5 miles
Time: 37:04
Pace: 10:35 m/m
Calories: 368
Martin Yelling interval programs: 1
Shopping trips to buy a pair of sandals: 1
Pairs of sandals bought: 0
Runners wearing too much pinky-purple: 1
People in my immediate vicinity: 3
Fire engines: 1
Rather annoying traffic lights: 1