Category: Gear

As you know, this time last year, I was looking for some walking boots so I could go and climb some mountains.  Three of them, to be precise.  To be even more precise, Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Mount Snowden.  Yes, the Three Peaks Challenge.  Although I did it in a girly lightweight style, climbing them over three days instead of 24 hours like the nutters do.

Obviously, if you’re going to be doing a lot of walking,  you’re going to need something decent on your feet.  I’d trawled the outdoor shops in my lunch hour (in the days when I had one of those job things) hoping to find something suitable that also looked good.  Bad mistake.  Good looking walking boots do. not. exist.  At all.  Ever.  The man in the shop said, “it’s not a fashion parade” as I tried on a pair of boots that even my 74 year mother would squirm at.  “But,” I protested, “they’re just soooooooooooo hideous!”  And they were.  Eventually, I found a shop with a pair that were just on the right side of not too hideous and I went home with my new walking boots.

Berghaus have made a pair that also aren’t too hideous.  In fact, I’d say they’re not too bad at all really.  I’m not sure what the two to three season thing means though.  Does that mean that after two or three seasons they’re going to fall apart?  So if you’re a complete lightweight and it takes you three seasons to do the Three Peaks and you’ve gone up Ben Nevis in the Spring, Scafell Pike in the Summer  and then you’re at the top of Snowden in the Autum and suddenly they disintegrate, leaving you to catch the train back down in your bare feet?  Just as well you left Snowden to last then, eh?

If you watch the Webtogs video, you can learn more about the boots, and hear some technical stuff that I don’t understand, like aggressive lugs.  And things I do understand like laces that expand when your feet get hot, I could do with that with my girly WAG boots.

Shaun’s growing some hedgehog cucumbers in the greenhouse at the moment but although they’re called cucumbers, they’re not for consumption so we’ll just have to keep them as pets and recently I was pointed in the direction of the walking boots man again although now he’s a beardy walking boots man making videos for Webtogs about North Face Hedgehog trainers so I watch the video to see if the trainers are for running or just to be kept as pets.  He doesn’t mention anything about pets which is a shame but says they’re their bestseller and to be used for low level trail walking and running out on the hills.  As usual, he uses a lot of technical words I don’t understand but apparently this particular shoe (I’m assuming he means the other in the pair too, and not just the one he’s fondling in the video) is breathable, keep your feet dry (but he said that about the sandals and they had huge holes in them so I’m not sure he’s to be fully trusted) and protect your feet from stones.  He also says that the air bubble puts a spring in your step.  Ah, so that’s what the bubble’s for then.  He then jauntily flips the shoe over to show us the sole and goes on to say they have fantastic grip and traction but I want to know when I’m going to see a hedgehog and maybe one will wander past in the video but, alas, no hedgehogs appear.

I also haven’t seen any hedgehogs round here either.  I have seen a dwindling number of sheep in the field at the bottom of the garden which have either dwindled further or disappeared altogether as I haven’t seen them for a couple of days, lots of bunnies (the dead/alive ratio wasn’t looking good for a while but that rectified itself yesterday on an early bike ride), a few horses and a few cows.  But no hedgehogs.  And I thought the countryside was full of animals, not just a few dead bunnies?

This time last year, I was just about to leave my job and start a new job and get sacked from the new job three weeks later (obviously I didn’t know about the getting sacked bit this time last year).  When I got the sack, I decided not to mope about but to find something new and different to do and what I found was a Facebook advert asking me if I wanted to climb up and down three mountains in three days and I thought to myself, do I want to climb up and down three mountains in three days? and I thought no, not really, but I might meet some fit men, so I signed up and then read the things to buy list which at the top was walking boots and so I went into Blacks and Snow & Rock looking for some sexy walking boots and came away with the impression that sexy walking boots do. not. exist.

This impression was further compounded by this video about Keen Sandals which has been brought to my attention.  I should have had alarms ringing just by the mention of the word “keen” and the word “sandals”.  Can it get any worse?  Can the image of middle-aged men be any stronger?  Still, I watched the video and they sound quite impressive with their toe protectors which apparently stop your toes from getting bruised, which I certainly could have done with after three days going up and down mountains and they’ve even got a recycled sole for all you tree-huggers out there and they have an alternative to leather which are salt water resistant so you can, um, go swimming in them or something but the only thing that appeals to me is the bunjee cord instead of a normal lace, as for some reason I have the dexterity skills of a two year old and can not do my laces up so they stay done up for more than about an hour.  Still, the man on the video says they’re a design classic, and who am I to argue?